Chores for 3 and 4 Year Olds

 We've recently revamped the chores. My oldest, who is almost 5, was asking for a sticker chart for her chores, my almost 3 year old was starting to show signs of laziness and trying to get by on his sister doing all the work, and I was thinking that I really need to get them into a routine of things we do every day. Before this, chores looked like this:
Mama runs around house like chicken with it's head cut off and gives kids random errands, then gets frustrated having to stop and reteach them how to do errand x since it's been 3 weeks since the last time I gave them that particular job. Mama throws up hands and thinks to self, "Now if only I could remember to make them do errand x every day and had the time to reteach it often enough that they did it as a habit and needed less supervising and nagging!"

The Chart
After grabbing spare moments to fiddle around with making a chart, I came up with this one:

This one is my daughter's chart. We're a bit unloyal with the type of stickers, as you can see. Lol! We use whatever they feel like sticking on there for that particular chore. My drawings are not very spectacular but they serve the purpose of helping non-readers remember what needs doing. If they get less than 10 sad faces in a week, they get to pick an item from the dollar tree. As you can see, there are no sad faces this week so far!
They get an X through an item that Mama has excused them from doing on that day. Some rare days we might not have alot of dishes or laundry at the time of day when I can supervise their assistance with these things so I X-cuse (haha) them from that item that day and save it for the next day if it can wait that long or for after they go to bed if it can't. Sometimes I have a prenatal appointment in the afternoon, which kind of reshapes our entire day. We don't usually do school or much for chores on those days, so many items on the list get an X on those days. We don't do chore chores on Sundays for religious reasons, so everything gets an X but the hygene and caring for the stuff we own that could harm someone if left out. Aka toys all over the floor pose a hazard so if they get them out then they will clean them up before bed so Mama doesn't fall when I take the baby in to her crib in the dark after they've fallen asleep.
At the end of the day, if there was anything that they had opportunity and reminder to do and decided to goof off or refuse to do it or throw a distraction at me or a tantrum or any other reason why they COULD and SHOULD have done it and yet did not... then they get a sad face drawn on that square instead of a sticker. At the end of the week we count sad faces and if they got 9 or less sad faces then we get them each a treat that costs a dollar or less. Sometimes it's a sucker or a chocolate or a toy from Dollar Tree. Now, it might be good to note that a couple months ago when we started this new chart, they could get alot more sad faces. This is because they were not used to doing these things often enough to know how to do them all so I was spending hours a day following them around and teaching them these things, building the habits. I wasn't able to spend my entire day doing nothing but chore training and that would have been overwhelming for the kids as well, so there were alot more X's and alot more :('s on our charts back then. It was a process. I decide how many sad faces are acceptable based on my kids' abilities. When learning new chores there are bound to be more of them that the child will try and not be able to do yet and will be frustrated and have a meltdown instead of putting in the effort anyway. (They don't get a sad face if they put forth the effort until I help or excuse them, only if they quit trying and pitch a fit.) I didn't want to punish them for not being able to do something, but I felt it was important to demonstrate that having a meltdown in frustration was a "sad face." So I found a balance that worked for my family by allowing for enough sad faces each week that their overall goal by the end of the week was never unattainable due to frustration in learning new chores. As their abilities increase, their sad face limit decreases accordingly, so that they only wind up penalized at the end of the week (forfeiting their reward) for actual laziness or rebellion rather than childish frustration over inability to do a chore yet.

