Saturday, August 15, 2009

Bug's Birthday Party

Baby's first birthday party went wonderful! The kids had a blast and the adults seemed to enjoy themselves too. Buggie made out like a bandit... I had said he doesn't need anything but everyone brought gifts anyway because they're sweeties. :) He got such nifty little toys! He was being a crab though during pizza. I moved his pizza plate because it was about to fall off the edge of the table and that went over like a lead ballon. Heaven forbid the plate of precious pizza (his first pizza ever btw) be moved! Yikes! I had tried so hard to schedule it right between his naps so he'd be in a good mood but he didn't sleep so well for 1st nap... And we mommies all know what happens when kids don't get enough sleep. It's almost as bad as ME when I don't enough sleep. Just ask my husband... ;)

Friday, August 14, 2009

Planning Mini-Man's Birthday Party

Well it's been a crazy day! We got all the favors and decorations and arrangements and cake for Mini-Man's birthday party today. We're splurging for pizza so the rest of the details are going for CHEAP. Dollar Tree saves the day! Haha... I'm so tired! And of course my poor Bug has been in a nasty mood all day. He'd better be behaving tomorrow for his party... I can't believe he's 1!!!! Waaaahhh!!!!! Only 13 more hours until the party... I'd better get to bed.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Baby is 1!

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Oh no is it really the 11th already?! Oh my little baby Buggie is a whole year old already! How is it that they grow SO very fast?!

