Chores for 3 and 4 Year Olds

 We've recently revamped the chores. My oldest, who is almost 5, was asking for a sticker chart for her chores, my almost 3 year old was starting to show signs of laziness and trying to get by on his sister doing all the work, and I was thinking that I really need to get them into a routine of things we do every day. Before this, chores looked like this:
Mama runs around house like chicken with it's head cut off and gives kids random errands, then gets frustrated having to stop and reteach them how to do errand x since it's been 3 weeks since the last time I gave them that particular job. Mama throws up hands and thinks to self, "Now if only I could remember to make them do errand x every day and had the time to reteach it often enough that they did it as a habit and needed less supervising and nagging!"

The Chart
After grabbing spare moments to fiddle around with making a chart, I came up with this one:

This one is my daughter's chart. We're a bit unloyal with the type of stickers, as you can see. Lol! We use whatever they feel like sticking on there for that particular chore. My drawings are not very spectacular but they serve the purpose of helping non-readers remember what needs doing. If they get less than 10 sad faces in a week, they get to pick an item from the dollar tree. As you can see, there are no sad faces this week so far!
They get an X through an item that Mama has excused them from doing on that day. Some rare days we might not have alot of dishes or laundry at the time of day when I can supervise their assistance with these things so I X-cuse (haha) them from that item that day and save it for the next day if it can wait that long or for after they go to bed if it can't. Sometimes I have a prenatal appointment in the afternoon, which kind of reshapes our entire day. We don't usually do school or much for chores on those days, so many items on the list get an X on those days. We don't do chore chores on Sundays for religious reasons, so everything gets an X but the hygene and caring for the stuff we own that could harm someone if left out. Aka toys all over the floor pose a hazard so if they get them out then they will clean them up before bed so Mama doesn't fall when I take the baby in to her crib in the dark after they've fallen asleep.
At the end of the day, if there was anything that they had opportunity and reminder to do and decided to goof off or refuse to do it or throw a distraction at me or a tantrum or any other reason why they COULD and SHOULD have done it and yet did not... then they get a sad face drawn on that square instead of a sticker. At the end of the week we count sad faces and if they got 9 or less sad faces then we get them each a treat that costs a dollar or less. Sometimes it's a sucker or a chocolate or a toy from Dollar Tree. Now, it might be good to note that a couple months ago when we started this new chart, they could get alot more sad faces. This is because they were not used to doing these things often enough to know how to do them all so I was spending hours a day following them around and teaching them these things, building the habits. I wasn't able to spend my entire day doing nothing but chore training and that would have been overwhelming for the kids as well, so there were alot more X's and alot more :('s on our charts back then. It was a process. I decide how many sad faces are acceptable based on my kids' abilities. When learning new chores there are bound to be more of them that the child will try and not be able to do yet and will be frustrated and have a meltdown instead of putting in the effort anyway. (They don't get a sad face if they put forth the effort until I help or excuse them, only if they quit trying and pitch a fit.) I didn't want to punish them for not being able to do something, but I felt it was important to demonstrate that having a meltdown in frustration was a "sad face." So I found a balance that worked for my family by allowing for enough sad faces each week that their overall goal by the end of the week was never unattainable due to frustration in learning new chores. As their abilities increase, their sad face limit decreases accordingly, so that they only wind up penalized at the end of the week (forfeiting their reward) for actual laziness or rebellion rather than childish frustration over inability to do a chore yet.