The Chores
Chicklet will be 5 years old next week, Bug turned 3 years old in August, and we've been working with these new charts since I think about mid-July. Here is a list of what they each are supposed to do for chores on a regular weekday. There are 13 rows on the one in the picture. I have scribbled in a 14th row at the bottom. I've edited my master copy on my computer but have not printed a new chart out since I made that change, so future charts will have 14 chores worth of rows.
-Breakfast [This means that if I've set out bowls of oats or cereal the night before, Chicklet pours the milk for her and Bug and gets them each a spoon. Sometimes I do this and sometimes I get it for them in the morning, like if breakfast will be leftover fruit, or eggs, or something else that won't sit out all night. I also don't allow her the option of handling the milk jug if it is more than 1/3 full because it's too heavy for a 4 year old to control. Regardless, both kids must scrape any soggy leftovers into the trash and put their bowl and utensil into the sink after they are done eating.]
-Brush teeth [I still have to help Bug with his, and I still check Chicklet's after she's done.]
-Brush hair [Chicklet has very long hair and I'm teaching her how to brush it herself. She doesn't have the hang of it yet. That's okay. She'll get it eventually. It's hard to brush long hair! The baby and Bug like to comb their own hair and both have short enough hair that it doesn't really need anything done with it so I praise them for the effort.]
-Make beds [Bug needs alot of help with his- I pretty much do it for him and then have him help me straighten the wrinkles out. Chicklet has no top sheet, just a comforter, so she can do it herself. When teaching her how, I verbally directed her to pull the comforter off the bed by grabbing one side/end of the blanket and then to walk backward onto the bed pulling the blanket back onto the bed from the opposite side/end it was drug off by. Her mattress is on the floor right now so there is no headboard or footboard to make things difficult, and she has very little if any trouble making her bed alone now. I can tell her to go do it now and then go check it after she's done.]
-Trash/Toilet Paper [Chicklet gets the 3 little bitty bedroom and office trashes and dumps the contents into one of the big trash cans in either the bathroom or kitchen. Bug opens the little TP cabinet that holds 5 rolls and fills it if it is needed. Sometimes he likes to stack the rolls and knock them over like block towers a few times before he puts them in there. ;) He's 3 and he doesn't horse around for too long and always gets them in there after he's done being silly so I humor him.]
-Dust [I give each kid a dry rag to wipe surfaces with. I'm not really concerned about dusting but I praise them like crazy and they think they are so helpful and it's so much fun to dust so that's why it's on here. At least this way my house kind of sort of gets dusted. If it were left up to me I'd dust once a year...]
-Laundry [Chicklet is learning how to fold socks. She can do washcloths and underwear and hand towels/dish towels also. She hangs up her play clothes and puts away her socks and undies. Bug is learning how to fold the washcloths. He's not as meticulous about it as his sister. ;) ]
-Lunch [Usually a PB&J so their job is to wipe up the crumbs afterward. Occasionally it's leftovers so then they scrape the bits into the trash afterward and put their bowl and utensil in the sink.]
-Special [This one is here in case they do something special that I need done that day so they can have a place to put a sticker for it. Sometimes I'll have Chicklet clean up the baby's toys or Bug washes the front door or a wall with a spray bottle of water and a rag. Sometimes something else. Usually with Chicklet it's something I need done that she can do unsupervised, and with Bug it's a project I think he will enjoy and feel helpful doing while I do schoolwork with big sis. We don't have a "special" chore every day or even most days, but it's there in case I need extra help or the kids need a project to get their attitudes back on track. They do not get a sad face for this one unless I give them a "special" chore that is not optional and they refuse or say they will and then don't do it (a lie). I've never had to give a sad face for a special chore not getting done, BTW. :) ]
-Schoolwork [Not really a chore but they like to get a sticker for it. Chicklet has just started My Father's World Kindergarten and we are simultaneously doing Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, which she's about 1/3 of the way through. Bug pesters me until I let him read a few letter sounds from the first 3 lessons in Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, so we call that his schoolwork. If he forgets to ask me to do it I just "X-cuse" him from it on the chart that day since he's 3 years old and not really "doing school" yet except when I'm humoring him. ;) ]
-Dishes [Chicklet is teaching Bug how to put away the flatware. I'm teaching her how to teach him with gentleness. ;) Both kids like to stack and hand me the similar cups and bowls to put in the upper cabinet. Chicklet can put away most of the lower-cabinet items herself and I'm teaching her how to load the dirty flatware without putting too many of the same item going the same direction in the same hole (which ends up making a dirt-sandwich and not getting clean between them) and where to place certain types of items in the dishwasher (such as plastic in the top rack, pots and pans and cookware in the bottom rack, bottle parts in the bottle part basket...). I work much faster than them at the dishwasher, obviously. So I just go at it as fast as I can while I set them to doing the flatware. If they finish before I'm done I have them stack cups or put away the bottom rack. At this point Bug loses interest and I thank him for his help and excuse him. Chicklet starts loading the flatware and I load the rest. They take turns getting to put in the soap and push the on button so if it's Bug's turn I call him back for that. It's their favorite part of course. Usually they are slow and barely wind up getting the flatware put away before I'm done unloading and reloading everything else but occasionally they're speedy and motivated and get to do alot more. I don't sweat it. I encourage them to pay attention if they get distracted but I don't really mind if they take the whole time to do the flatware at this point. Someday soon Bug will be capable of doing it all by himself and I'll have Chicklet unloading the lower-cabinet things while he does that. And then she'll be old enough to unload and reload most of it herself and I'll have Bug teaching Babykins the flatware and I'll teach him how to load the dirty flatware, and so on. In time.]
-Clean room [Every evening when my DH gets off work, he calls me and tells me he's on his way, so I know to make sure supper's in the works. When he calls I tell the kids that Daddy's on his way and while I work on supper, they clean their toys up. When they tell me they're done I go inspect at my first opportunity. As soon as possible so I don't forget!]
-Supper [If there's anything little kid friendly to do when they're done cleaning their toys up I allow them to help. I put the dishes on the table and Chicklet sets the plates or bowls out and Bug does the flatware. After supper they scrape their dishes and put them in the sink. Chicklet washes the table and Bug washes the chairs.]
-Brush teeth [At bedtime. Because if it's not on the chart, this is the getting ready for bed thing that always gets forgotten!]

