My sweet sweet girl is 3 years old! Oh how time flies! I remember the day she was born...
I was
due September 29th 2006.
August 9th was a full moon and it threw me into false labor for a week.
Then September 7th was a full moon and it again threw me into labor starting on the 8th which was a Friday. I had contractions 4-13 minutes apart for about 20 hours a day for over a week they would die down between midnight and 5:00am and be calm for a few hours until I got up in the morning at which point they'd start again. Sometimes that's how I'd wake up in the morning. The would be barely painful for most of the day and then toward evening they would get really painful to where I'd stop what I was doing and grit my teeth through them.
Saturday, September 16th:
Finally after over a week of this, on Saturday the 16th I was awakened as usual with contractions that were pretty painful. Not as bad as they got later in labor of course, but at the time they were enough to make me cry. I have the lowest pain tolerence level of anyone I've ever heard of though. I'm a world-class WIMP. It was like 4am. I tried to go back to sleep but I was restless. Around 7:00am I went to the bathroom and there was my bloody show. I was so excited! Finally this baby was coming out and I would get to meet her! I was so so so tired of carrying her around inside me 24-7. I wanted to be able to SEE her and touch her and be able to put her down once in a while for a change! Lol! I called my midwife to let her know and she said that I would probably have a baby within 24 hours now that I've had my bloody show. She said to call when the contractions got regular and lasted a minute long. I think she was surprised since it was 13 days before my due date. I called my family to let them know it would be within the next couple days and to ask my sis how long it was from when she got her bloody show until she gave birth. About 24 hours: bloody show one night and baby the next night she said. Who knew I'd have her nearly 2 weeks early? First timers usually go overdue not under, or so I've heard. Not that I was complaining! Lol!
I shaved, got my last minute items like my postpartum supplies from
Earth Mama Angel Baby and chapstick that I used every day packed in my bags, made sure I had sweats to come home in that wouldn't hurt my newly-empty tummy, readied a pile of blankets to sit on in the car in case my water broke in the car or if for reason something happened and we didn't make it and I had the baby in the car. I didn't really think it would happen but better safe than sorry, right? I made sure there were diapers and sleepers in the diaper bag and the carseat was full of soft little blankies and snapped into the car. My husband made sure the pets' food and water was full in case we were gone long. I pulled out some last minute things in the nursery, like desitin and swaddling blankets, so everything would be ready for baby. Then I laid out a comfy outfit to labor in that I could bring or put on in advance depending on how I felt. I was totally in nesting mode and cleaned up the house while I was at it, stopping to breathe through the contractions.
My sweet Kady-dog (a pit bull- no the things they say about pit bulls are NOT true! She was the best dog ever, so gentle and sweet!) must have known I was in labor or something. Ever since she woke up that morning she'd been practically glued to my side. I'd go to the kitchen to eat, she would follow and lay on the kitchen rug while I made food. I'd go use the bathroom, she would lay outside the door until I came out and then follow me back to wherever. I tried to take a nap several times, and each time she followed me and layed right beside the bed until I got up. My husband kept calling her trying to get her to play fetch or something and she would go sniff him for two seconds and then come running back to lay on my feet! I couldn't take a step without tripping on her!
She was just acting too weird. She MUST have known I was in labor and that's why she was being all concerned and clingy! It was actually sweet I think, and kind of cute!
All day and all night I was plagued by contractions 4-13 minutes apart lasting anywhere from 20 seconds to a minute and a half. I was in that state of "sleep" where you really aren't asleep all night. Where you know what's going on around you but you aren't really a part of it. I was in too much pain to fall all the way to sleep and too tired to wake all the way up. Until around 4:00am on Sunday when the contractions were unbearable.
Sunday, September 17th:
I would flail around in bed holding my breath and making dying animal sounds during the contractions. I thought someone was sawing through my spine. Stupid back labor. My husband started pushing on my spine, the counter-pressure on my back helped the pain immensely. We kept timing the contractions.
5:10am- A particularly strong contraction hit. It squeezed so hard that the counter-pressure did nothing for it. I moaned and saw stars, thrashing around in the bed in agony and inside me, Baby Chicklet didn't like being squeezed that hard and started thrashing around too. When she jumped inside me it broke my water. I felt this POP and instantly the contraction started to fade and I said to my husband that my water broke and I needed to make a run for the bathroom because when I stood up it was going to gush out. So I rolled to the edge and ran to the bathroom. Surprisingly I made it all the way to the tile floor before amniotic fluid started running down my legs.
5:30am- Contractions were still 4-13 minutes apart. I was miserable but excited to see my baby. I decided that the contractions had been 4-13 minutes apart lasting anywhere from 20 seconds to a minute and a half for the last 10 days straight and I was just not a regularly timed contraction type of girl.