The Chores
Chicklet will be 5 years old next week, Bug turned 3 years old in August, and we've been working with these new charts since I think about mid-July. Here is a list of what they each are supposed to do for chores on a regular weekday. There are 13 rows on the one in the picture. I have scribbled in a 14th row at the bottom. I've edited my master copy on my computer but have not printed a new chart out since I made that change, so future charts will have 14 chores worth of rows.
-Breakfast [This means that if I've set out bowls of oats or cereal the night before, Chicklet pours the milk for her and Bug and gets them each a spoon. Sometimes I do this and sometimes I get it for them in the morning, like if breakfast will be leftover fruit, or eggs, or something else that won't sit out all night. I also don't allow her the option of handling the milk jug if it is more than 1/3 full because it's too heavy for a 4 year old to control. Regardless, both kids must scrape any soggy leftovers into the trash and put their bowl and utensil into the sink after they are done eating.]
-Brush teeth [I still have to help Bug with his, and I still check Chicklet's after she's done.]
-Brush hair [Chicklet has very long hair and I'm teaching her how to brush it herself. She doesn't have the hang of it yet. That's okay. She'll get it eventually. It's hard to brush long hair! The baby and Bug like to comb their own hair and both have short enough hair that it doesn't really need anything done with it so I praise them for the effort.]
-Make beds [Bug needs alot of help with his- I pretty much do it for him and then have him help me straighten the wrinkles out. Chicklet has no top sheet, just a comforter, so she can do it herself. When teaching her how, I verbally directed her to pull the comforter off the bed by grabbing one side/end of the blanket and then to walk backward onto the bed pulling the blanket back onto the bed from the opposite side/end it was drug off by. Her mattress is on the floor right now so there is no headboard or footboard to make things difficult, and she has very little if any trouble making her bed alone now. I can tell her to go do it now and then go check it after she's done.]
-Trash/Toilet Paper [Chicklet gets the 3 little bitty bedroom and office trashes and dumps the contents into one of the big trash cans in either the bathroom or kitchen. Bug opens the little TP cabinet that holds 5 rolls and fills it if it is needed. Sometimes he likes to stack the rolls and knock them over like block towers a few times before he puts them in there. ;) He's 3 and he doesn't horse around for too long and always gets them in there after he's done being silly so I humor him.]
-Dust [I give each kid a dry rag to wipe surfaces with. I'm not really concerned about dusting but I praise them like crazy and they think they are so helpful and it's so much fun to dust so that's why it's on here. At least this way my house kind of sort of gets dusted. If it were left up to me I'd dust once a year...]
-Laundry [Chicklet is learning how to fold socks. She can do washcloths and underwear and hand towels/dish towels also. She hangs up her play clothes and puts away her socks and undies. Bug is learning how to fold the washcloths. He's not as meticulous about it as his sister. ;) ]
-Lunch [Usually a PB&J so their job is to wipe up the crumbs afterward. Occasionally it's leftovers so then they scrape the bits into the trash afterward and put their bowl and utensil in the sink.]
-Special [This one is here in case they do something special that I need done that day so they can have a place to put a sticker for it. Sometimes I'll have Chicklet clean up the baby's toys or Bug washes the front door or a wall with a spray bottle of water and a rag. Sometimes something else. Usually with Chicklet it's something I need done that she can do unsupervised, and with Bug it's a project I think he will enjoy and feel helpful doing while I do schoolwork with big sis. We don't have a "special" chore every day or even most days, but it's there in case I need extra help or the kids need a project to get their attitudes back on track. They do not get a sad face for this one unless I give them a "special" chore that is not optional and they refuse or say they will and then don't do it (a lie). I've never had to give a sad face for a special chore not getting done, BTW. :) ]
-Schoolwork [Not really a chore but they like to get a sticker for it. Chicklet has just started My Father's World Kindergarten and we are simultaneously doing Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, which she's about 1/3 of the way through. Bug pesters me until I let him read a few letter sounds from the first 3 lessons in Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, so we call that his schoolwork. If he forgets to ask me to do it I just "X-cuse" him from it on the chart that day since he's 3 years old and not really "doing school" yet except when I'm humoring him. ;) ]
-Dishes [Chicklet is teaching Bug how to put away the flatware. I'm teaching her how to teach him with gentleness. ;) Both kids like to stack and hand me the similar cups and bowls to put in the upper cabinet. Chicklet can put away most of the lower-cabinet items herself and I'm teaching her how to load the dirty flatware without putting too many of the same item going the same direction in the same hole (which ends up making a dirt-sandwich and not getting clean between them) and where to place certain types of items in the dishwasher (such as plastic in the top rack, pots and pans and cookware in the bottom rack, bottle parts in the bottle part basket...). I work much faster than them at the dishwasher, obviously. So I just go at it as fast as I can while I set them to doing the flatware. If they finish before I'm done I have them stack cups or put away the bottom rack. At this point Bug loses interest and I thank him for his help and excuse him. Chicklet starts loading the flatware and I load the rest. They take turns getting to put in the soap and push the on button so if it's Bug's turn I call him back for that. It's their favorite part of course. Usually they are slow and barely wind up getting the flatware put away before I'm done unloading and reloading everything else but occasionally they're speedy and motivated and get to do alot more. I don't sweat it. I encourage them to pay attention if they get distracted but I don't really mind if they take the whole time to do the flatware at this point. Someday soon Bug will be capable of doing it all by himself and I'll have Chicklet unloading the lower-cabinet things while he does that. And then she'll be old enough to unload and reload most of it herself and I'll have Bug teaching Babykins the flatware and I'll teach him how to load the dirty flatware, and so on. In time.]
-Clean room [Every evening when my DH gets off work, he calls me and tells me he's on his way, so I know to make sure supper's in the works. When he calls I tell the kids that Daddy's on his way and while I work on supper, they clean their toys up. When they tell me they're done I go inspect at my first opportunity. As soon as possible so I don't forget!]
-Supper [If there's anything little kid friendly to do when they're done cleaning their toys up I allow them to help. I put the dishes on the table and Chicklet sets the plates or bowls out and Bug does the flatware. After supper they scrape their dishes and put them in the sink. Chicklet washes the table and Bug washes the chairs.]
-Brush teeth [At bedtime. Because if it's not on the chart, this is the getting ready for bed thing that always gets forgotten!]