So as you can see, most of it at this point is simple hygene and cleaning up after themselves. A few are actually real home chores like the laundry and dishes. Many are just on there because they are things that kids enjoy, like dusting, and kids love to feel helpful and be praised for being helpful. If they're feeling overwhelmed or we're caught up enjoying each other and everyone is being sweet and helpful on their own I make liberal with the X's so it's a light chore day. If they're having an ornery day I make sure they keep on track and do all their chores so they have less time to get into mischeif. Cranky kids are best kept really busy... ;)

I think I've explained it to death but when I'm pregnant my brain has holes like swiss cheese! So if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask and I will answer as soon as I can! :) Thanks for stopping by my little blog today!

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Homeschooling: Preschoolers don't count?

People keep asking if we're "going to" start homeschooling. This year everyone's been pretty nice about it when I say we already are, but when my oldest was 3 I got some pretty rude things said and things that weren't really rude but were said in a rude way, KWIM? All were said to me BY HOMESCHOOLING MOMS. Pretty much in a nutshell they were insinuating that if my kid is only 3 years old it's not REAL homeschooling and that if I WAS doing "real" homeschool with a poor little 3 year old then that's tantamount to child abuse, so either way I shouldn't try to associate with homeschoolers as though I was really a homeschooler. This originally came about when my 3 year old's favorite game of choice was to write lines and lines of random letters and then show me that she'd written "words! She asked (more like begged, hounded, harassed...) me constantly to teach her to read. I subsequently bought 100 Easy Lessons and decided to putter through it at her own pace and join the local homeschool group to start getting to know other parents and get my nerve up and curriculum ideas for whenever she was mature enough to start more subjects and/or a more regular schedule of schooling. After a very rude UNwelcome, I stopped talking about homeschooling to other homeschooling parents I knew, and I changed my mind about joining the local group, possibly until she was the apparently locally acceptable age 7 (isn't that something that depends on the kid? Are all kids exactly the same that some can't possibly be ready before or even after the magical age of 7?), and possibly permanently. I just thought it was a shame that the newbie homeschooling parents are in need of the support and everywhere I turned I was all but laughed at for calling myself a homeschooler when my oldest was only 3.

My parents didn't send me to preschool- I was basically home-preschooled by my Nana, then I went to public K, and then my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me through graduation, so despite having never done it myself I have been on the receiving end of this type of education so I have a pretty good grasp of the basics. Despite having this advantage going into it, I still felt very nervous and inadequate and it would have been nice to have local support from the beginning.
I've been thinking about that and the experience has had the positive effect on me that I now make it a point to go out of my way to encourage those parents of toddlers who are home-preschooling. I always feel like telling them, and the parents who say they could never homeschool their kids because they wouldn't be a good teacher, that they already ARE! They taught their kids how to walk and talk and use the bathroom and sing and say please and a million more things already. Just because it's not in a textbook doesn't mean it's not taught, right? Just because I'm humoring my (then) 3 year old's request to learn to read by allowing her to repeat the first 3 of the 100 Easy Lessons once a month or so does that mean I'm damaging her? Just because someone isn't using a texbook to teach their 3 or 5 or 8+ year old does that also mean that it doesn't count as homeschooling? I don't think so. I think that homeschooling is alot more of a mindset of discipleship, and an environment of constant learning opportunities, than it is a set of rules to be followed. I believe that children are very much individuals and that if you're going at the pace they need to keep learning, and they are not becoming turned-off of schooling or frustrated, then the textbook or lack thereof is irrelevant. They are not little cookies all cut from the same cookie cutter. One child might be walking at 7 months but not verbally adept until 3 years, or vice versa. Likewise some kids may be ready for books early, and some may be ready for some but not others. Some might be mathematically inclined at 3 but unable to have reading lessons really "click" until they are 9 years old. Some like my daughter might not be ready for math but are ready (and begging) to begin working on simple reading skills as toddlers.

How about you? Do you other homeschool moms make it a point to encourage the newbie homeschoolers, even if their kids are still quite little? It could mean the difference between someone giving up in discouragement/chickening out, or giving them the confidence to not give in to the pressures of whatever is the popular way to school at the time (pushing academics early or likewise in the opposite extreme hold back kids regardless of readiness signs) and just going with how their own individual kids learn best. If I had not experienced the rudeness myself then I would probably not have really ever thought about this and could have unconciously someday been laughing (good naturedly on my part and hurtfully on hers) at the young mom of preschoolers for how stressed she seemed to be over something that really is so simple hahaha and forgotten how overwhelming it seemed when I was walking in those shoes and how far a little positive encouragement would have gone. We need to remember to be gracious not only to those who don't homeschool and don't understand why we do, but also to those who are hoping to and starting to homeschool and want the encouragement and mentorship that those who have homeschooled longer can provide. If they are laughed at or mocked by those they aspire to be, how easy to want to quit and become one of the (thankfully rare) moms I have met who used to homeschool and are now bitter toward homeschooling and/or homeschoolers in general. Lets remember our words can build up or tear down and focus on building others up!

