A little encouragement if you have "all littles:"
http://raisingolives.com/2010/07/does-get-easier/
A good list of kids' chores by age:
http://www.raisingarrows.net/2011/08/age-appropriate-chore-list/
The reason I won't go back on The Pill:
http://comefillyourcup.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/questions-and-answers-what-about-the-use-of-birth-control-pills/
Good thoughts about raising men!
http://400things.blogspot.com/2011/09/on-men.html
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Chores for 3 and 4 Year Olds
We've recently revamped the chores. My oldest, who is almost 5, was asking for a sticker chart for her chores, my almost 3 year old was starting to show signs of laziness and trying to get by on his sister doing all the work, and I was thinking that I really need to get them into a routine of things we do every day. Before this, chores looked like this:
Mama runs around house like chicken with it's head cut off and gives kids random errands, then gets frustrated having to stop and reteach them how to do errand x since it's been 3 weeks since the last time I gave them that particular job. Mama throws up hands and thinks to self, "Now if only I could remember to make them do errand x every day and had the time to reteach it often enough that they did it as a habit and needed less supervising and nagging!"
The Chart
After grabbing spare moments to fiddle around with making a chart, I came up with this one:
This one is my daughter's chart. We're a bit unloyal with the type of stickers, as you can see. Lol! We use whatever they feel like sticking on there for that particular chore. My drawings are not very spectacular but they serve the purpose of helping non-readers remember what needs doing. If they get less than 10 sad faces in a week, they get to pick an item from the dollar tree. As you can see, there are no sad faces this week so far!
They get an X through an item that Mama has excused them from doing on that day. Some rare days we might not have alot of dishes or laundry at the time of day when I can supervise their assistance with these things so I X-cuse (haha) them from that item that day and save it for the next day if it can wait that long or for after they go to bed if it can't. Sometimes I have a prenatal appointment in the afternoon, which kind of reshapes our entire day. We don't usually do school or much for chores on those days, so many items on the list get an X on those days. We don't do chore chores on Sundays for religious reasons, so everything gets an X but the hygene and caring for the stuff we own that could harm someone if left out. Aka toys all over the floor pose a hazard so if they get them out then they will clean them up before bed so Mama doesn't fall when I take the baby in to her crib in the dark after they've fallen asleep.
At the end of the day, if there was anything that they had opportunity and reminder to do and decided to goof off or refuse to do it or throw a distraction at me or a tantrum or any other reason why they COULD and SHOULD have done it and yet did not... then they get a sad face drawn on that square instead of a sticker. At the end of the week we count sad faces and if they got 9 or less sad faces then we get them each a treat that costs a dollar or less. Sometimes it's a sucker or a chocolate or a toy from Dollar Tree. Now, it might be good to note that a couple months ago when we started this new chart, they could get alot more sad faces. This is because they were not used to doing these things often enough to know how to do them all so I was spending hours a day following them around and teaching them these things, building the habits. I wasn't able to spend my entire day doing nothing but chore training and that would have been overwhelming for the kids as well, so there were alot more X's and alot more :('s on our charts back then. It was a process. I decide how many sad faces are acceptable based on my kids' abilities. When learning new chores there are bound to be more of them that the child will try and not be able to do yet and will be frustrated and have a meltdown instead of putting in the effort anyway. (They don't get a sad face if they put forth the effort until I help or excuse them, only if they quit trying and pitch a fit.) I didn't want to punish them for not being able to do something, but I felt it was important to demonstrate that having a meltdown in frustration was a "sad face." So I found a balance that worked for my family by allowing for enough sad faces each week that their overall goal by the end of the week was never unattainable due to frustration in learning new chores. As their abilities increase, their sad face limit decreases accordingly, so that they only wind up penalized at the end of the week (forfeiting their reward) for actual laziness or rebellion rather than childish frustration over inability to do a chore yet.
The Chores
Chicklet will be 5 years old next week, Bug turned 3 years old in August, and we've been working with these new charts since I think about mid-July. Here is a list of what they each are supposed to do for chores on a regular weekday. There are 13 rows on the one in the picture. I have scribbled in a 14th row at the bottom. I've edited my master copy on my computer but have not printed a new chart out since I made that change, so future charts will have 14 chores worth of rows.
-Breakfast [This means that if I've set out bowls of oats or cereal the night before, Chicklet pours the milk for her and Bug and gets them each a spoon. Sometimes I do this and sometimes I get it for them in the morning, like if breakfast will be leftover fruit, or eggs, or something else that won't sit out all night. I also don't allow her the option of handling the milk jug if it is more than 1/3 full because it's too heavy for a 4 year old to control. Regardless, both kids must scrape any soggy leftovers into the trash and put their bowl and utensil into the sink after they are done eating.]
-Brush teeth [I still have to help Bug with his, and I still check Chicklet's after she's done.]
-Brush hair [Chicklet has very long hair and I'm teaching her how to brush it herself. She doesn't have the hang of it yet. That's okay. She'll get it eventually. It's hard to brush long hair! The baby and Bug like to comb their own hair and both have short enough hair that it doesn't really need anything done with it so I praise them for the effort.]
-Make beds [Bug needs alot of help with his- I pretty much do it for him and then have him help me straighten the wrinkles out. Chicklet has no top sheet, just a comforter, so she can do it herself. When teaching her how, I verbally directed her to pull the comforter off the bed by grabbing one side/end of the blanket and then to walk backward onto the bed pulling the blanket back onto the bed from the opposite side/end it was drug off by. Her mattress is on the floor right now so there is no headboard or footboard to make things difficult, and she has very little if any trouble making her bed alone now. I can tell her to go do it now and then go check it after she's done.]
-Trash/Toilet Paper [Chicklet gets the 3 little bitty bedroom and office trashes and dumps the contents into one of the big trash cans in either the bathroom or kitchen. Bug opens the little TP cabinet that holds 5 rolls and fills it if it is needed. Sometimes he likes to stack the rolls and knock them over like block towers a few times before he puts them in there. ;) He's 3 and he doesn't horse around for too long and always gets them in there after he's done being silly so I humor him.]
-Dust [I give each kid a dry rag to wipe surfaces with. I'm not really concerned about dusting but I praise them like crazy and they think they are so helpful and it's so much fun to dust so that's why it's on here. At least this way my house kind of sort of gets dusted. If it were left up to me I'd dust once a year...]
-Laundry [Chicklet is learning how to fold socks. She can do washcloths and underwear and hand towels/dish towels also. She hangs up her play clothes and puts away her socks and undies. Bug is learning how to fold the washcloths. He's not as meticulous about it as his sister. ;) ]
-Lunch [Usually a PB&J so their job is to wipe up the crumbs afterward. Occasionally it's leftovers so then they scrape the bits into the trash afterward and put their bowl and utensil in the sink.]
-Special [This one is here in case they do something special that I need done that day so they can have a place to put a sticker for it. Sometimes I'll have Chicklet clean up the baby's toys or Bug washes the front door or a wall with a spray bottle of water and a rag. Sometimes something else. Usually with Chicklet it's something I need done that she can do unsupervised, and with Bug it's a project I think he will enjoy and feel helpful doing while I do schoolwork with big sis. We don't have a "special" chore every day or even most days, but it's there in case I need extra help or the kids need a project to get their attitudes back on track. They do not get a sad face for this one unless I give them a "special" chore that is not optional and they refuse or say they will and then don't do it (a lie). I've never had to give a sad face for a special chore not getting done, BTW. :) ]
-Schoolwork [Not really a chore but they like to get a sticker for it. Chicklet has just started My Father's World Kindergarten and we are simultaneously doing Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, which she's about 1/3 of the way through. Bug pesters me until I let him read a few letter sounds from the first 3 lessons in Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, so we call that his schoolwork. If he forgets to ask me to do it I just "X-cuse" him from it on the chart that day since he's 3 years old and not really "doing school" yet except when I'm humoring him. ;) ]
-Dishes [Chicklet is teaching Bug how to put away the flatware. I'm teaching her how to teach him with gentleness. ;) Both kids like to stack and hand me the similar cups and bowls to put in the upper cabinet. Chicklet can put away most of the lower-cabinet items herself and I'm teaching her how to load the dirty flatware without putting too many of the same item going the same direction in the same hole (which ends up making a dirt-sandwich and not getting clean between them) and where to place certain types of items in the dishwasher (such as plastic in the top rack, pots and pans and cookware in the bottom rack, bottle parts in the bottle part basket...). I work much faster than them at the dishwasher, obviously. So I just go at it as fast as I can while I set them to doing the flatware. If they finish before I'm done I have them stack cups or put away the bottom rack. At this point Bug loses interest and I thank him for his help and excuse him. Chicklet starts loading the flatware and I load the rest. They take turns getting to put in the soap and push the on button so if it's Bug's turn I call him back for that. It's their favorite part of course. Usually they are slow and barely wind up getting the flatware put away before I'm done unloading and reloading everything else but occasionally they're speedy and motivated and get to do alot more. I don't sweat it. I encourage them to pay attention if they get distracted but I don't really mind if they take the whole time to do the flatware at this point. Someday soon Bug will be capable of doing it all by himself and I'll have Chicklet unloading the lower-cabinet things while he does that. And then she'll be old enough to unload and reload most of it herself and I'll have Bug teaching Babykins the flatware and I'll teach him how to load the dirty flatware, and so on. In time.]