So as you can see, most of it at this point is simple hygene and cleaning up after themselves. A few are actually real home chores like the laundry and dishes. Many are just on there because they are things that kids enjoy, like dusting, and kids love to feel helpful and be praised for being helpful. If they're feeling overwhelmed or we're caught up enjoying each other and everyone is being sweet and helpful on their own I make liberal with the X's so it's a light chore day. If they're having an ornery day I make sure they keep on track and do all their chores so they have less time to get into mischeif. Cranky kids are best kept really busy... ;)

I think I've explained it to death but when I'm pregnant my brain has holes like swiss cheese! So if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask and I will answer as soon as I can! :) Thanks for stopping by my little blog today!

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American Flag Recognition - Free Toddler 'Curriculum'

(Image courtesy of Public-Domain-Image.com)

You will need:
*Toddler(s).
*Wee Sing America

Desired Results:
*Child should be able to recognize and describe the United States flag.

Prerequisite to:
*Recognition of various other types of flags.

Phase 1; build interest and recognition of flags in general. When Chicklet was 3 1/2 years old she started getting excited about flags. Now it's quite easy to get a toddler excited about something, just point it out every time you see one and they will become pretty well obsessed with it. So for phase 1, which I did not even know was phase 1 of anything at the time (lol!), I would just point out flags galore out the window as we drove to and from anywhere and everywhere. As expected, Chicklet began to get all excited every time she saw a flag. Don't rush it. Just enjoy getting excited over flags with your tot. When your tot begins to point out flags before you can even spot them, it's time to move on to phase 2.
Phase 2; introduce the concept of different "kinds" of flags. One day I asked her, "Do you know what kind of flag that was?" She stared back at me with a deer-in-headlights look, of course. She had no idea there were different "kinds" of flags. Flags were just fun colorful flappy things on tall sticks to her. I could see she was about to get frustrated that she didn't know the answer to the question so I cheerfully explained it to her very simply. I told her that the flags with red and white stripes and a blue square with white stars were American flags! She just stared at me, perplexed and uncomprehending. I asked, "Did you see the red stripes?" She said "yeah" hesitantly. I replied that that was wonderful! Let's sing a song to help us know which flags are American flags! I turned on Wee Sing America, song #9 "There Are Many Flags", and began singing along with the CD while making sure my face was toward her. I enunciated the words clearly and made sure she could see my lips as I sang it to help her make out the individual words.