Dear New Mama, (Too Much or Unwanted Advice)

(image from photobucket.com)

Dear New Mama,
   Congratulations on your precious new little blessing! I know you're hearing all kinds of advice from everyone right now. Everything you read says something new. Everyone who loves you will want to give you helpful , and even people you don't know will see your precious newborn as a good reason to give you advice. As you're hearing all of these tidbits, some of wisdom and some just born from a need to know it all, it can be hard to know how to respond, to not be hurt or offended or worried by it all. It can be hard not to snap at the well-meaning advice givers that 'I can figure this out on my own thankyouverymuch so leave me alone!' Take a deep breath, say a prayer for grace, and listen with a smile. Then thank them for their opinion, if they persist you can say you will take it home to ponder. Pray and ponder. You can keep the good parts and leave the bad ones. Some advice will be really good and some will be really bad. Something that helped someone else might not help you and vice versa. The best way to weed through it all with a peaceful heart and come out the other side with confidence that you are doing the right thing is to pray and ponder. And most of those advice givers will never know if you take their advice or not.
   Then there are the advice givers who are closer to home. Friends and family. They might follow through to see if you followed their advice. They are a little trickier. They can be frustrating. "Did you ever try what I said...?" Usually they can be handled with a sweetly spoken, 'Yes, thank you for telling me about that! We tried alot of things and what we're doing right now is really working well.' Sometimes though you will have to put your foot down. It won't be easy. Keep in mind that while it is important to preserve the peace within the extended family, it is not to be at the cost of the peace in your own home. If keeping your mom or hubby's dear Auntie happy is causing problems between you and your husband or kids, then something will have to be done about it. There's a little something I like to call the honor order. It means who is at the top of your priorities. When you leave your father and mother and cleave to a spouse you begin a new family so your 'honor order' goes from God-Parents-Siblings-etc. to God-Spouse-Children-etc. Your parents and siblings should still be loved and treated with respect, but now your husband and children come before your other family. If you have to warn off an overzealous family member, keep a few things in mind:
-Pray about it first. God may want you to hold your tongue because He very well may want to resolve it without you. Prayer can go a long way toward resolving it without confrontation or paving the way for it to go over well.
-If you feel that you have no choice but to say something, pray pray pray to keep a right perspective. If it involves your husband's family, pray with him about it that it will go well. Pray in private that if it involves his family that he will feel the need to confront the person himself. It tends to go over better and be resolved faster if the spouse that is related is the one who puts their foot down.
-Anything done not out of love is ineffective for good and probably harmful. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into a confrontation with anger in your heart. Pray for a loving attitude toward the person before you say anything.
-Choose your words carefully so that when you are loooking back on it later, if the loved one in question reacts badly, you will not have any guilt over having said something unnecessarily harsh or petty. A clear concience is a great comfort if there is a rift created over this.
-If it goes well, praise God! If not, pray for healing in the relationship and do not cease praying for it until it happens. God doesn't want us to be estranged from our relatives. God wants us to be at peace, not at war, with those He has given us to and has given to us.

Once upon a time, a certain mama (*ahem.me.ahem*) was having her first baby. This mama's MIL wanted to throw her a baby shower and things got heated. You see, the new mama was idealistic, and picky, in addition to having come from an ultra conservative background. The MIL was much more liberal and in her excitement at planning her first baby shower, wanted to make it really awesome and perfect- her way. The mama and the MIL had different ideas about how it should be done and it came down to a confrontation. I did not The mama *wink* did not pray about it first, spoke hastily, out of frustration and defensiveness, and regretted it. The MIL vented to other family members about how rude and picky the mama was, and the rift got bigger. It was not good.

Yeah I messed up. I should have prayed about it FIRST, looked at my own motives, spoken out of love and not reacted out of defensiveness, and decided what was really important before I made a stink. Thankfully God can work everything out for good, even the screw ups. My MIL and I are friends again and we've both learned a few things about how to relate to each other. I'm thankfully less picky and bossy. Now I didn't say I'm not at all picky or bossy anymore... Lol! So those of you who know me in person don't think I'm trying to pull the wool over on anyone here. ;) I have alot of flaws and I'm sure not perfect!

So if you take anything out of this story, take this:
Be quick to pray, quick to love, quick to look inward for fault, quick to apologize.
Be slow to anger, slow to speak, slow to blame.
If it comes to it, stand by what's right in a clam loving way, apologize for any wrong you've done, and pray that if there is a rift that it will be healed.