1 year ago last night, my parents had just left for their home 6 hours away. They'd spent the weekend helping us get moved into our first house. So we said goodbyes and then my hubby and I had supper, put Chicklet to bed, and collapsed exhausted onto the couch to watch a movie. And then the contractions started. Leave it to Bug to need attention when I'm EXHAUSTED! Lol! And lets mention he was due the PREVIOUS day, the 9th! Fashionably late... ;)
So around 7:30 on the evening of the 10th, I was sitting on the couch and it started. I didn't want to get hubby all excited if it was another false alarm so I casually meandered into the kitchen and stood at my butcher block/island with a notebook, timing the contractions. Now, I never got "regular" contractions with my daughter. They were not even really regular when I was pushing. I'm just not a regular contraction kinda gal. So timing them with Bug was not something I was counting on to tell me if this was "it." I was just curious and thought it might help. Well it did sorta. While my contractions were all over the place in length-between and duration, overall as an average they started getting a hair bit closer and a hair bit longer and a hair bit stronger over the course of half an hour. By the time that time had passed though I just had a knowing that this was it. I don't know why, I couldn't tell you how I knew. I had had contractions this long, this strong, and this far apart before with both kids and it was not the real deal. But this time I just knew somehow. So when my husband came into the kitchen to ask if I was okay and why wasn't I sitting down with him after our long tiring day, I told him that I was about to have a long tiring night too... Lol! Then I called the midwife's after hours number and told her that this is a courtesy call to let them know somebody is going to get woken up in the middle of the night to deliver a baby. I thought it might be nice for them to know before bed rather than SURPRISE at 3am... Lol! They seemed to appreciate the warning. Then I called hubby's grandma who would be babysitting for us.
My husband went to bed but I'm a night owl so by the time my body was ready for sleep, I was in too much pain to sleep. I Did try, but between the excitement and the pain I just laid there awake. So I gave up and went to play on the computer. I waited as long as I could but the contractions got really strong and hurt so bad! I think it was around 3am I woke my husband to tell him we should go. Then I called the midwife and Grandma while he carried sleeping Chicklet to the car. Unfortunately she did not stay asleep. She started asking why are we bye-bye when the sunshine is sleeping. Lol! Love the perspective of a 23 month old... So I told her that we have to get up early to get a baby brother. We had been talking about babies all the time to prepare her, so now I asked if she thought today was a good day to get a baby brother. She seemed pleased at the idea.
It's 45 minutes to the birthing center in the middle of the night when there is no traffic, if we go straight there. Which we didn't: We dropped Chicklet off with hubby's grandma on the way. The first word out of her mouth when she saw Great Grandma was "chocolate." Hmmm... Grandma has some 'splaining to do!
I got to the birthing center somewhere around 4am ish. Maybe 4:30 but I think it was closer to 4:00am. Then I got checked out by the daughter midwife who was the only one there (*more on this in a minute). I think I was dialated to a 3 or 3.5. Before we left home I had been sure we'd barely make it the way the contractions were coming, but for some totally Twilight Zone reason, both times I've been in labor being in the car totally relaxed me. So when I arrived at the birthing center the pain and strength and timing of my contractions had regressed to where I'd been several hours before. Of course I apologized to the daughter midwife and she said it happens alot so don't be sorry, don't worry about it.
I give birth in a birthing center that is run by a mother and daughter who are certified nurse-midwives. It's actually a little house which they have remodeled so the living room is their reception desk and the bedrooms have had a jacuzzi added to each one and are now birthing rooms. It's so nice and homey compared to a hospital. There are no doctors there but it is 5 minutes from the hospital. They have a birthing class instructor, secretary, and they have midwives in training and doulas who vollunteer there to get their hours in to be able to graduate and get certified. I will refer to the mother midwife as "midwife M" and the daughter midwife as "midwife D" from here on out.