-Clean room [Every evening when my DH gets off work, he calls me and tells me he's on his way, so I know to make sure supper's in the works. When he calls I tell the kids that Daddy's on his way and while I work on supper, they clean their toys up. When they tell me they're done I go inspect at my first opportunity. As soon as possible so I don't forget!]
-Supper [If there's anything little kid friendly to do when they're done cleaning their toys up I allow them to help. I put the dishes on the table and Chicklet sets the plates or bowls out and Bug does the flatware. After supper they scrape their dishes and put them in the sink. Chicklet washes the table and Bug washes the chairs.]
-Brush teeth [At bedtime. Because if it's not on the chart, this is the getting ready for bed thing that always gets forgotten!]
So as you can see, most of it at this point is simple hygene and cleaning up after themselves. A few are actually real home chores like the laundry and dishes. Many are just on there because they are things that kids enjoy, like dusting, and kids love to feel helpful and be praised for being helpful. If they're feeling overwhelmed or we're caught up enjoying each other and everyone is being sweet and helpful on their own I make liberal with the X's so it's a light chore day. If they're having an ornery day I make sure they keep on track and do all their chores so they have less time to get into mischeif. Cranky kids are best kept really busy... ;)
I think I've explained it to death but when I'm pregnant my brain has holes like swiss cheese! So if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask and I will answer as soon as I can! :) Thanks for stopping by my little blog today!
This post is linked at
>
Mama runs around house like chicken with it's head cut off and gives kids random errands, then gets frustrated having to stop and reteach them how to do errand x since it's been 3 weeks since the last time I gave them that particular job. Mama throws up hands and thinks to self, "Now if only I could remember to make them do errand x every day and had the time to reteach it often enough that they did it as a habit and needed less supervising and nagging!"
The Chart
After grabbing spare moments to fiddle around with making a chart, I came up with this one:
They get an X through an item that Mama has excused them from doing on that day. Some rare days we might not have alot of dishes or laundry at the time of day when I can supervise their assistance with these things so I X-cuse (haha) them from that item that day and save it for the next day if it can wait that long or for after they go to bed if it can't. Sometimes I have a prenatal appointment in the afternoon, which kind of reshapes our entire day. We don't usually do school or much for chores on those days, so many items on the list get an X on those days. We don't do chore chores on Sundays for religious reasons, so everything gets an X but the hygene and caring for the stuff we own that could harm someone if left out. Aka toys all over the floor pose a hazard so if they get them out then they will clean them up before bed so Mama doesn't fall when I take the baby in to her crib in the dark after they've fallen asleep.
At the end of the day, if there was anything that they had opportunity and reminder to do and decided to goof off or refuse to do it or throw a distraction at me or a tantrum or any other reason why they COULD and SHOULD have done it and yet did not... then they get a sad face drawn on that square instead of a sticker. At the end of the week we count sad faces and if they got 9 or less sad faces then we get them each a treat that costs a dollar or less. Sometimes it's a sucker or a chocolate or a toy from Dollar Tree. Now, it might be good to note that a couple months ago when we started this new chart, they could get alot more sad faces. This is because they were not used to doing these things often enough to know how to do them all so I was spending hours a day following them around and teaching them these things, building the habits. I wasn't able to spend my entire day doing nothing but chore training and that would have been overwhelming for the kids as well, so there were alot more X's and alot more :('s on our charts back then. It was a process. I decide how many sad faces are acceptable based on my kids' abilities. When learning new chores there are bound to be more of them that the child will try and not be able to do yet and will be frustrated and have a meltdown instead of putting in the effort anyway. (They don't get a sad face if they put forth the effort until I help or excuse them, only if they quit trying and pitch a fit.) I didn't want to punish them for not being able to do something, but I felt it was important to demonstrate that having a meltdown in frustration was a "sad face." So I found a balance that worked for my family by allowing for enough sad faces each week that their overall goal by the end of the week was never unattainable due to frustration in learning new chores. As their abilities increase, their sad face limit decreases accordingly, so that they only wind up penalized at the end of the week (forfeiting their reward) for actual laziness or rebellion rather than childish frustration over inability to do a chore yet.
The Chores
Chicklet will be 5 years old next week, Bug turned 3 years old in August, and we've been working with these new charts since I think about mid-July. Here is a list of what they each are supposed to do for chores on a regular weekday. There are 13 rows on the one in the picture. I have scribbled in a 14th row at the bottom. I've edited my master copy on my computer but have not printed a new chart out since I made that change, so future charts will have 14 chores worth of rows.
-Breakfast [This means that if I've set out bowls of oats or cereal the night before, Chicklet pours the milk for her and Bug and gets them each a spoon. Sometimes I do this and sometimes I get it for them in the morning, like if breakfast will be leftover fruit, or eggs, or something else that won't sit out all night. I also don't allow her the option of handling the milk jug if it is more than 1/3 full because it's too heavy for a 4 year old to control. Regardless, both kids must scrape any soggy leftovers into the trash and put their bowl and utensil into the sink after they are done eating.]
-Brush teeth [I still have to help Bug with his, and I still check Chicklet's after she's done.]
-Brush hair [Chicklet has very long hair and I'm teaching her how to brush it herself. She doesn't have the hang of it yet. That's okay. She'll get it eventually. It's hard to brush long hair! The baby and Bug like to comb their own hair and both have short enough hair that it doesn't really need anything done with it so I praise them for the effort.]
-Make beds [Bug needs alot of help with his- I pretty much do it for him and then have him help me straighten the wrinkles out. Chicklet has no top sheet, just a comforter, so she can do it herself. When teaching her how, I verbally directed her to pull the comforter off the bed by grabbing one side/end of the blanket and then to walk backward onto the bed pulling the blanket back onto the bed from the opposite side/end it was drug off by. Her mattress is on the floor right now so there is no headboard or footboard to make things difficult, and she has very little if any trouble making her bed alone now. I can tell her to go do it now and then go check it after she's done.]
-Trash/Toilet Paper [Chicklet gets the 3 little bitty bedroom and office trashes and dumps the contents into one of the big trash cans in either the bathroom or kitchen. Bug opens the little TP cabinet that holds 5 rolls and fills it if it is needed. Sometimes he likes to stack the rolls and knock them over like block towers a few times before he puts them in there. ;) He's 3 and he doesn't horse around for too long and always gets them in there after he's done being silly so I humor him.]
-Dust [I give each kid a dry rag to wipe surfaces with. I'm not really concerned about dusting but I praise them like crazy and they think they are so helpful and it's so much fun to dust so that's why it's on here. At least this way my house kind of sort of gets dusted. If it were left up to me I'd dust once a year...]
-Laundry [Chicklet is learning how to fold socks. She can do washcloths and underwear and hand towels/dish towels also. She hangs up her play clothes and puts away her socks and undies. Bug is learning how to fold the washcloths. He's not as meticulous about it as his sister. ;) ]
-Lunch [Usually a PB&J so their job is to wipe up the crumbs afterward. Occasionally it's leftovers so then they scrape the bits into the trash afterward and put their bowl and utensil in the sink.]