Spiritual Warfare

I was in the woods. There were dark skeleton trees surrounding me. The sun peeking through the branches even seemed dim. And there was something up there... in the trees...

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
So many things have happened since Thanksgiving and I wish I could say they were all good. Actually something pretty bad happened to some of my family recently. Not my immediate, hubby and kids, family. I can't tell you who it is and I can't tell you what it was, until it's all sorted out, but it's very much not good.

Before that, we had a brush with identitiy theft, but God caused my hubby to check his bank account almost as soon as the charges were made and despite the bank doing their best to make a nightmare of it, we were not out any money and the inconveniences from the whole thing are fairly minor in retrospect. I do hope they catch the selfish individual who did it. This person went online and ordered a ton of expensive novelty items from a goth store called Hot Topic. I pray that even if the police never catch this thief, that they will be overwhelmed with guilt until they repent and find something more honorable to do with their time and talents.
And before that we were all sick at some point or another for about 2 months. Some of us... *ahem* Some of us were sick for a week once, and some of us were sick for the whole 2 months.

And I had a dream that I was in the woods. The trees were naked and still and the dim sun peeking through the branches didn't warm the atmosphere. There was something up there. Something in the trees. Some sort of larger predatory bird. Many of them, sitting up in the trees, camoflaged, waiting. Waiting to swoop down and pick at the weak. At the first sign of weakness. Just waiting for a chance...

And that's when I knew that all these things that were happeneing were not coincidence. We were under spiritual attack. Some of my family, not my immediate family, still is. But when I had that dream it prompted me to get back on track in my prayer and Bible reading. I've spent nearly an hour every morning reading and praying lately, and I'm ashamed to say that's the most I've ever spent in my life on a regular basis with God. I was close to God as a small child, and by the time I had the self-government to have a specific time with God, I was a struggling teenager wrapped up in my struggles instead of dedicating time to God. I've come to be closer to Him again only since having kids and those of you who are mamas of only littles know that it's hard to get longer than 20 seconds without interruption to do anything. Many of us don't even get to go to the bathroom alone. My usual Bible readings were as many verses as I could get in on the internet before the next kid crisis, and short one liner prayers throughout the day, and finally I would try to pray as I lay exhausted in bed at night and wind up falling asleep a sentence or two into it. But as I determined to have this Sweet Hour Of Prayer every morning, God has allowed the teething (and usually crying) baby, to either sleep in late, or be happy in the Jumperoo while I read. The toddlers make it very difficult but as long as I get after them consistently, it is doable. I fill cups, change Bug's diaper, and bring them breakfast in bed. Then I set the timer for an hour and put it up on their shelf and they are allowed to get out of bed to get a toy to take back to bed, but they must stay, eat, and play on their beds until the timer dings. I make sure that they know this is because Mommy needs some special time with Jesus every morning, and because they know I'm doing this, they often beg me to read the Bible to them after the timer dings and they are allowed to get up.

If you feel that you or your family is under spiritual attack, I strongly encourage you to start or reinstate your own Sweet Hour Of Prayer! Perhaps if you already pray in the morning alone, you may wish to add a Bible and prayer time in the afternoon with your kids or before bed with your husband. Perhaps a prayer group online or with some other couple or some of your close friends. You will have to pray that God will help you to set this time aside for Him, and that He will show you what hour in your day is the one that you will have the least distrtactions. If you are not sure what to read or pray or where to start, I suggest that you just start at the beginning of the New Testament and read a chapter, slowly, letting it sink in, before beginning to pray. Thank God for His provision, for His love, for whatever you hold dear, and then cast all your burdens on Him and let go of them, in faith that He will work everything out for good to those who love Him. A chapter a day and if you feel you have more to glean from it, you can read the same chapter several days in a row until you feel that it has sunk in enough to move on to the next. When you have finished the New Testament, start over, this time at the beginning of Genesis, and you will be amazed how much more meaning the OT has when you are looking at it and thinking "So THAT's why/where/who/what/when..." after reading the NT. If you are having trouble knowing what or how to pray, I recommend purchasing one or more "Powere of a Praying ___" books by Stormie Omartian. I have The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Parent and I use one of the prayers in each as a springboard for my prayers for my family every day. I have gone through both of them several times over and will continue to do so as they are very good ways to launch a prayer for a specific person for a specific need in their life. A great couple's devotional is Night Light by James and Shirley Dobson- don't let the seeming simplisticness of the early questions throw you. It gets deep fast and some of the discussion questions are HARD to actually talk about!

What To Feed The Baby?