"...Then hurrah for the flag, Our country's flag!
It's stripes and white stars too!
There is no flag in any land,
Like our own Red, White, and Blue!"

So goes the chorus. A good song to help a toddler remember the colors and patterns on the US flag. Then every time this song came around on the CD I would get all excited about it, "Chicklet guess what?! It's the FLAG SONG!" and turn the volume up. Pretty soon she started singing along, getting crazy excited when it came on.
Phase 3; develop knowlege of correct lyrics. We would listen to the Wee Sing America CD every time we were in the car, and at home we would sing it ourselves. Singing it without the CD, just one on one with her, enabled me to correct misunderstood lyrics. I would recite a line a few times over, not singing it, just recite a line she'd had trouble with. Out of the blue. She would listen and start to smile as she realized that what I was reciting were the words to her new favorite song. Then she would burst out singing and I would sing along with her, facing her so she could see my lips, and pronouncing the lyrics clearly and correctly. No need to rush. Don't go overboard with corrections on the lyrics. You don't want to make the tot dislike the song because they are frustrated that they can't seem to get it right. Just recite and sing it correctly and clearly and occasionally if there's a word or phrase they repeatedly have trouble with you can say it to or with them a couple times to help them remember. But not every time unless they seem to be wanting help. Praise them when they get it right, even if they only got one new word in the phrase right and all the other words are still mumbled, jumbled, or wrong, praise the child for getting the one word right. Praise them with a huge smile and a hug. You are so proud of this accomplishment- show it. The child will want nothing more than to learn ALL the words right to get more glowing praise from you. Don't rush it, let the child lead. If the tot is singing the song, cheerfully join in.
Phase 4; apply song to flag recognition. Once the tot gets a key line correct, apply it to the next American flag you pass. When Chicklet got "stripes and white stars too" correct, I pointed out the next American flag by saying, "Look! It's an American flag! It's got stripes and white stars too! Do you see the stripes? Do you see the stars? What color were the stripes?" to which she replied that the stripes were red and white. This let me know that she had visually locked onto the right flag and connected it with the lyrics she had been learning. When she got "...like our own Red, White, and Blue" correct, I then pointed out the next American flag by saying, "Look that flag is red, white, and blue! What kind of flag is it?" and she would visually lock onto the flag and gleefully yell out something about it having "white stars too!" Eventually she would answer my question with, "It's a 'MERICA flag!" When I knew she could recognize the US flag by sight, I stopped giving her the lyric prompts when asking about the flag. I would simply ask, "What kind of flag is that?" and she would reply correctly.
Phase 5; opening the door to the concept of other flags having purposes and meanings too. Eventually I asked her, "What kind of flag is that?" and it was NOT a US flag. She knew it was not a US flag but did not know what she was supposed to describe this flag as. She ummmed for a minute before smirking at me sheepishly and asking what kind of flag it is. :) When your child knows what is and what is not a US flag, then you can begin to point out other kinds of flags. Do not overwhelm them by pointing out every different kind of flag you cross paths with. If they ask, yes tell them, but your plan should be to pick 1 or 2 new kinds of flags to point out. When you point out a new flag, make sure to do it when you have the time to pause and examine this flag. Point out distinguishing features of the flag. What color is it? What symbols and designs are on it that tell you what it's for? If you know what the symbols mean, then explain that to your child. They understand way more than we give them credit for.
This past weekend we had the opportunity to introduce a few new flags to our little American Flag expert. :) We went to a parade on Saturday and there went the US flag marching by side by side with our state flag. So we pointed out the state flag and some of it's prominent features to her every time it was marched past us. Before this, we had been at the carnival and one of the food wagons had pirate flags hanging from the front. I pointed out the pirate flags to Chicklet breifly on our way past and then on our return trip she pointed them out to me, stating that they are pirate flags.