-Special [This one is here in case they do something special that I need done that day so they can have a place to put a sticker for it. Sometimes I'll have Chicklet clean up the baby's toys or Bug washes the front door or a wall with a spray bottle of water and a rag. Sometimes something else. Usually with Chicklet it's something I need done that she can do unsupervised, and with Bug it's a project I think he will enjoy and feel helpful doing while I do schoolwork with big sis. We don't have a "special" chore every day or even most days, but it's there in case I need extra help or the kids need a project to get their attitudes back on track. They do not get a sad face for this one unless I give them a "special" chore that is not optional and they refuse or say they will and then don't do it (a lie). I've never had to give a sad face for a special chore not getting done, BTW. :) ]
-Schoolwork [Not really a chore but they like to get a sticker for it. Chicklet has just started My Father's World Kindergarten and we are simultaneously doing Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, which she's about 1/3 of the way through. Bug pesters me until I let him read a few letter sounds from the first 3 lessons in Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, so we call that his schoolwork. If he forgets to ask me to do it I just "X-cuse" him from it on the chart that day since he's 3 years old and not really "doing school" yet except when I'm humoring him. ;) ]
-Dishes [Chicklet is teaching Bug how to put away the flatware. I'm teaching her how to teach him with gentleness. ;) Both kids like to stack and hand me the similar cups and bowls to put in the upper cabinet. Chicklet can put away most of the lower-cabinet items herself and I'm teaching her how to load the dirty flatware without putting too many of the same item going the same direction in the same hole (which ends up making a dirt-sandwich and not getting clean between them) and where to place certain types of items in the dishwasher (such as plastic in the top rack, pots and pans and cookware in the bottom rack, bottle parts in the bottle part basket...). I work much faster than them at the dishwasher, obviously. So I just go at it as fast as I can while I set them to doing the flatware. If they finish before I'm done I have them stack cups or put away the bottom rack. At this point Bug loses interest and I thank him for his help and excuse him. Chicklet starts loading the flatware and I load the rest. They take turns getting to put in the soap and push the on button so if it's Bug's turn I call him back for that. It's their favorite part of course. Usually they are slow and barely wind up getting the flatware put away before I'm done unloading and reloading everything else but occasionally they're speedy and motivated and get to do alot more. I don't sweat it. I encourage them to pay attention if they get distracted but I don't really mind if they take the whole time to do the flatware at this point. Someday soon Bug will be capable of doing it all by himself and I'll have Chicklet unloading the lower-cabinet things while he does that. And then she'll be old enough to unload and reload most of it herself and I'll have Bug teaching Babykins the flatware and I'll teach him how to load the dirty flatware, and so on. In time.]
-Clean room [Every evening when my DH gets off work, he calls me and tells me he's on his way, so I know to make sure supper's in the works. When he calls I tell the kids that Daddy's on his way and while I work on supper, they clean their toys up. When they tell me they're done I go inspect at my first opportunity. As soon as possible so I don't forget!]
-Supper [If there's anything little kid friendly to do when they're done cleaning their toys up I allow them to help. I put the dishes on the table and Chicklet sets the plates or bowls out and Bug does the flatware. After supper they scrape their dishes and put them in the sink. Chicklet washes the table and Bug washes the chairs.]
-Brush teeth [At bedtime. Because if it's not on the chart, this is the getting ready for bed thing that always gets forgotten!]
So as you can see, most of it at this point is simple hygene and cleaning up after themselves. A few are actually real home chores like the laundry and dishes. Many are just on there because they are things that kids enjoy, like dusting, and kids love to feel helpful and be praised for being helpful. If they're feeling overwhelmed or we're caught up enjoying each other and everyone is being sweet and helpful on their own I make liberal with the X's so it's a light chore day. If they're having an ornery day I make sure they keep on track and do all their chores so they have less time to get into mischeif. Cranky kids are best kept really busy... ;)
I think I've explained it to death but when I'm pregnant my brain has holes like swiss cheese! So if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask and I will answer as soon as I can! :) Thanks for stopping by my little blog today!
This post is linked at
>
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Homeschooling: Preschoolers don't count?
People keep asking if we're "going to" start homeschooling. This year everyone's been pretty nice about it when I say we already are, but when my oldest was 3 I got some pretty rude things said and things that weren't really rude but were said in a rude way, KWIM? All were said to me BY HOMESCHOOLING MOMS. Pretty much in a nutshell they were insinuating that if my kid is only 3 years old it's not REAL homeschooling and that if I WAS doing "real" homeschool with a poor little 3 year old then that's tantamount to child abuse, so either way I shouldn't try to associate with homeschoolers as though I was really a homeschooler. This originally came about when my 3 year old's favorite game of choice was to write lines and lines of random letters and then show me that she'd written "words! She asked (more like begged, hounded, harassed...) me constantly to teach her to read. I subsequently bought 100 Easy Lessons and decided to putter through it at her own pace and join the local homeschool group to start getting to know other parents and get my nerve up and curriculum ideas for whenever she was mature enough to start more subjects and/or a more regular schedule of schooling. After a very rude UNwelcome, I stopped talking about homeschooling to other homeschooling parents I knew, and I changed my mind about joining the local group, possibly until she was the apparently locally acceptable age 7 (isn't that something that depends on the kid? Are all kids exactly the same that some can't possibly be ready before or even after the magical age of 7?), and possibly permanently. I just thought it was a shame that the newbie homeschooling parents are in need of the support and everywhere I turned I was all but laughed at for calling myself a homeschooler when my oldest was only 3.
My parents didn't send me to preschool- I was basically home-preschooled by my Nana, then I went to public K, and then my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me through graduation, so despite having never done it myself I have been on the receiving end of this type of education so I have a pretty good grasp of the basics. Despite having this advantage going into it, I still felt very nervous and inadequate and it would have been nice to have local support from the beginning.
I've been thinking about that and the experience has had the positive effect on me that I now make it a point to go out of my way to encourage those parents of toddlers who are home-preschooling. I always feel like telling them, and the parents who say they could never homeschool their kids because they wouldn't be a good teacher, that they already ARE! They taught their kids how to walk and talk and use the bathroom and sing and say please and a million more things already. Just because it's not in a textbook doesn't mean it's not taught, right? Just because I'm humoring my (then) 3 year old's request to learn to read by allowing her to repeat the first 3 of the 100 Easy Lessons once a month or so does that mean I'm damaging her? Just because someone isn't using a texbook to teach their 3 or 5 or 8+ year old does that also mean that it doesn't count as homeschooling? I don't think so. I think that homeschooling is alot more of a mindset of discipleship, and an environment of constant learning opportunities, than it is a set of rules to be followed. I believe that children are very much individuals and that if you're going at the pace they need to keep learning, and they are not becoming turned-off of schooling or frustrated, then the textbook or lack thereof is irrelevant. They are not little cookies all cut from the same cookie cutter. One child might be walking at 7 months but not verbally adept until 3 years, or vice versa. Likewise some kids may be ready for books early, and some may be ready for some but not others. Some might be mathematically inclined at 3 but unable to have reading lessons really "click" until they are 9 years old. Some like my daughter might not be ready for math but are ready (and begging) to begin working on simple reading skills as toddlers.
How about you? Do you other homeschool moms make it a point to encourage the newbie homeschoolers, even if their kids are still quite little? It could mean the difference between someone giving up in discouragement/chickening out, or giving them the confidence to not give in to the pressures of whatever is the popular way to school at the time (pushing academics early or likewise in the opposite extreme hold back kids regardless of readiness signs) and just going with how their own individual kids learn best. If I had not experienced the rudeness myself then I would probably not have really ever thought about this and could have unconciously someday been laughing (good naturedly on my part and hurtfully on hers) at the young mom of preschoolers for how stressed she seemed to be over something that really is so simple hahaha and forgotten how overwhelming it seemed when I was walking in those shoes and how far a little positive encouragement would have gone. We need to remember to be gracious not only to those who don't homeschool and don't understand why we do, but also to those who are hoping to and starting to homeschool and want the encouragement and mentorship that those who have homeschooled longer can provide. If they are laughed at or mocked by those they aspire to be, how easy to want to quit and become one of the (thankfully rare) moms I have met who used to homeschool and are now bitter toward homeschooling and/or homeschoolers in general. Lets remember our words can build up or tear down and focus on building others up!