Here are some things I feed my beginning eaters. Use your own discretion regarding your child's readiness for certain foods. Different kids are aready for different stuff at different times.
-Egg yolk; to make it easy just fry an egg without breaking the yolk. Cook all the way through. Cool and peel out the disk shaped yolk and give it to baby as a finger food. It's like a little egg yolk cookie and separating the white from the yolk AFTER it's cooked is alot easier and more thorough. These were a favorite with both of my babies from about 7 months on.
-Toast with fruit babyfood spread on it instead of jelly. Jelly is so high in sugar and a nice babyfood fruit puree tastes just as delicious to your baby. I cut the toast in strips, usually about 5 strips per slice, to make it more baby-friendly. Make sure baby can chew well enough to eat toast before trying this out.
-Popcorn; you should NOT give your baby popcorn in it's freshly-popped glory, or if you do not fully understand my explanation here. The popcorn seed explodes it's fluffy white insides out, but the outer hull of the seed is still attached to the side of the popcorn. The hull can get stuck in anyone's throat, adults included, and cause them to choke. IF you ever feed a baby popcorn, you should REMOVE the hull, and anything that looks like it's related to the hull, and ONLY feed the soft fluffy white part to your baby. So if you're watching TV and baby is mooching your popcorn, don't let her stick her hand in the bowl and have at it. Take a kernel and bite off everything but the fluffy white part. The fluffy white part will melt in baby's mouth just exactly like one of those Gerber puffs will so follow the safety instruction for the Gerber puffs when feeding your baby the "modified" popcorn: Only feed to a baby who can sit without assistance, is seated, supervised, can pick small objects up with two fingers, and can chew cheerios and Gerber puffs with no problems. Again, feed your baby popcorn AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. Some babies might be ready for it and some might not be ready until they are 2 or 3. You know your baby so use your noggin. ;)
-Shredded meat. My babies ate finely shredded chicken as soon as they were old enough to pinch food and get it to their mouths. I shredded it hair-fine and then spread it around their plate so they couldn't pick up very much at a time.
-Peas. I buy the frozen kind and then when I want to feed baby some peas I use a little juice strainer to scoop out a good amount. I then run hot water over the strainer full of peas for a minute until the peas are thawed through. When they were first learning to eat before there were many teeth to speak of, I would pinch each pea to break the skin so it would moosh when they bit down instead of sliding down the throat whole. As they got proficient at eating I stopped pinching peas and just dumped the strainer out on their highchair tray and let them have at it.
-Bananas. It's tricky for a little tot to hand onto something as slippery as a little cut piece of banana. And if you give them a whole peeled banana they've squeezed the bottom end into slime long before they ever eat down that far. So I devised a trick for bananas. Cut the banana in half. Take one half, and cut the peel away about an inch down so that there are no floppy peel parts hanging out but the banana is peeled for exactly one inch but has the peel on the rest of it. Now, providing your baby doesn't approach bananas like corn on the cob, they will theoretically be able to hold onto the banana and eat that top 1 inch that is peeled. When they've eaten that inch down you can take it and cut off the peel for another inch down. You'll have to supervise them of course so you can peel further before they start gnawing on the banana peel. ;) Leaving the peel on all but the one inch end protects the banana from being squeezed into oblivion by a tiny tot that doesn't know their own strength yet. ;)

-Cheese. My babies loved cheese so much that if I diced it up they would put too many pieces in their mouth and not chew what they had until their mouth was so full of cheese they could not chew or swallow. So I would just cut a slice slab of cheese off the block that was about 1/3" thick, and then cut that slab into 1/3" sticks. My babies did so much better with those because I gave them one at a time and they would have it in their hand so they were not fascinated by repeatedly grabbing and stuffing tiny dices into their mouths, they were instead fascinated with passing the cheese from hand to hand and examining it from all angles - meanwhile they were chewing the bite they had and not realizing it. Sneaky. Plus it taught them how to take a bite off something in a world where all baby food items are mooshy or finely chopped. ;)

A typical menu for my under 1 year babies was,
BREAKFAST:
YoBaby Yogurt & Organic Banana
OR
Baby oatmeal with Peach Babyfood mixed in
LUNCH:
Peas & Egg Yolks
OR
Veggie Babyfood and Cheese

SNACKS:
Puffs or whatever other Gerber baby snack I had a serious coupon for, Cheerios, Peas, Toast, Rice Rusks, Fruit, Cheese, and/or YoBaby.