Just before 6:00am- I called "midwife M" and told her I'm not going to have regular contractions, and that my water had broke. She said to meet her at the birth center in 1 1/2 hours and in the mean time I should take a bath to ease the pain. Ugh!
The bath didn't help. I still had to holler for hubby to put pressure on my back during contractions even in the warm bath water. Counter pressure didn't help anymore. It felt like a giant shark was biting me in half with every contraction. I wouldn't wish back labor on my worst enemy.
I think my water breaking sent me into more painful contractions super fast; it went from me thinking it was unbearable pain even in the bathtub to getting out of the tub to get dressed and throwing up from the pain. The water breaking didn't make the contractions regular, it just made them hurt more. Nearing time to leave for the 45 minute drive to the birthing center I started pacing the living room at warp speed. I must have done a hundred laps. Meanwhile my husband had put everything I needed in the car except me, and I was refusing to go. It hurt too bad when I was still. I was throwing up from the pain. (See, I told you I was a world-class wimp!) No way was I sitting in the car where I would be strapped in unable to pace. I was TERRIFIED. My poor husband was following me around and around the living room begging me to get in the car now so we could leave. Finally he got me into the car, complete with a bucket to puke in. Which I did need to make use of a couple minutes into the trip, unfortunately. Surprisingly the car was so relaxing and by the time we got there I didn't want to get OUT of the car! I asked hubby if he'd just drive around for a while until I had the baby. Lol!
About 7:50am?- Finally got out of the car and into the birthing center. Midwife M checked me and I was dialated to a 4. So I paced around for a while. Midwife M kept trying to get me to sit on the exercise ball and lean my head on a pile of pillows, but I really could not stay still during contractions. They just hurt too bad. So I'd be on the ball until the contraction got bad and I would jump up off the ball and start pacing again. I was reciting The Lord's Prayer during contractions as I paced because I needed something to focus on and I knew the only One who could get me through this much pain was God! Plus my brain was too fogged with agony to think of my own prayer. I just knew I needed help so I recited the only prayer I could think of.
Almost 9am?- Pacing. Lord's Prayer. So much pain. My dear husband had stopped trying to help me with counter pressure because it just didn't help anymore. There's nothing short of getting run over by a MAC truck that would have pushed hard enough for me to notice by this point. I paused my pacing to look at my poor husband who was watching me worriedly, and I asked 'where's my epidural?!" His eyes got huge like he wondered if I was going to run across the room and attack him, so I smiled and said, "I'm just joking silly, it was just a joke!" At whick he gave me a sort of half-smile, eyes still huge, maybe still waiting for me to snap. Yeah he'd heard the stories of women in labor trying to murder the man who helped get them that way so I think he was expecting me to try to cut something off. Then the contraction was too unbearable to stay still anymore so I resumed pacing.
Around 9:30am?- Midwife M checked me again. I started freaking out because it HURT when she was in there during a contraction, and by now the contractions were almost on top of each other. She said I would be a 6 if I could relax but my freaking out contracted my cervix back down to a 4. I'm thinking Relax?! What is this woman thinking?! She said as soon as I am a 7 or so She will let me get in the jacuzzi to help with the pain but tht it's too soon now or it might stall my labor. I tried to relax and something must have worked because around 10am I was feeling a pushing urge. My body was literally pushing by itself. I was trying to stop it but it would not stop. It hurt really bad too! So I wandered out to the reception area and asked midwife M why my body was doing this jerking thing like it was trying to push and how to stop it because it HURT! She seemed very surprised and said, "well if you're feeling a pushing urge I'd better check you again!" So she did and we were all very surprised. In half an hour I'd gone from a 4-6 to a 9!! She said I'm so close, almost there and I guess it was too late for me to be in the jacuzzi for a bit because she started setting up the birthing stool at warp speed! I was in so much pain I forgot the words to the prayer I'd been saying nonstop for hours. I was hanging off the bathroom doorjamb staring unseeing in agony saying the first line of the Lords Prayer and then stopping and starting to cry because I was so tired and in so much pain I couldn't remember the words. Then midwife M came over to me and took my hands and said it with me, helping me to remember the words. She told me my breathing was great, that I was getting lots of oxygen to the baby and to keep breathing, it's almost time. Then I couldn't stop myself from pushing anymore. I just couldn't stop. I told midwife M that I couldn't stop it anymore I can't do it and I can't stay standing anymore I'm too tired. Her and my husband helped me onto the birthing stool and midwife M told me that during the next contraction I could begin to push. I didn't really want to that first time because I thought it would surely hurt worse than anything. I'd heard stories where they say that's the worst part. And as bad as it hurt when my body was pushing of it's own accord, how much mroe must it hurt if I TRY to push? But once I started pushing I