My parents didn't send me to preschool- I was basically home-preschooled by my Nana, then I went to public K, and then my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me through graduation, so despite having never done it myself I have been on the receiving end of this type of education so I have a pretty good grasp of the basics. Despite having this advantage going into it, I still felt very nervous and inadequate and it would have been nice to have local support from the beginning.
I've been thinking about that and the experience has had the positive effect on me that I now make it a point to go out of my way to encourage those parents of toddlers who are home-preschooling. I always feel like telling them, and the parents who say they could never homeschool their kids because they wouldn't be a good teacher, that they already ARE! They taught their kids how to walk and talk and use the bathroom and sing and say please and a million more things already. Just because it's not in a textbook doesn't mean it's not taught, right? Just because I'm humoring my (then) 3 year old's request to learn to read by allowing her to repeat the first 3 of the 100 Easy Lessons once a month or so does that mean I'm damaging her? Just because someone isn't using a texbook to teach their 3 or 5 or 8+ year old does that also mean that it doesn't count as homeschooling? I don't think so. I think that homeschooling is alot more of a mindset of discipleship, and an environment of constant learning opportunities, than it is a set of rules to be followed. I believe that children are very much individuals and that if you're going at the pace they need to keep learning, and they are not becoming turned-off of schooling or frustrated, then the textbook or lack thereof is irrelevant. They are not little cookies all cut from the same cookie cutter. One child might be walking at 7 months but not verbally adept until 3 years, or vice versa. Likewise some kids may be ready for books early, and some may be ready for some but not others. Some might be mathematically inclined at 3 but unable to have reading lessons really "click" until they are 9 years old. Some like my daughter might not be ready for math but are ready (and begging) to begin working on simple reading skills as toddlers.
How about you? Do you other homeschool moms make it a point to encourage the newbie homeschoolers, even if their kids are still quite little? It could mean the difference between someone giving up in discouragement/chickening out, or giving them the confidence to not give in to the pressures of whatever is the popular way to school at the time (pushing academics early or likewise in the opposite extreme hold back kids regardless of readiness signs) and just going with how their own individual kids learn best. If I had not experienced the rudeness myself then I would probably not have really ever thought about this and could have unconciously someday been laughing (good naturedly on my part and hurtfully on hers) at the young mom of preschoolers for how stressed she seemed to be over something that really is so simple hahaha and forgotten how overwhelming it seemed when I was walking in those shoes and how far a little positive encouragement would have gone. We need to remember to be gracious not only to those who don't homeschool and don't understand why we do, but also to those who are hoping to and starting to homeschool and want the encouragement and mentorship that those who have homeschooled longer can provide. If they are laughed at or mocked by those they aspire to be, how easy to want to quit and become one of the (thankfully rare) moms I have met who used to homeschool and are now bitter toward homeschooling and/or homeschoolers in general. Lets remember our words can build up or tear down and focus on building others up!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
We're having a...
Are you curious whether we'll be getting out the pink box or the blue box this time?
We had our ultrasound on July 19th. The baby was kicking and wiggling and so so fiesty! It was such a joy to watch! When it came time to peek at the bottom, this little one had their legs crossed. Of course. :) After a little bit of wiggling and poking on my part, and just relaxing on my side for a few minutes while the ultrasound tech left the room for a few minutes to let the baby get moved around a bit, the tech came back and we tried again.
She (the ultrasound tech) asked what I think I'm having, or I mentioned it, I don't remember which. I said I was thinking it is a girl. I said that I've known with all my babies so far before the ultrasound so I was excited to find out if my hunch was correct or if my streak was broken. :)
With Chicklet I was thinking that I wanted a boy first so we were "hoping" it was a boy. But some part of me knew since I kept gravitating to the girl baby clothes in stores and couldn't really bring myself to buy anything boyish. Then one day DH caught me embroidering a pink pansy onto a onesie. I couldn't seem to help myself. I was all about the pink subconciously, while outwardly I tried to be interested in the boy things. Lol! When they told us it looked like a girl, I remember thinking it made sense now how I just couldn't get "into" to baby boy shopping. :)
Then with Bug, I knew it was a boy from I think about 15 weeks on. At our ultrasound he wouldn't uncross his legs!! I was so upset because I had this obsessive need to have it confirmed that I was having a boy so I could start buying all the BLUE I was gravitating to on the store racks. Well DH surprised me with another ultrasound at a special ultrasound studio. Again he wouldn't uncross his legs, but the nice ultrasound tech said to roll on my left side for a few minutes, and then she took another look while I was on my side and we found out that he was indeed a boy!
With Babykins, we switched midwives and the new ones didn't do ultrasounds at all so we just went right to the same ultrasound studio, Fetal Fotos, when I got to 17 weeks. By the time I went in for that ultrasound I was quite convinced that she was another girl. Well obviously she is a girl, which the nice ultrasound tech confirmed for us.
This time, I was curious if God was giving me this sweet gift of knowing ahead of time once again, and it would appear that He was indeed, as the ultrasound tech is in agreement with my guess that it is another girl. :) A precious little baby girl! I can't wait to meet her! As I type she is tickling my insides with her tiny kicks. What joy they bring me! :)
We had our ultrasound on July 19th. The baby was kicking and wiggling and so so fiesty! It was such a joy to watch! When it came time to peek at the bottom, this little one had their legs crossed. Of course. :) After a little bit of wiggling and poking on my part, and just relaxing on my side for a few minutes while the ultrasound tech left the room for a few minutes to let the baby get moved around a bit, the tech came back and we tried again.
She (the ultrasound tech) asked what I think I'm having, or I mentioned it, I don't remember which. I said I was thinking it is a girl. I said that I've known with all my babies so far before the ultrasound so I was excited to find out if my hunch was correct or if my streak was broken. :)
With Chicklet I was thinking that I wanted a boy first so we were "hoping" it was a boy. But some part of me knew since I kept gravitating to the girl baby clothes in stores and couldn't really bring myself to buy anything boyish. Then one day DH caught me embroidering a pink pansy onto a onesie. I couldn't seem to help myself. I was all about the pink subconciously, while outwardly I tried to be interested in the boy things. Lol! When they told us it looked like a girl, I remember thinking it made sense now how I just couldn't get "into" to baby boy shopping. :)
Then with Bug, I knew it was a boy from I think about 15 weeks on. At our ultrasound he wouldn't uncross his legs!! I was so upset because I had this obsessive need to have it confirmed that I was having a boy so I could start buying all the BLUE I was gravitating to on the store racks. Well DH surprised me with another ultrasound at a special ultrasound studio. Again he wouldn't uncross his legs, but the nice ultrasound tech said to roll on my left side for a few minutes, and then she took another look while I was on my side and we found out that he was indeed a boy!
With Babykins, we switched midwives and the new ones didn't do ultrasounds at all so we just went right to the same ultrasound studio, Fetal Fotos, when I got to 17 weeks. By the time I went in for that ultrasound I was quite convinced that she was another girl. Well obviously she is a girl, which the nice ultrasound tech confirmed for us.
This time, I was curious if God was giving me this sweet gift of knowing ahead of time once again, and it would appear that He was indeed, as the ultrasound tech is in agreement with my guess that it is another girl. :) A precious little baby girl! I can't wait to meet her! As I type she is tickling my insides with her tiny kicks. What joy they bring me! :)
Monday, June 6, 2011
Large Family Logistics GIVEAWAY!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Part 1: The Nursery (What Do You REALLY Need For Baby?)
Almost every Master List on the internet that tells you what you supposedly need for baby is affiliated with someone selling something and therefore will push products that you don't need that many of, or don't need at all. When you're considering which "tools of the trade" are necessary, which make life so much easier, and which ones just sound good but in practice miss the mark for practicality and compatibility with the life of a busy mom, it's really handy to get the opinions of other moms who have BTDT (been there done that). If you have a playgroup, pregnant mom's group, due date group, or online community of parents that you associate with, asking them what baby items were pure gold for them and what items were a waste of time or money will give you some valuable insight.
I'm currently pregnant with baby #4 so I have a little experience under my belt with these things. I know, you didn't ask me, but I'm going to pretend you did ask me and I'm going to make out a list of popular baby items and whether I think they fall into the "Necessary" category, the "Handy" category, or the "Cosmetic" category, or the "Waste" category. I'm NOT a minimalist so this could get long. ;) Mirage's Master List of Baby Necessities, version 3.5: Hold on, here we go!