I paced the empty birthing center for a few hours but I was so tired! I would go out of the bedroom, walk around the reception area, back down the hall past the bedroom, into the kitchen, around the kitchen and back into the hall to the bedroom where I'd smile painedly at hubby and repeat the loop. Finally I quit pacing and collapsed onto the bed. I laid there for a minute, nearly asleep, until another contraction hit. Then again with the pacing through the contraction, then again I collapsed on the bed for a minute until the next one hit. Finally I was too tired to even get up during contractions. It hurt so bad I wanted to pace to help with the pain but I was too tired. Midwife D told me that I was obviously exhausted and needed to sleep during the lull between contractions if I could. So for a while I lay there, with my dear husband curled up against my back, drifting between contractions. Then it got to where I couldn't stay still anymore and I certainly couldn't sleep. I began pacing again, breathing deeply. Midwife D filled the jacuzzi for me and I when I sat in it it was amazing the pain relief! Midwife D checked me when I got in the tub. I was at about an 8 and my water was bulging with each contraction. The pain relief didn't last for long though. I was all too soon in agony again. I was paralyzed by the pain. I wanted to move but I could do nothing but lay in the jacuzzi and stare out the window at the breaking dawn, gasping and moaning. I felt suddenly too hot. I was so hot. I was on fire. Midwife D brought a pail of cold water and some cloths, which my wonderful hubby spent the next interminable amount of time constantly replacing on my head and chest. Midwife D opened the window and the cool morning air came in. I heard midwife D call her mom and ask, "Are you coming soon? She's almost ready to push." Not too long later I told midwife D I felt like it was time. She called her mom again to tell her we're starting, but her dad answered and said he thought midwife M had left and was on her way. (In case you're wondering, Midwife D has 3 kids of her own so she's more than capeable of delivering a baby on her own, it's just for legal reasons they like to have at least 2 people there.)
I wanted a water birth. I had wanted to try a water birth with Chicklet but it didn't happen, so I was going to try for one with Bug. Well I started trying to push and I just could not do it. Midwife D is leaning over me telling me I can push and I'm trying and I just can't do it laying down. I had no strength. I tried to push and nothing happened except AGONY. So much pain! SO diffent from Chicklet. With her all the really unbearable pain was gone when I was pushing, but with Bug it just hurt so much no matter what, especially when I was trying to push. In walked Midwife M and I screamed, "I can't do it! I can't push laying down, I need OUT!! I want the birthing stool!!" These two tiny women picked me up out of the tub by my arms and carried me to the birthing stool. I was too weak to sit up so I had my poor husband stand behind me to hold me up. I know he was dissappointed he didn't get to see the birth but the midwives had to be front and center and there was nobody else to hold me up. With Chicklet I had hemmorhaged. With Chicklet I had torn forward. The midwives were focused on making sure we were doing our best to avoid those problems and be prepared in case.
So I pushed. I pushed with every last drop of strength I had. Which wasn't much by then, lemme tell ya! Midwife D was telling me to push and I was saying, "I AM pushing!" I pushed and pushed and I felt like nothing was happening! He wasn't coming out. I pushed and pushed some more. I was so tired. He moved down a bit next time I pushed. I stopped and felt him slipping back. This upset me to lose the small bit of ground I'd gained. I kept pushing and it felt like it took forever for him to crown. Stopping pushing between contrax with him mid-crown was so painful! Finally after what seemed like a trillion years of pushing, his head came out. I was so relieved I think I started crying. But unlike Chicklet who just fell the rest of the way out after her head came out, Bug was still stuck but good. I had to push 3 or 4 more times before his body came out and then he wouldn't breathe. It was bout 7:30am. Midwife M put him on a heating pad and rubbed him and suctioned his mouth and got him breathing, while midwife D convinced me I needed to get the afterbirth out before I collapsed into sleep. Lol! I stopped having contractions though. I tried nursing Bug to get the contractions going again but he didn't want to nurse, and started turning blue again. After a bit I was able to get the contractions going again and deliver the placenta. Then I was finally able to go to bed! WOoohoo!
Buggie started turning blue I think a total of 5 times that morning. His face was bruised and swollen. When he tried to open his bloodshot eyes he could barely open them because of the swelling. He was 8 pounds 8 ounces. Too big for me! His skin was peeling and his fingernails were long. The midwives were cooing over him and joked to him, "Well you're a bit overbaked there aren't you little one?"
Finally got him nursing and tried to sleep. The vollunteers arrived for the day and I could hear their chattering in the kitchen. Then someone started vacuuming. Ugh! How rude! I just wanted to go home. Home to my own bed.
My husband left to get some food and bring Chicklet. He asked her when he picked her up if she would like to go pick out a baby brother to keep. Lol! So they brought me food and I sat Chicklet on the bed and handed her her new baby brother and asked her if she liked him. She was so excited she wouldn't stop grinning. I asked her, "So what do you think? He's a good one, right? We should keep him!" She agreed and has loved being a big sissy ever since. :)
After I ate, we put our kids in the car and went home, stopping back at grandma's to show off the baby on our way and thank her for babysitting Chicklet.