SUPPER:
Some variation of what we were having for dinner. I would usually take out some meat and noodles and veggies for the baby before I put whatever sauce or seasoning into the meal for the rest of us. When they were teeny I used babyfood or ground up our meal (minus sauce/spices) in the Magic Bullet, but they love to feed themselves once they can pinch things up so after that I just let them as much as possible.
One thing I learned was that babies don't really mind the repetition, it's us grown ups that do. I have fed my kids a banana or YoBaby for (and later as a side dish to) breakfast almost every day since they were born and they gobbled up their banana this morning like it was ice cream, not like it was something they are tired of. I think there are things they don't like, and they might tolerate them for a while before staging a revolt, but I also think that strategic repetition can get babies who hate a food to like it eventually. Of course that theory did NOT work for my kids with baby cereal. No kidding I tried and tried and you'd have thought I was trying to poison them the way they acted. I could get Chicklet to eat ONLY the oatmeal kind and ONLY if it was mixed with a heavy dose of peach puree, but that only lasted so long before she refused to eat even that. Bug wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole no matter what. But then he pretty much didn't like food at all until... well hey come to think of it he's still not overly fond of food. It's a good day when he finishes one whole meal over the course of the day. He'd rather play with it, which I won't tolerate (another post altogether!) so it's lucky for him I offer lots of snack opportunities if he's only gonna eat 5 bites each time before I have to remove the leftovers to save them from floordom. He's probably healthier than the rest of us with his 5 bites every 2 hours. I read somewhere that grazing is the healthier way to eat...
But I digress... what I was getting at was that we have to be careful not to accidentally make our kids picky by stressing out about giving them more variety lest they get sick of something. I know it's hard, and we get bored seeing the same thing go in their mouth all the time, but really eating alot of a few healthy things is not going to make your kids picky or not picky. But if they see you worrying that they'll reject something because it's the 7th morning in a row that you've fed them some flavor or another of YoBaby, they'll start to pick up on that and think they're supposed to reject it. And if they eat all fruit one day, all protein the next, all starch and dairy the next, and all veggies the 4th day, well then that really is fine. They covered their bases just fine over those 4 days. No big deal.
And another thing I've been thinking on is a mistake I made with Chicklet. I would encourage her to finish her jar of babyfood if she had only 2 bites left and was acting full. I should have just let her stop when she acted full and tossed the 2 bites. Really. She's doing much better at listening to her own fullness cues now than she was 6 months ago, I'm pleased to say. ;) Although tonight we had corn on the cob for dinner and I think ALL of us, Bug included (little mister 5-bites ate almost a whole cob! Yes a whole one! Himself!), got a little carried away just because it was sooooo delicious! So moral of the story, if they're acting full it's best to just throw those last 2 bites away or save them for next time. Better to learn earlier than later how to stop when you're full.




This post is linked up to my Thursday Question! Please go HERE to see the original question and add YOUR post or read others' thoughts on this subject!

Young Families

What A Girl (Mom) Needs
I was reading through some blog posts today, new for today ones and earlier ones... you know sometimes you just can't get to them all at once! In fact I usually can't get to them all at once. ;) Parents know that sometimes it's just not happening. The hubby and kiddos are priority #1 and blogs get squeezed into the cracks, those little 2-second lulls. Well hey if we didn't squeeze blogging into the cracks then there would be no such thing as mommy bloggers would there? ;)
Rabbit trail much?

K so back to where I was going with this! ;) The other day I became frustrated with the cold or downright condescending vibes I get from a few of the large family blogs out there. And the feeling of being underprepared and overwhelmed I share with alot of other moms in "young families." By young families I'm not saying the Mama herself is any particular age. What I mean by that term is that the oldest child of the family is still pretty young. A mom could be 45 with 2 or 3 or 6 kids under 6 years old and I would consider that a 'young family' because what I mean by young in that term is that it hasn't been so very many years since the couple decided to "start a family." Make sense? :) I wrote THIS blog post, pretty much begging for some encouragement for us "young families" after those thoughts went a-swirling around in my head for (*lets see, how old are my kids now?*) about 3 1/2 years. Since writing it I've been thinking about even more and since it was so much on my mind today I decided to share a few blog posts I found that relate. :)

First of all, I found THIS post that put into words perfectly just what I was trying to say it is that us "young family" mamas need: encouragement. I know the post is technically about encouraging your hubby, but it goes for anyone I think. Husbands, children, friends, even strangers... Encouragement gives strength to the weak and hope to those in the depths of despair. Encouragement is to people what super premium gas is to cars!

Then I was reading a blog I much enjoy HERE and her post really touched me as being a cry for Biblical mentorship along the same lines as the one I had just posted. I got tears in my eyes when I read it because it's what I feel too. It's what so many young family Mamas feel.

And finally, I am ending on an encouraging note! (Pun intended- yeah I know I'm easily amused.) A dear mom of many has posted a sweet bit of just such encouragement right HERE! Just for us moms of younger littles! If your kids are younger, whether you plan to have more or not, I think this post will be encouraging to you! It was to me and I'm so thankful she posted it.

Large Family Bloggers - a call to stand in the gap!