If you can find a kid friendly song that describes key aspects of the flag you wish to teach, you can adapt this concept to any flag from any country, business, fairytale, etc. In fact, you can use music to teach many things more easily. Children learn things so well when music is applied!

PRE-Preschool; Teaching Your Child From Birth (Pt. 1 -verbal skills)

The first 3 years of a child's life are downright miraculous. Think about it, they can go from totally helpless and incompetent to being able to walk, run, climb, talk, sing, draw, play, act, exaggerate, converse, request, querry, and follow simple commands. Among other things. It's amazing how the newborn child is programmed to learn learn learn so very much in such a short time! Alot of parents just do the minumum and let their child teach themself in these precious and crucial first 3 years. Dare I say it? I think that the first 3 years are of key importance in teaching a child to love learning, teaching them HOW to learn, and teaching them things that will become more difficult for them to learn at an older age. And especially, teaching them behavioural skills! I only have 2 littles so far but I've been teaching PRE-pre-school for 3 years now as a mommy to my kids -here are some things I've learned and some ways to teach your child from birth.

VERBAL SKILLS
Narrate everything to your baby as you are doing it.
"I am opening the refrigerator! See Baby? Opened! Closed! Opened! Closed!"
"Let's get the mail! Open the door, look in the mailbox! See the mail in the mailbox? Can you grab it? Here, you can hold it while we go back inside. Good job! You helped get the mail!"
"Left foot in your left pant leg! Right foot in your right pant leg! Yay! Now lets puuuullll up your britches! Yay!  All pulled up! You are now dressed!"
This will teach them rights and lefts long before it becomes a chore to remember! I was 6 or older before I knew right from left. It was so hard for me to remember! But I've been narrating right and left every time we get my daughter dressed from the day of her birth and she knew right from left by 2 1/2 or sooner.
Narrate when you are kissing or tickling baby too. Say "Kissy kisses!" and then lean in to kiss those delicious cheeks. Wiggle your fingers in front of baby and get progressively closer, saying "tickle... tickle tickle... tickle tickle..." until your fingers touch baby and as you are frantically tickling also frantically say, "Tickle tickle!" repeatedly. Baby will associate the word "tickle" with being tickled and the word "Kiss" with being kissed.

Don't talk alot of babytalk. You know you wanna just pinch those cheeks and say coochie goo, but instead of training your baby that getting pinched cheeks means coochie goo (whatever that is!), try saying "Oh sweet cheekies!" instead. At least then baby is learning that those chubby soft sides of his face are called something like "sweet cheekies."

Folding laundry? Play peek a boo with the clothes before you fold each one! And don't forget to narrate! "Where is Mommy? Boo! There is Mommy! Mommy was hiding behind the sock!" Your child will learn that foot-shaped thing is called a sock, that Mommy will always come back, and that just because you can't see something doesn't mean it is not there!

Letters and numbers- point them out wherever you go! You are in McDonald's? "Look baby! An 'M'! Do you know what M says? M says mmmmm!" Just like you would do with farm animals, "Look baby, it's a cow! What does a cow say? Cow says MOOO!"

Speak clearly! Sing all the time. Kids learn so much from songs! This is a great way to start teaching BEFORE the child is even born! Sing to your unborn baby. She will learn the sound of your voice and learn to listen for it, to hang on your every word.