Days off from due date: 2 days late
Start of labor to birth: 12 hours
Birth to departing for home: 5 hours
Baby's weight: 8 pounds 8 ounces
Difference in weight from Chicket: 12 ounces bigger
Result: One bruised but healthy mini-man, one proud sissy and proud Daddy, and one TIRED and sore but proud Mama. ;)

And then I blinked and here it is a year later.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Gov't Schools...

"Government schools are killing America":

My take:
It's not the teachers, it's the doctrine being taught by the teachers! But I 100% agree with this part:
"Shouldn't PARENTS decide which school their kids go to, and where their tax dollars are going?!"
Actually I agree with almost everything he said.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

My Story

Welcome to my Blog. I’m Mirage. I have been married to my Prince Charming for 7 1/2 years. We have a daughter, Miss Chicklet, who will turn 3 in September. She is a ray of sunshine, happy and chatty and starving to learn everything she can about this world. :) Our son Mini-Man (Bug) will be celebrating his first birthday in a few days. He's not walking yet but he COULD... if only he realized it! ;) He's into dropping things and then chanting "Uh-oh!" and eating big sissy's sticker collection or anything else that happens to be in reach of his teeny little fingers.
So much has happened recently I wish I had started to blog sooner! I will have to settle for a 'breif' (okay stop laughing...) summary backtrack...
When I was 5 I was eager to learn, eager to go to school. They would not let me until I was well past 6 years old though due to my birthdate being in December. Having a December birthday was one of the most bemoaned parts of my childhood! It seems when you're born near Christmas, the relatives either forget your birthday altogether, or they commit the ultimate in baddies by saying that your Christmas present/card is "for both." :p
While I was in Kindergarten bored stiff coloring and playing (while wishing I was actually learning something real), my mom was having convictions from God regarding homeschooling. God finally won out and my mom didn't send me back to public school for 1st grade. I was quite happy with the arrangement since I was nothing but bored silly at school. I had two younger siblings who, at least at first, thought they'd missed out though...LOL!
At 8 years old my paternal grandmother gave me my first crochet hook and some yarn - the start of my lifelong love of crochet! Not to mention a severe addiction to yarn.
When I was about 9 years old my dad brought home a baby goat, much to city-girl Mom's annoyance. ;) (Mom grew to love them and became a regular homegrown veterinary herbalist.) This was the start of our farm life and my love of both goats and natural remedies.
At age 11 I found out I had brain cancer. I was healed completely! God used natural methods, I never had chemo. Praise Him! :)
When I was a month shy of my 13th birthday, the family moved to the middle of nowhere. Literally. Out in the mountains and it took half an hour to drive to the nearest town. I found the woods intimidating and didn't venture out much. I started collecting penpals- eighty-something at one time was my record. It kept me busy and really helped my spelling and writing skills! This is when I discovered another one of my life's addictions; stationery. I absolutely adore office supplies. Sharpies and Post-it's, gel pens and notebooks, staplers and White-Out... *sigh* ♥♥♥
I married the man of my dreams at 19 years old. He was 20. He was in the US Navy. We knew each other from Church. Actually I knew he was "the one" when I was 16, just before he enlisted, but we all know men are usually a little slower to recognize their soulmate. ;) For the first 3 years of our marriage I went back and forth from where he was stationed. When he was deployed I would go home to my parents' farm for the 6-9 months until he returned.
In late summer of 2005 his enlistment was up and we moved back to the home state. The jobs aren't exactly plentiful back in Nowheresville though, so we wound up moving 6 hours away from our families, back in the city I spent most of my childhood in, where we got our first goat. While hubby was in the USN we avoided having children because I couldn't bear the thought of our babies not knowing who their daddy was; he was only around for 6 or less months out of the year. After moving back here, the family dynamic was in place but the financial situation was not. He was just starting a brand new job and we were renting a house with severe electrical issues... It just didn't seem to be the right time. But God had other ideas.
Not 4 months after our move to civillian life, I found myself feeling sick and tired all the time. One day I was complaining to my little sister on the phone and she told me, "That's because you're pregnant." I laughed at her of course. We were using protection. I didn't FEEL pregnant... I felt like I had the FLU. Wasn't pregnant supposed to feel all glowy? MORNING sickness was so named for a reason, right? I feel queasy all day. So that weekend I took a test to prove her wrong. I'll bet you've guessed by now who was proven wrong, and it wasn't my sister.
In September of 2006 we welcomed out first child into the world. A beautiful baby girl; sweet Miss Chicklet. In June of 2007 I became pregnant again. I knew I was pregnant and had all the symptoms, but the tests just kept coming out negative. I KNEW it though, no matter what the tests said! I thought of names for him. Then one day I just felt all wrong. Something was wrong. That night I started spotting. Just barely. But something was wrong. I felt hopeless and depressed. I knew the baby was gone. My baby that had never been proven, never showed up on the test, was gone. A few weeks later I got my proof as my body cleaned out. I thought I would bleed to death. I don't know how I managed to take care of my daughter. I was in the most awful pain and the bleeding would not stop. For 6 days I bled so much I could barely stand. I bled so much I could not contain the blood and spent all day in bed or my computer chair crying. I should have gone to the ER but my brain was so hazed from bloodloss I honestly didn't realize I was in danger. Then it stopped. But the pain in my heart did not. For months I was severely depressed. I felt like I was not allowed to mourn because I had never gotten a positive test result. Like nobody would believe me if I told them. So I bottled it up. My husband didn't understand. My heart hurt so bad! Thankfully God sent a friend to chat with me online late one night. She sensed something was wrong and I was so full from months of bottling it up that I told her everything. It just came rushing out. She gave me the courage to speak about it, and the confirmation I needed to be able to grieve for my baby. And grieve I did.
Then my husband informed me he was ready to try for another baby. I had been pushing for it at the time I conceived my lost baby, so when he said he was ready, I pretended to be overjoyed. But inside my heart cried for my lost baby and I prayed God would heal my heart before I got pregnant again so I could give the new baby the love it deserved. And in God's perfect timing, just as the pain in my heart lessened and made room for joy and love again, I found myself pregnant for the third time.
For the first half of the pregnancy there was scare after scare that I would miscarry again. Then for the second half I fought preterm labor. Right up until 37 weeks. Then it stopped. Of course... Mini-Man wound up being 2 days late. It's a good thing he did not come early, although he was large (8 1/2 pounds) he had alot of trouble breathing those first few months. One night I was dreaming he was cold. I dreamt he could not hold his body temperature and I didn't know weather to put him on a heating pad or call 911. Well the dream scared me so I woke up to find my baby curled up between my husband and I, freezing cold despite about 7 blankets on him. I jumped up and this startled him and he stirred in his sleep. I cuddled him closer, nursing him, and got more blankets and he warmed up. One day not long after that, he stopped breathing and turned cold and gray in the swing. Practically gave me a heart attack!!! I had just checked on him, then I was blowing bubbles for my daughter right in front of the swing, and as we were giggling and playing I looked up and my baby looked dead in the swing. He was a pale shade of gray and his fingernails were purple. I grabbed him and he woke up madder than a hornet. He was like ice. I immediately crawled into bed with him and a heating pad under a mountain of blankets and nursed him. By the time he was fed he was toasty again but for the rest of the week I had to bundle him carefully and check on him constantly because he kept starting to go cold again. I of course had him checked out and was told that he's perfectly healthy, that he might have sleep apnea and would probably grow out of it, and that I did precisely the best thing for him by nursing him in bed to get him warm. They asked if I let him sleep in my bed, and when I said yes, they said that's the best way for me to keep him safe when I'm asleep. Like my dream that woke me up, my mother instinct would be able to tell me better if something was wrong with him sleeping with me. I had been going to start having him sleep in the bassinet but after hearing that I decided to postpone it! He did outgrow it; from then on it got better and better and he had no more scary ice cold episodes. Today he is a healthy boy, smiley and wiggley and loud as a 1 year old boy should be! ;)
Well that is my life to date in the 'short' version! Rest assured you'll be subjected to more detailed flashbacks occasionally as I blog! I am eager to celebrate every precious joy in my life with you as I blog. My precious children, precious time with my Creator, precious memories, and precious hopes and dreams for the future! Thank you for taking the time to read my story. :)