I really love to read about large family logistics. I love reading blogs by moms of many! I have, however, noticed a discouraging gap in support for those who, like me, are the first generation to even think about letting God plan their family and are at the stage of only having toddlers, newborns, and buns in the oven. ;) It's so discouraging to go to large family blogs and find a few that seem to have this condescending air toward moms that don't yet have more than 4 or 5 kids as though they are not serious or are so pathetic for being so lost with so few kids. Or to blogs by moms who are purposely done with having kids by the 2nd or 3rd child and some have this attitude like 'Hey, if you were dumb enough to get pregnant again then you deserve to be run ragged.' There are many more blogs by women who seem to love the Lord than I had thought, and was again surprised to find that among all those there is surprisingly so little compassion and advice for the young growing family. Nobody tells you when you have 2 or 3 toddlers hanging off your ankles and are 6 months pregnant what you could be doing to help things go more smoothly or validates that there are unique challenges when you don't have any older kids or relatives to help out. You hear the "Give the older ones chores and have them help with the littles!" or "Let your family help you!" or "Combine preplannable tasks with friends!" but what if you don't have any of those options? What if there are no nearby likeminded people, no close family, and no older kids?
Speaking as a mom of a 1.5 year old, 3.5 year old and a bun in the oven, I feel like how can I hope for God to bless us with more children when I feel like I fail so very much in being organized and together with the ones I've got? I can't keep the house clean and have to start getting everyone ready 2-3 hours in advance to get anywhere on time. I try so hard and my kids are such sweethearts but they are toddlers (therefore messy, loud, and needy) and I have no family nearby, we have tried countless churches and left disheartened at the overwhelmingness of a church so large that you never see the same person twice, let alone fellowship! Or in smaller churches by the blatant sin and lack of love for the Lord. My nearest friend who doesn't work outside the home lives an hour away and has 3 kids 3 and under herself. I'm the only woman I know who wears a headcovering. I get dirty looks from strangers and aquaintances if my kids so much as step one toe out of line, and I have no mentors to turn to. For those in my boat it would be SO heartening if someone who has been there would validate that it's not supposed to be a smooth cakewalk when you are raising only babies and toddlers. That this is a stage of life and it has it's unique challenges, and that those challenges will get easier later as new ones begin- rather than it just getting more and more impossible and out of control with each child. That of course when you have 2 kids in diapers and one potty training and you're the only adult home to change or remind them it is going to take time and patience. That it's not a failure when you have a child going through a phase and your days are spent teaching and character training so your carpets don't get vaccumed as much and the sink is full of dirty dishes. It is the most heartbreakingly discouraging thing to be pouring your heart and soul into praying for your husband and children and loving, teaching, training, disciplining, and building up your children and then to have someone who seems so together and perfect come along and make you feel like you're going to hell (and pointing your babies that way) because you didn't wash dishes before bed between nursing sick kids and being "morning sick" yourself and listening to hubby tell about his day, or dinner last night came out of a box or can instead of made from fresh produce from the garden and wheat you ground yourself, or your living room looks like the toybox exploded. When that happens it really does so much for Satan's cause to discourage a young family from continuing to leave it up to God, out of fear of somehow wronging the babies they already have. Nothing says, "You won't make it. You aren't a fit parent. You should just give up now. We don't want you in our club. God doesn't want parents like you reproducing. You're dragging your kids down. You're a bad example to other parents." like someone who has been there and should be helpful and compassionate instead showing disgust for those problems that are so "beneath them" now.

So to those who are in the same boat as I am, with having only toddlers and under (whether you feel called to have more or not- it's still a tough age!), keep your eyes on Jesus! It may seem like things can only get crazier, and there is little Godly advice for us specifically, I know, but remember they don't stay little forever! As much as your overwhelmed tears are crying out that things are out of control and you can't do it, please keep in mind that no, we can't do it, but we can ask for the strength and wisdom from the One who can! We are not here to please other mothers, we are here to please our Creator. He won't give us blessings that He won't help us raise for Him if we keep our eyes on the goal! **HUGS**

And to my friends and acquaintances who are mom-of-many bloggers, this post is NOT an accusation! This is not to call someone out or make you think I'm pouting about being done wrong. Of the bloggers whom I have noticed the condescending trend among and I don't think any of them know I exist, let alone read my blog. The purpose of this post is to show a need and ask for help. If you have any advice or encouragement for those of us in this gap, then please share it! Please write blog posts that contain tips for young families too! Please encourage us and build us up! This can be such a fragile stage and you can be such a tool of God for encouragement and hope. Your words can make or break a newly budding conviction to leave the family planning to God. You have experience and even though I'm sure you don't have a magic formula written down somewhere for raising perfect kids, what you DO have is the chance to point the flashlight in the right direction for someone who is standing in the dark. So keep up the great work posting about large family logistics, and, if next time you're writing about meal planning you think of something that could help those with only toddlers, please mention it! It's wonderful to share big family meal strategies, but if you want to mention something you used to do that took stress off Mom and pleased both the hardworking hubby and the toothless tot crowd, please share! :) I look so forward to reading your posts about large family living, and would look forward to it even moreso (if that's possible! ;) ) if I thought there might be a tip in there that applies my budding family too.