THE NURSERY:
♥The Crib♥ [Handy] Yes, that's right, I didn't put it under Necessary! Why not you ask? Well this is a matter that is different for every family. If you are breastfeeding, then you are statistically more likely to wind up bedsharing (BTW that's not necessarily a bad thing- bedsharing is great if you and your spouse are healthy adults who have no sleep related conditions and do not take any medications or indulge in any substances that could alter your ability to wake up easily and stay on your half of the bed while asleep. Bedsharing can help the breastfeeding relationship, parent-child bond, and actually bedsharing saved my son's life. I would encourage you to research the risks and benefits of bedsharing and connect with bedsharing parents before making your decision.) and if you bedshare, depending on how long it lasts, you might have skipped the crib-stage altogether by the time baby moves out of your bed. In our house, we DO use a crib, but the baby bedshares with us and gradually moves to a bassinet/playpen beside our bed until he/she is about 10 months old. At 10 months we transition to a crib in another room. This is just what seems to work for the personalities, convenience, and emotional health of all involved in my house. So the crib is Handy but depending on your stance on cosleeping and bedsharing and space in your home and whether or not you have something smaller for them to sleep in like a bassinet or playpen plays more of a role than often mentioned in whether or not it will be used. My advice is to get a crib that will convert to a toddler bed so that if baby winds up sleeping in his carseat, your bed, or the playpen for the first 18 months of his life, you won't feel like the crib was howevermany thousand dollars worth of wasted wood and bedding. Regardless of whether or not baby uses the crib for SLEEPING, it can be used as a safe place to put the baby down while you use the bathroom or take a shower if you have pets or are bedsharing (since most adult beds have fluffy things like pillows and blankets that should not be used near baby unsupervised and also have a decided lack of railings to prevent baby from rolling off), therefore it is still handy even if you don't use it for baby's sleeping place until you convert it to a toddler bed. In other cribly aspects, you're gonna want one with a drop-rail that will be most convenient for you. If you can find one with a rail at all. They seem to be going the way of the dinosaur due to manufacturers who use parts from China and consumers who don't know how to read assembly directions making cribs unsafe- and of course since 99% of all cribs had drop rails or gates until recently, when the statistics predictably said that "most recalled cribs had drop rails" (well DUH, right, if most cribs have drop-rails then obviously most recalled cribs have drop-rails. Doesn't take a genius.), it prompted a most annoying boycotting of cribs with drop-rails or drop-gates and now you can barely find them. Drop rails were invented to save mama's back from injury as she lifted baby (and later a younger toddler) in and out of the crib half a dozen times each day. Now they are being "phased out" because of poor craftsmanship, irresponsible ownership, and accidents. I'm afraid I find this stupid because the cribs are still being made with shoddy hardware and parents are still putting them together wrong and accidents are accidents and will always occasionally happen because such is the nature of life. Banning drop-rails won't fix the root problems. (It'll create more mama back problems.) Lets ban shoddy products and have people who are trained to assemble children's furniture correctly like the trained people at Sears come out and install your new stove or dishwasher! If parents can't read the directions, lets get someone who can available for those who don't want to put the effort into doing it right for their kid's safety. Cribs COST enough that they SHOULD come with free delivery and installation! :p That's my two cents. If you wish to put the effort into finding a crib with a drop rail, there are two basic kinds of drop rails. One the whole front side slides downward and it is called a "drop-rail" or "drop-side", and the other type has a small panel along the top of the front which folds down and is referred to as a "drop-gate". Ours has the fold down drop gate and I really have loved it. It works great for us. My sister had one for my nephew where the whole front slides down but the time I babysat I could not for the life of me figure out how it worked so honestly I have no experience with that kind for comparison. Regardless of whether you opt for a drop rail or not, get one that takes a standard sized mattress so you're not hunting all over creation to find said oddball sized mattress and oddball sized bedding to accommodate it.
♥Crib Mattress♥ [Necessary if you have a crib.] It honestly doesn't matter what kind I don't think. I got a cheap one for $30 in WalMart. It feels just as good to me after almost 5 years of use as the Serta that came with our toddler bed. Make sure it's standard sized if your crib is, so it fits your crib and bedding!
♥Crib Bedding♥ [Varies] The sheets and pads are necessary, everything else is cosmetic. You are going to want 3 or 4 mattress pads and 3 or 4 sheets. One to be on the crib, one (or two- depends on how often you like to do laundry) ready to go in case of emergency, and one you just put in the hamper from the last emergency. ;)
♥Bassinet, Cosleeper, etc.♥ [Necessary] Necessary is relative of course but here's why I personally think these are a must. Unless you are in the minority who does not like to have baby in their room for at least the first few days or who cosleeps so exclusively that you never put baby down anywhere but your own bed, you ARE going to want someplace to put your newborn down. Most parents like to have baby in the same room for at least a little while and it's more convenient to have a smaller portable piece of furniture in there than to take the crib apart and move it from room to room. Some mamas like to have a baby bed in the living room so baby can nap within sight at all times. If you don't plan on cosleeping until baby is old enough for a toddler bed, you might also find it handy to "wean" baby out of your bed gradually using a smaller baby bed beside your adult bed. There are a million and one kinds of baby beds that are portable and/or smaller than a traditional crib. Cradles, folding travel beds, Moses baskets, cosleepers, bassinets, playpens, hanging hammocks, travel cribs... on and on the list goes. I have used a moses basket, a hanging hammock, and a playpen with a bassinet attachment personally. I like the playpen bassinet because it can be converted back to just a playpen for later use, and it folds up to take to Grandma's house easily. Not so easy to cart from room to room however. The moses basket is great for carting from room to room but hard on the back unless you have a stand for it, and takes up too much trunk space to take on long trips to visit the relatives. The hanging hammock sounded so good but didn't work out for my babies- they just hated it. :( So figure out whether you want something portable around the house or portable on long trips, something for the living room or just for in your bedroom. When it comes down to it there's no reason why if you're within view you can't just lay the baby on a blanket on the floor for naps while you're doing what you need to around the house. However it's beyond helpful to have something level with the bed and right next to it at 2am when baby cries for a midnight snack and you don't want to actually get out of bed or even sit up to get baby if you don't have to. An important feature to note is the WEIGHT LIMIT on the item you are interested in. My babies have all hit 16 pounds by 6 months and 20 pounds between 10 and 11 months. Some babies grow faster and some slower. For most of those alternative baby sleeping places the weight limit is 10-15 pounds. Keep in mind that your baby could outgrow this by 3 months old. Some babies are BORN 10 or more pounds (my 3rd was 9 pounds 2 ounces) so a baby bed that says to move baby out by 10 or 15 pounds would really be a huge waste for larger babies. Or if you have twins in it, keep in mind that while each twin might only weigh 6 or 7 pounds, together they may be over the weight limit. Whatever you get, make sure you find the highest weight limit you can for that type of item so you get the most use out of it.
♥Bedding for Bassinet, Cosleeper, etc.♥ [Handy] but not necessary. It's really nice to have 3 sheets for the pack-n-play for the same reasons 3 sheets are needed for the crib, but in reality you "can" use it bare. I have tucked a towel in as a bassinet sheet, folded a stiff blanket as a moses basket pad, and used them bare with an ultra stiff burp rag (do you know the kind I mean? It's like a fabric version of cardboard!) under their head and/or bottom.
♥Changing Table and Changing Pad♥ [Handy/Necessary] Oh so handy. For me, personally, this is Necessary! Do you really need a changing table? No, but it sure is a HUGE back saver! It's nice to have a place where all your supplies are there and you don't have to get up and down or bend over to change each and every of the 6-12 diapers a day. I would advise getting a changing table with drawers, or better yet a dresser/changing table combo. You will eventually need a dresser for the kid anyway, right? Shop yard sales and second hand stores for old but sturdy dressers you can turn into a perfect changing table by adding a pad, and later turn back to a dresser. I have a dresser that my mom screwed some boards into the top of in a rectangle to where the contoured changing table pad will fit right inside the rectangle. It's handy to have it be a dresser too where I can keep the crib bedding, the hairbows, socks, shoes, and onesies, bathing suit, pajamas, clothes, even books and toys in the bottom drawer in easy baby-reach. That's just what I like, what's convenient for me. I also have a basket on the dresser beside the makeshift changing table part that has the changing supplies in it, and the "diaper stacker" is hanging to the left of the changing table so I can reach the diapers but it's not over the changing table where it could fall on baby. I would not be without a changing table if I could help it. All it takes to convert a dresser is a nice contour pad which can be found at most department and baby stores.