was surprised at how much the pain lessened. Or would have been surprised if I was capable at that point. By this time I'd been in so much pain for so long I was having an out of body experience. I was not grounded at all. I fell like I was floating around the vicinity of my body but not in it. A few pushes later the head began to come through the cervix, and then the door opened and in came two young giggling midwives. I was upset. They had disrupted my concentration and peace. They were strangers to me. I'd had like 1 or 2 appointments with each of them so I barely knew them and I started hollering and freaking out to get them out of here. But midwife M scolded me and I retreated back into my hazy out of body experience, pushing. They tried listening to the baby's heart with the doppler and I freaked out again. Not because they were trying to listen for the baby, but because they were trying to push me backwards, leaning back, to be able to reach the baby's heart, and it was all I could do to stay upright at all by this point, let alone try to keep my balance while leaning back. Not to mention it hurt to get out of position with the baby coming down the birth canal. And I instinctually knew the baby was fine. I wanted to scream at them that she is fine and to stop hurting me and wasting time, but I didn't have the energy. So I pushed like mad. I pushed so hard that it was all of 3 or 4 pushes before she was crowning. I had my eyes closed most of the pushing time but opened them as three excited midwives were telling me to reach down and feel my baby's head as she comes out, and I angrily snapped that TRUST ME I feel every inch and not with my hand! I glanced at my husband who was perched in front of me on the edge of the jacuzzi with his eyes fixed on the emerging head of his first child, and he was wiping away tears with a smile of awe. I closed my eyes and went back to work. One more good puswh was all it took. Once her head was out the rest of her just slid out with no effort on my part. 10:27am on September 17th, 2006
I looked down and there on a pile of towels beneath me was a tiny baby girl. A beautiful tiny baby girl. She looked up at me and let out an indignant squawk! And there was a waterfall of blood. So much blood. I heard the distant echoes of three midwives, the hint of panick in one voice. One voice giving orders. I didn't understand the words. Midwife M tried to hand me my baby but the cord was so short I was holding her against my pubic bone - that was all the farther the cord would reach. So the midwife cut the cord and then handed her back to me. I stared down with no emotion at the child whose wide open eyes had not left mine from the moment of her birth, and felt nothing except a dull dissappointment that apparently I was dying and would not get to know her, to see her grow up. I thought, "Ohhh I had to go through all that hard work and don't even get to feel a bond with her?" I felt a needle stab in my left hip and then everyone sat back and held their breath. And the bleeding slowed. The voices were relieved and happy now. My hands were shaking so bad from exhaustion I hoped I would not drop the baby.
The midwives and my husband got a giant silly diaper on me quick as a wink and then carried me to the bed a few feet away. I was only in bed for like 5 minutes before the diaper was overflowing with blood so they helped me to the bathroom to change it the first of many times before I went home. (I didn't know a person could loose so much sleep, sanity, and blood all in 24 hours and then look into the tiny face of a child and be totally refreshed.) I was only in there for a minute. When I sat on the toilet more blood started gushing out and it scared me, so I peed and they gave me a new diaper and I dragged myself back to bed ASAP. In bed I held my tiny baby and finally realized I was back to earth. I finally saw her. Really SAW her! She was so pink and healthy! But her and the blanket she was wrapped in were sploched with my blood. Her hair was sticky with amniotic fluid. I have to tell you as soon as her tiny mouth latched onto my nipple all that love and motherly feelings that I thought would be there the instant I saw her, finally came rushing in. She was the most adorable thing in the world all naked and slimy and wet looking up at me with her tiny trusting baby eyes! Her fist clenched and unclenched against my breast and she would stop sucking and then root around looking for the nipple again all floppy-headed and weak, never taking her eyes off mine. So adorable! I almost didn't want my midwife to wash her off because she was just so perfectly adorable all slimy! Lol! I was half-sitting in bed with her on my tummy wrapped in a receiving blanket, and the bed blankets over us both. Then she peed on me. LOL! Thank you dear Chicklet!
We went home 5 hours after her exodus from Wombville. I was so exhausted but could not sleep there in that big soft bed. Oh no I have to sleep in my own bed. I am not the kind of person that can sleep anywhere. I have to have my own bed. So as soon as baby and I were declared healthy, we left. We stopped by my husband's grandma's house on the way home. It's like 2 blocks from the birthing center. They reached in the car window and petted her tiny hands and then we went home and I had a nice long nap with my sweet little baby.
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February '07 - 5 months old:
April 2007 - 7 months old:
June & July '07 - 9 & 10 months old:
August 2007 - 11 months old:
January 2008 - 15 months old:
April to July 2008 - 18 to 20 months old:
August 2008 - 23 months old:
Here it is 3 whole years later! Oh my! How is it possible for 3 years to go by so fast?