Watch what you say! If you don't want your kids to say certain words, set the example and don't use those words! Even as young as in the womb this is important! The child in your womb is connected to you because you are literally her entire world, and she can feel the negative emotions that are associated with saying words that you are ashamed to say, or that evoke anger or despair in you. And once the child is born they are learning, learning everything. Learning how you react to things. If you react with a curse to spilled milk, they are learning that is acceptable behavior. They can see, hear, smell you so be careful what you fill their little senses with. Watching violent or profane movies in the vicinity of your baby is not beneficial and could possibly have long term effects we don't know about yet. I have memories from before I could talk, and I was talking in sentences by 18 months old according to my Nana, so you never know what your little baby will remember. Plant good seeds. Speak clearly, speak often, speak encouragingly.

If you want your child to say please and thank you, don't start yelling at them or threatening to spank them if they don't mind their Ps and Qs! YOU set the example. I guarantee you that if the stay home parent says please and thank you to the child EVERY time, then the child will learn to do that as well! Of course the hope is that both parents will example this trait. Now I'm not saying that for an older child who used to say please that if he stops he should get away with it, no. I'm talking about the under 3 crowd who has not mastered the concept of saying "please" instead of "want it" just yet. If they do not use good manners consistently, then you cannot punish them when they are consistently inconsistent; You must be sure that they know what they know before you punish them for not acting upon it. Deliberate direct disobedience should be dealt with directly. Inconsistency or confusion however should be a message to you that the child needs more encouragement and more of your living example to get this concept to sink in. Again, I'm talking a little baby here, not an older child whom you know knows better! Willful disobedience should always be dealt with swiftly and concisely without anger on your part as the parent. But that's for another post.. ;)

These things encourage verbal skills. Word association is the first step to talking. Once baby knows that an item or action has a name, he will listen for that name when he sees/feels/hears/tastes/smells the object or action! And then he will try to speak it. It's amazing how much babies actually say that most people miss because they are not listening! I know a baby that stopped talking at 1 because nobody could understand him and did not begin talking again for over a year. Everyone wants to be understood, to really be heard, so trying to hear and understand your baby's babble as the wanna-be words they are will encourage him to speak more!

Baby's on the changing table making sounds. Do you ignore and hurriedly change the diaper? Or do you listen to the baby and then realize he's grabbing at his foot saying "ut?" Encourage him! Reply, "Yes! Foot! Foot!" then wait for him to say it again. He will get clearer each try. Alternate, you say it and then wait for him to mimic you. You are teaching him how to correctly pronounce foot. Make sure he can see your mouth when you speak so he can see how your lips form the word. He will smile proudly into your loving eyes, knowing he's saying something that you understand and that you are proud of him for it!

On a final note, keep in mind that every child learns differently, at a different pace, and this does not mean there is something "wrong" with your child, merely that you as a parent have a special challenge to find the child's key- that way or teaching them that will open up their little mind to learning. Children with learning 'disabilities' are just as SMART as other children, they just LEARN DIFFERENTLY or at a different pace! And this can pose a very difficult thing for the teaching parent to find the child's key because their key is different than the parent's key and the siblings' keys so it might take a lot of tries and thinking outside the box to find it. Just remember to do your best not to get frustrated in front of your child. If you are frustrated that you can't help them, they will take it to mean you are frustrated at them and they in turn will be discouraged and frustrated. Frustrated children are harder to teach.


Dear mothers, so many of whom have been mothers longer than I and must have so much wisdom to share, PLEASE I encourage you to add a comment here about how YOU encourage verbal skills in little babies! Please do enrich this post with your wisdom! :)
I know all of us, regardless of how long we've been a parent or how new to it, can learn something from one another. Let us lift one another up in raising Godly children, starting from birth! Be kind, be teachable, be willing to teach, and be respectful. God bless you!

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This is part 1 of a series on ways to teach your tiny ones before school ever starts. I hope to write a part 2, etc. to go along with this post someday!

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