♥Changing Pad Covers♥ [Handy] Changing pad covers will keep the baby from screaming at the feel of cold vinyl under their back, will extend the life of the changing pad, and can be coordinated to match the room decor. If you want them, have 3. Same Rule Of Threes as for the crib bedding; one to have on, one to be washed, and one to have onhand in case.
♥Rocking chair/glider rocker♥ [Necessary] These are SOOOOO expensive but you really are gonna want one. When it's a 3:00am cry-session and you're too tired to pace the house even one more time and motion is the only thing that will soothe baby, it's easy to plop in the glider and close your eyes and just rock. It's also great when you just want to sit and watch baby sleep in your arms, it's therapeutic to rock your sleeping baby and just enjoy being a mommy. TRY THESE OUT IN THE STORE!!! If you are going to try breastfeeding you don't want to get a chair that's arms are in a bad position for nursing, and you won't know for sure unless and until you sit in it and pretend you are holding/nursing baby. Even if you don't breastfeed you want to make sure the chair is comfy before you spend $100-$1,000 on a glider with or without ottoman. Keep in mind that immediately postpartum your belly will still be squishy and largeish so you'll be holding baby in front of the extra squishy belly and if the chair leans too far back, you will have to prop the baby up to reach the babyfeeders. In summary, get a chair that you can see yourself spending lots of midnight hours in, looks wipe-off-able, lockable, and has a degree of back slant and height of arms that fit your body type especially if nursing. Oh and when you get it home, put it where you will USE it. Don't put it in the room with your toddler where baby will "eventually" go if baby is currently co-sleeping with you. If you do that, then you'll have the toddler in there asleep and it's midnight and baby's screaming and you are sure as the world NOT going in the toddler's room with the screaming baby to rock and possibly wake said toddler. Ask me how I know... :-s Take my word for it and put the rocker in the living room or in the room where the baby is actually going to be sleeping. It's really nice to watch a movie with DH in the evening while you rock the baby to sleep. Really nice. It's also really nice to be able to calm the crying baby at any hour without being 2 feet from a sleeping person. I personally prefer the rocker in the living room, after 3 babies and much trial and error! Lol!
♥Rugs, Lamps, Curtains, and other Decor♥ [Cosmetic] Yeah they make the room look good. But that's about it. What you really need isn't a rug with butterflies on it to match the crib quilt (which you are afraid to actually use because of suffocation risks), wall hangings (that don't do anything practical but create another item you need to dust), and window valance (that covers so little of the window it can really only be called decoration)... instead, invest in a good dimmer switch and a room-darkening window treatment, and then splurge on a really cute nursery clock. If you're still feeling rich after that then maybe go back for the matching decor.
♥Clock, Dimmer-switch, and Room darkening blinds♥ [Absolutely Necessary] These are the three most important things in a nursery after the rocker, changing table, and bed. A clock because you will wish you had one to see what time the baby woke up during the night to eat and how long it's been since her last feeding. Room darkening blinds or blackout curtains are great because, especially in the summer, sunlight streaming in can wake up the baby or cause the room to get too hot to sleep. Blinds will help. Also when your kid is 2 years old and wants to wake up at 5:00am every morning because this is when the sun comes up in the summer... *ahem* Yeah dark curtains or blinds are a must. And the dimmer switch is AMAZING. Seriously you need one. You can turn the light on just a tiny bit, kinda medium, full blinding bright, or anything in between. Bigtime help when you want to sneak in and check baby in the middle of the night but don't want to blind yourself or wake the baby by turning the light on full bright.
♥Diaper Stacker and Hamper♥ [Handy] Okay yes these are cosmetic. But handy. Technically you can use the diapers right out of the package or keep them in a basket or a drawer and use the hamper down the hall or just take the dirties all the way to the laundry room straightaway. But I love having the diaps in the stacker ready to grab and apply to a freshly powdered little tush. And a hamper is important but I'm probably not thinking of the kind you are. I'm not thinking of the fabric kind that is really pretty and matches the rug that matches the wall hangings that matches the valance. Those are super cute but I'm talking about a vinyl one that won't curl up and stink forever if you throw the onesie your kid's diaper EXPLODED in into it. Or cloth diapers. If you're going to CD you'll want a hamper that's more like a trash can to contain the stench between washes, and you'll likely want a SEPARATE hamper for the soiled baby clothes because if you put them in with the diapers that's just asking for more of serious washload than baby clothes usually are. By which I mean, stains, stink, OxiClean... LOTS of Oxiclean.
♥Diaper Genie or other diaper disposal untit♥ [Waste] Yep I think a special diaper disposal can is a total waste of money. Splurge on a nice looking, sturdy, lidded trash can with a step pedal instead. You'll always wind up with random trash to toss (think wipes wrappers, bags the diapers came in, tags off new baby shoes and toys, the lint or strings that seem to come out of nowhere and randomly wind up on clothes, that baby wipe you used to wash baby's neck after she spit up or hands and chin after first cereal...) and will want a garbage can for that nearby even if you don't CD, so why not get one that does dual duty? To contain the smell, a 1/4 to 1/2 cup of baking soda in the bottom of the new trash bag will suck up the stench, and for added protection you can use little baggies to put the stinky ones in before tossing. Dollar Tree has diaper disposal bags by the box in their baby section. I also take the ziplock baggies from my kitchen that have been used and would be thrown away and put those dirty used ziplocks in a basket on the changing table for the stinky diapers. I used to wash the ziplocks to reuse for food but now I don't bother washing them and reuse for dirty diapers. I have even put some of the cleaner looking ones in the diaper bag for disposal on the go. I wouldn't want to stuff a handfull of ziplocks that had been used for those melty double chocolate muffins in the diaper bad where someone might see them, but you bet I'd reuse one I had almonds or cheerios in in the diaper bag. ;)
♥Fan or White Noise Machine♥ [Necessary] Baby will be less likely to wake up from the sound of it if you're out in the kitchen and accidentally drop a can of soup on the floor while she's sleeping in her room, or your toddler is in the bathtub singing at the top of his lungs, if there's some nice fuzzy white noise happening nearby. A humidifyer might even make a loud enough white noise to count.
♥Clothes and Diapering supplies♥ A given- and for another post!
So I shall leave you with this list for now and a vow to continue soon with more necessary and unnecessary baby goodies! :)
I'm currently pregnant with baby #4 so I have a little experience under my belt with these things. I know, you didn't ask me, but I'm going to pretend you did ask me and I'm going to make out a list of popular baby items and whether I think they fall into the "Necessary" category, the "Handy" category, or the "Cosmetic" category, or the "Waste" category. I'm NOT a minimalist so this could get long. ;) Mirage's Master List of Baby Necessities, version 3.5: Hold on, here we go!
THE NURSERY:
♥The Crib♥ [Handy] Yes, that's right, I didn't put it under Necessary! Why not you ask? Well this is a matter that is different for every family. If you are breastfeeding, then you are statistically more likely to wind up bedsharing (BTW that's not necessarily a bad thing- bedsharing is great if you and your spouse are healthy adults who have no sleep related conditions and do not take any medications or indulge in any substances that could alter your ability to wake up easily and stay on your half of the bed while asleep. Bedsharing can help the breastfeeding relationship, parent-child bond, and actually bedsharing saved my son's life. I would encourage you to research the risks and benefits of bedsharing and connect with bedsharing parents before making your decision.) and if you bedshare, depending on how long it lasts, you might have skipped the crib-stage altogether by the time baby moves out of your bed. In our house, we DO use a crib, but the baby bedshares with us and gradually moves to a bassinet/playpen beside our bed until he/she is about 10 months old. At 10 months we transition to a crib in another room. This is just what seems to work for the personalities, convenience, and emotional health of all involved in my house. So the crib is Handy but depending on your stance on cosleeping and bedsharing and space in your home and whether or not you have something smaller for them to sleep in like a bassinet or playpen plays more of a role than often mentioned in whether or not it will be used. My advice is to get a crib that will convert to a toddler bed so that if baby winds up sleeping in his carseat, your bed, or the playpen for the first 18 months of his life, you won't feel like the crib was howevermany thousand dollars worth of wasted wood and bedding. Regardless of whether or not baby uses the crib for SLEEPING, it can be used as a safe place to put the baby down while you use the bathroom or take a shower if you have pets or are bedsharing (since most adult beds have fluffy things like pillows and blankets that should not be used near baby unsupervised and also have a decided lack of railings to prevent baby from rolling off), therefore it is still handy even if you don't use it for baby's sleeping place until you convert it to a toddler bed. In other cribly aspects, you're gonna want one with a drop-rail that will be most convenient for you. If you can find one with a rail at all. They seem to be going the way of the dinosaur due to manufacturers who use parts from China and consumers who don't know how to read assembly directions making cribs unsafe- and of course since 99% of all cribs had drop rails or gates until recently, when the statistics predictably said that "most recalled cribs had drop rails" (well DUH, right, if most cribs have drop-rails then obviously most recalled cribs have drop-rails. Doesn't take a genius.), it prompted a most annoying boycotting of cribs with drop-rails or drop-gates and now you can barely find them. Drop rails were invented to save mama's back from injury as she lifted baby (and later a younger toddler) in and out of the crib half a dozen times each day. Now they are being "phased out" because of poor craftsmanship, irresponsible ownership, and accidents. I'm afraid I find this stupid because the cribs are still being made with shoddy hardware and parents are still putting them together wrong and accidents are accidents and will always occasionally happen because such is the nature of life. Banning drop-rails won't fix the root problems. (It'll create more mama back problems.) Lets ban shoddy products and have people who are trained to assemble children's furniture correctly like the trained people at Sears come out and install your new stove or dishwasher! If parents can't read the directions, lets get someone who can available for those who don't want to put the effort into doing it right for their kid's safety. Cribs COST enough that they SHOULD come with free delivery and installation! :p That's my two cents. If you wish to put the effort into finding a crib with a drop rail, there are two basic kinds of drop rails. One the whole front side slides downward and it is called a "drop-rail" or "drop-side", and the other type has a small panel along the top of the front which folds down and is referred to as a "drop-gate". Ours has the fold down drop gate and I really have loved it. It works great for us. My sister had one for my nephew where the whole front slides down but the time I babysat I could not for the life of me figure out how it worked so honestly I have no experience with that kind for comparison. Regardless of whether you opt for a drop rail or not, get one that takes a standard sized mattress so you're not hunting all over creation to find said oddball sized mattress and oddball sized bedding to accommodate it.
♥Crib Mattress♥ [Necessary if you have a crib.] It honestly doesn't matter what kind I don't think. I got a cheap one for $30 in WalMart. It feels just as good to me after almost 5 years of use as the Serta that came with our toddler bed. Make sure it's standard sized if your crib is, so it fits your crib and bedding!
♥Crib Bedding♥ [Varies] The sheets and pads are necessary, everything else is cosmetic. You are going to want 3 or 4 mattress pads and 3 or 4 sheets. One to be on the crib, one (or two- depends on how often you like to do laundry) ready to go in case of emergency, and one you just put in the hamper from the last emergency. ;)
♥Bassinet, Cosleeper, etc.♥ [Necessary] Necessary is relative of course but here's why I personally think these are a must. Unless you are in the minority who does not like to have baby in their room for at least the first few days or who cosleeps so exclusively that you never put baby down anywhere but your own bed, you ARE going to want someplace to put your newborn down. Most parents like to have baby in the same room for at least a little while and it's more convenient to have a smaller portable piece of furniture in there than to take the crib apart and move it from room to room. Some mamas like to have a baby bed in the living room so baby can nap within sight at all times. If you don't plan on cosleeping until baby is old enough for a toddler bed, you might also find it handy to "wean" baby out of your bed gradually using a smaller baby bed beside your adult bed. There are a million and one kinds of baby beds that are portable and/or smaller than a traditional crib. Cradles, folding travel beds, Moses baskets, cosleepers, bassinets, playpens, hanging hammocks, travel cribs... on and on the list goes. I have used a moses basket, a hanging hammock, and a playpen with a bassinet attachment personally. I like the playpen bassinet because it can be converted back to just a playpen for later use, and it folds up to take to Grandma's house easily. Not so easy to cart from room to room however. The moses basket is great for carting from room to room but hard on the back unless you have a stand for it, and takes up too much trunk space to take on long trips to visit the relatives. The hanging hammock sounded so good but didn't work out for my babies- they just hated it. :( So figure out whether you want something portable around the house or portable on long trips, something for the living room or just for in your bedroom. When it comes down to it there's no reason why if you're within view you can't just lay the baby on a blanket on the floor for naps while you're doing what you need to around the house. However it's beyond helpful to have something level with the bed and right next to it at 2am when baby cries for a midnight snack and you don't want to actually get out of bed or even sit up to get baby if you don't have to. An important feature to note is the WEIGHT LIMIT on the item you are interested in. My babies have all hit 16 pounds by 6 months and 20 pounds between 10 and 11 months. Some babies grow faster and some slower. For most of those alternative baby sleeping places the weight limit is 10-15 pounds. Keep in mind that your baby could outgrow this by 3 months old. Some babies are BORN 10 or more pounds (my 3rd was 9 pounds 2 ounces) so a baby bed that says to move baby out by 10 or 15 pounds would really be a huge waste for larger babies. Or if you have twins in it, keep in mind that while each twin might only weigh 6 or 7 pounds, together they may be over the weight limit. Whatever you get, make sure you find the highest weight limit you can for that type of item so you get the most use out of it.
♥Bedding for Bassinet, Cosleeper, etc.♥ [Handy] but not necessary. It's really nice to have 3 sheets for the pack-n-play for the same reasons 3 sheets are needed for the crib, but in reality you "can" use it bare. I have tucked a towel in as a bassinet sheet, folded a stiff blanket as a moses basket pad, and used them bare with an ultra stiff burp rag (do you know the kind I mean? It's like a fabric version of cardboard!) under their head and/or bottom.
♥Changing Table and Changing Pad♥ [Handy/Necessary] Oh so handy. For me, personally, this is Necessary! Do you really need a changing table? No, but it sure is a HUGE back saver! It's nice to have a place where all your supplies are there and you don't have to get up and down or bend over to change each and every of the 6-12 diapers a day. I would advise getting a changing table with drawers, or better yet a dresser/changing table combo. You will eventually need a dresser for the kid anyway, right? Shop yard sales and second hand stores for old but sturdy dressers you can turn into a perfect changing table by adding a pad, and later turn back to a dresser. I have a dresser that my mom screwed some boards into the top of in a rectangle to where the contoured changing table pad will fit right inside the rectangle. It's handy to have it be a dresser too where I can keep the crib bedding, the hairbows, socks, shoes, and onesies, bathing suit, pajamas, clothes, even books and toys in the bottom drawer in easy baby-reach. That's just what I like, what's convenient for me. I also have a basket on the dresser beside the makeshift changing table part that has the changing supplies in it, and the "diaper stacker" is hanging to the left of the changing table so I can reach the diapers but it's not over the changing table where it could fall on baby. I would not be without a changing table if I could help it. All it takes to convert a dresser is a nice contour pad which can be found at most department and baby stores.
♥Changing Pad Covers♥ [Handy] Changing pad covers will keep the baby from screaming at the feel of cold vinyl under their back, will extend the life of the changing pad, and can be coordinated to match the room decor. If you want them, have 3. Same Rule Of Threes as for the crib bedding; one to have on, one to be washed, and one to have onhand in case.
♥Rocking chair/glider rocker♥ [Necessary] These are SOOOOO expensive but you really are gonna want one. When it's a 3:00am cry-session and you're too tired to pace the house even one more time and motion is the only thing that will soothe baby, it's easy to plop in the glider and close your eyes and just rock. It's also great when you just want to sit and watch baby sleep in your arms, it's therapeutic to rock your sleeping baby and just enjoy being a mommy. TRY THESE OUT IN THE STORE!!! If you are going to try breastfeeding you don't want to get a chair that's arms are in a bad position for nursing, and you won't know for sure unless and until you sit in it and pretend you are holding/nursing baby. Even if you don't breastfeed you want to make sure the chair is comfy before you spend $100-$1,000 on a glider with or without ottoman. Keep in mind that immediately postpartum your belly will still be squishy and largeish so you'll be holding baby in front of the extra squishy belly and if the chair leans too far back, you will have to prop the baby up to reach the babyfeeders. In summary, get a chair that you can see yourself spending lots of midnight hours in, looks wipe-off-able, lockable, and has a degree of back slant and height of arms that fit your body type especially if nursing. Oh and when you get it home, put it where you will USE it. Don't put it in the room with your toddler where baby will "eventually" go if baby is currently co-sleeping with you. If you do that, then you'll have the toddler in there asleep and it's midnight and baby's screaming and you are sure as the world NOT going in the toddler's room with the screaming baby to rock and possibly wake said toddler. Ask me how I know... :-s Take my word for it and put the rocker in the living room or in the room where the baby is actually going to be sleeping. It's really nice to watch a movie with DH in the evening while you rock the baby to sleep. Really nice. It's also really nice to be able to calm the crying baby at any hour without being 2 feet from a sleeping person. I personally prefer the rocker in the living room, after 3 babies and much trial and error! Lol!
♥Rugs, Lamps, Curtains, and other Decor♥ [Cosmetic] Yeah they make the room look good. But that's about it. What you really need isn't a rug with butterflies on it to match the crib quilt (which you are afraid to actually use because of suffocation risks), wall hangings (that don't do anything practical but create another item you need to dust), and window valance (that covers so little of the window it can really only be called decoration)... instead, invest in a good dimmer switch and a room-darkening window treatment, and then splurge on a really cute nursery clock. If you're still feeling rich after that then maybe go back for the matching decor.
♥Clock, Dimmer-switch, and Room darkening blinds♥ [Absolutely Necessary] These are the three most important things in a nursery after the rocker, changing table, and bed. A clock because you will wish you had one to see what time the baby woke up during the night to eat and how long it's been since her last feeding. Room darkening blinds or blackout curtains are great because, especially in the summer, sunlight streaming in can wake up the baby or cause the room to get too hot to sleep. Blinds will help. Also when your kid is 2 years old and wants to wake up at 5:00am every morning because this is when the sun comes up in the summer... *ahem* Yeah dark curtains or blinds are a must. And the dimmer switch is AMAZING. Seriously you need one. You can turn the light on just a tiny bit, kinda medium, full blinding bright, or anything in between. Bigtime help when you want to sneak in and check baby in the middle of the night but don't want to blind yourself or wake the baby by turning the light on full bright.
♥Diaper Stacker and Hamper♥ [Handy] Okay yes these are cosmetic. But handy. Technically you can use the diapers right out of the package or keep them in a basket or a drawer and use the hamper down the hall or just take the dirties all the way to the laundry room straightaway. But I love having the diaps in the stacker ready to grab and apply to a freshly powdered little tush. And a hamper is important but I'm probably not thinking of the kind you are. I'm not thinking of the fabric kind that is really pretty and matches the rug that matches the wall hangings that matches the valance. Those are super cute but I'm talking about a vinyl one that won't curl up and stink forever if you throw the onesie your kid's diaper EXPLODED in into it. Or cloth diapers. If you're going to CD you'll want a hamper that's more like a trash can to contain the stench between washes, and you'll likely want a SEPARATE hamper for the soiled baby clothes because if you put them in with the diapers that's just asking for more of serious washload than baby clothes usually are. By which I mean, stains, stink, OxiClean... LOTS of Oxiclean.
♥Diaper Genie or other diaper disposal untit♥ [Waste] Yep I think a special diaper disposal can is a total waste of money. Splurge on a nice looking, sturdy, lidded trash can with a step pedal instead. You'll always wind up with random trash to toss (think wipes wrappers, bags the diapers came in, tags off new baby shoes and toys, the lint or strings that seem to come out of nowhere and randomly wind up on clothes, that baby wipe you used to wash baby's neck after she spit up or hands and chin after first cereal...) and will want a garbage can for that nearby even if you don't CD, so why not get one that does dual duty? To contain the smell, a 1/4 to 1/2 cup of baking soda in the bottom of the new trash bag will suck up the stench, and for added protection you can use little baggies to put the stinky ones in before tossing. Dollar Tree has diaper disposal bags by the box in their baby section. I also take the ziplock baggies from my kitchen that have been used and would be thrown away and put those dirty used ziplocks in a basket on the changing table for the stinky diapers. I used to wash the ziplocks to reuse for food but now I don't bother washing them and reuse for dirty diapers. I have even put some of the cleaner looking ones in the diaper bag for disposal on the go. I wouldn't want to stuff a handfull of ziplocks that had been used for those melty double chocolate muffins in the diaper bad where someone might see them, but you bet I'd reuse one I had almonds or cheerios in in the diaper bag. ;)
♥Fan or White Noise Machine♥ [Necessary] Baby will be less likely to wake up from the sound of it if you're out in the kitchen and accidentally drop a can of soup on the floor while she's sleeping in her room, or your toddler is in the bathtub singing at the top of his lungs, if there's some nice fuzzy white noise happening nearby. A humidifyer might even make a loud enough white noise to count.
♥Clothes and Diapering supplies♥ A given- and for another post!
So I shall leave you with this list for now and a vow to continue soon with more necessary and unnecessary baby goodies! :)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!
I hope you all have a blessed Mother's Day! This year I have yet another reason to celebrate motherhood... a second pink line on that little white test! Yes, I am 8 weeks pregnant! That is why I have been a bit scarce lately. Fighting off the first trimester nausea and fatigue among other things. My husband and I are so happy to be having another baby! Our little ones are pretty excited about it too. :) Chicklet wants to know if it's a boy or a girl. It's a bit too soon to tell yet, sweetie. ;) All we know it's a baby and - Oh baby - are we sure happy! ♥
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Chicklet's Easter Dress
Well at first I didn't quite know where to start. Then I thought for sure I'd ruined it. Then I realized this could work... And finally I was done with it and it came out much better than I feared it would when I was hacking away at it with the scissors! ;)
First I cut armholes out of the waistband of the skirt.
Then I turned it inside out, laid the shoulder strap ribbons in place along the skirt waistband at the armhole cuts, and sewed those armholes and then zig-zagged the edges. The skirt is made of cotton gauze and the built in slip is a knit polyester/nylon. The waist is elastic. I just kept those features and made them work for the dress.
Then I turned it right side out. I used 2 yards of ribbon for the straps. I cut it in half and sealed the ends so I had two 1-yard lengths. I could have cut those in half before sewing but I waited until after I sewed them in to cut them in half. No reason why I waited to cut, I just did. Lol! So they were these big loops like way too huge straps which I tied a little knot in to try on her real quick. That's why the silly knot in this pic instead of bows.
When I tried it on her I decided the armholes were too floppy and big and I'd messed up on the strap placement but I thought topstitching creatively could fix all those problems. I cut my gigantic ribbon loops to make tieable straps- the way they are supposed to be- and heat-sealed the ends. Then I topstitched all the way around the armholes and front and back of the neck, scrunching the fabric up tight to gather it in just in the bottoms of the armholes. It worked wonderfully and surprisingly it came out much better than I'd feared! I was worried that I had made a real disaster of it but God blessed me and allowed it to be fixable. Here's a pic of the finished topstitching:
And a full pic of it laying on the table:
So there you have it. My almost-disaster turned out pretty cute! I will have to get some better pics of Chicklet wearing it for Easter. :) Now I just have to make a peasant top to go under it. The t-shirt she's wearing in the pic does look pretty nice with it though, I must say. What do you think?
~Mirage
She had untied the bows at the shoulders just before this pic was taken and I had a grabby baby in one arm and a clingy son on one leg and after a few failed attempts to retye the bows one-handed while fending off cute little grabbers, I just snapped the pic as-is. ;) It's even cuter when the bows are tied!
So there you have it. My almost-disaster turned out pretty cute! I will have to get some better pics of Chicklet wearing it for Easter. :) Now I just have to make a peasant top to go under it. The t-shirt she's wearing in the pic does look pretty nice with it though, I must say. What do you think?
~Mirage
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)