Camera found, Family visited, Memories made!

It's been a very busy past week and a half here! :) First of all, my husband took last week off work because Monday was our anniversary! Mother's Day was, as I'm sure you know, on Sunday. I am not sure if I mentioned this on here or not but it seems the second I hit 20 weeks pregnant, that's when the contractions started, and sometimes they HURT like crazy. Now you should know this is typical for me to spend the last few months contracting. With Buggie I spent pretty much the whole pregnancy scared that he was going to refuse to wait and be a preemie. There were alot of real bad scares . Then I hit the magical "safe zone" of 36 weeks and the contractions just... stopped. He wound up being born 2 days "late." This time it kind of caught me off guard when the contractions got so painful at 20 weeks because they hadn't been very often or painful during the first half. It made me realize that I need to make it a priority to go see my mom ASAP - before I'm too far into my incessant-painful-contraction phase to be driving through miles and miles of uninhabited prarie. So we made our plans to drive up on Mother's Day and stay for a few days so I could spend some quality time with my mom.

The drive on Sunday went better than expected. Buggie does not ride in the car well so we had some ...moments... and he wouldn't take a nap for longer than a few minutes at a time. But I was expecting way worse so I'm thankful it went as well as it did. We arrived at my parents' house at dinnertime and there was a family BBQ in progress for Mother's Day. My inlaws, and my sister's inlaws were there, as well as us and my sister's family. My baby brother lives out of state now so he was not there. The BBQ was great and it was nice to see everyone at once. The only bad thing was how bad it seemed to wear my mom out. The last "guests" left at nearly 11pm and by that time my kids were already in bed and hubby and I were eager to join them. My poor mom sleeps in a chair in the living room so she looked absolutely exhausted by the time she was able to go to sleep.

I had found my camera to take on the trip but, other than snapping a few scenery pics out the car window on the way, I was so used to not having it that I sadly forgot to take pics of most of our time up there. :(

Monday, our anniversary, we visited my husband's parents in the morning and then drove an hour to another city so hubby could visit his brother and I could meet up with a friend. Actually I've known this friend for years but only on the internet and telephone so it was a real treat to finally get to meet her in person. :) Her kids and mine had so much fun together and I really enjoyed our visit! Here's my car all packed full of kids, aren't they cute? My 2 are on the left and my friend's girls are on the right. I was walking around the front of the parked car to buckle Chicklet in as my friend snapped this pic. :) (So in case you're wondering why she's the only one not buckled in, that's why- I hadn't waddled my preggo self all the way around the car yet!)

After that we took a drive across the state line to see the house my sister is trying to buy. Then all the way back to my inlaws, and left the kids with them for an hour or so while hubby and I went out to a quick Chinese dinner for our anniversary. Happy 8 blessed years to us! :) Then we zoomed back to the inlaws to pick up the kids and drove back up in the mountains to my parents' house and went to bed. It was a reeeeeeeally long day but a a good day! :)

The next day my hubby was in and out. He went out varmint hunting and took a drive and went to town for milk. Me and the kids spent all day just hanging out with my mommy (and my dad when he wasn't working!). It was so wonderful to be able to spend a whole day with her! Again, I wish I'd been better about remembering my camera and taking more pictures! I did get some of Chicklet doing a puzzle with Grammie and Grampy:

And hubby got a few of Buggie and I -Buggie was "flying" in case you were unsure. ;)

Bug got a tremendous kick out of the hummingbirds at my parents' feeder. He was running round their front yard giggling and shouting "Zoom! Zoom! Catch 'em! Catch 'em!" while clapping his hands in the air in the general direction of the zooming hummingbirds. Of course I forgot I had my camera until we were all back inside and Bug was busy with the toys and had forgotten the birds. I did take a couple pics of the hummingbirds once I finally remembered the existence of my camera.

The next day, Wednesday, we made the long trip home.

I took this pic at a rest area because the cloud shadows looked really awesome on the prarie below. Don't let the snow fool you; it was a nice warm day with a cool wind.

The kids did AMAZING on the drive! I think Bug only had one meltdown the whole way home! And Chicklet didn't have a single potty accident the whole time we were away from home! We were so proud of them!

I hope you enjoyed my little recap with a boatload of pics! Or perhaps you did not; so sorry to have bored you half to death! ;)



P.S. Don't forget tomorrow is Toddler Tales Tuesday! I'd be tickled pink if you would join me in posting the cute things our toddlers say and do!

Nov. - Dec. 2009 recaps, Part 2

Day before yesterday I posted about my new baby nephew and my sister's visit during hunting season.
The next exciting thing that happened was going up there for Thanksgiving. My sis spent it with her hubby's fam. but I got to see everyone else. I wrote this shortly after returning home from Thanksgiving: My mom has been fighting breast cancer for 8 years. She has half a dozen large tumors the size of grapefruits in her abdomen. Where her right breast was there is an oozing scar tissue hole in her chest. She had had a lumpectomy over 7 years ago and it didn't work- the cancer was already in the lymph nodes and just came back to eat the breast off and leave a gaping hole. Her right arm therefore is swollen and barely functions because it's pretty much cut off from her body. She has tried more different cancer treatments than I've ever heard of in the last 8 years. Her left breast is a tumor. She is on super doses of mega painkillers and it barely touches the constant pain she's in. She can't sleep anymore, just rocks in the recliner all night with tears streaming down her face, humming to herself to keep from sobbing out loud. She takes care of the 2 story farmhouse, dad's pigs and other farm critters when he's working late. She only has one working hand (her left- she's ..was... right handed) and tries to do everything with it. I told her she needs to stop trying to do everything and she started crying and said she can't. She said, "I can't stop! When I stop it means I've given in to dying and I can't give in or I will die!" She can't do any of the finer things she loves. She's always loved to sew and she cries because she cannot sew anymore. She cannot make it to the city because it hurts too much to be in the car. So she only travels between her home and her mom's to help her mom. Yes she takes care of her mother!!!
Her mom, My nana, is not well either. My Grandpop died July 1st. September 7th my Nana fell off a ladder. She was hanging curtains. She broke her leg. She was hospitalized. She wouldn't eat so they put in a feeding tube. She was finally released. She's in a wheelchair now. My mom and Nana are the strongest women I know and to see them both so weak and helpless sucks the hope right out of a person.
Unless God does a miracle, this will be my mom's last Christmas. Maybe Nana's too. Seeing them both at Thanksgiving brought that home for me.
Right now I'm in a bit of pain myself. I have a head cold or sinus infection or something- my eyes are draining, my mouth itches, I can't breathe, my snot is yellow, and something else showed up last night. My kids are not sleeping well and I'm in pain head and abdomen and up with littles all night. When I'm sleep deprived or physically worn down (right now I'm both) it's very difficult for me to keep my emotions in check.

I was have been in a bad place emotionally with this. It's so hard to see those I love hurting so! I'm a fixer- I want to fix everyone. I want to hug them and hold them and make it all better. I want to make the bad things go away. There are things you just can't kiss away...

The kids got sick when we got home from Thanksgiving, one right after the other, and followed shortly by me as I mentioned in the quoted portion above. Then my poor husband got sick too. We were sick most of December and got better RIGHT before Christmas! Barely in time to go up to my family's for Christmas. Which I will continue in another post so I don't bore your eyeballs right out of your heads. ;) Have a great weekend!

Cancer

God is bigger than cancer. I remember when I was little, 9 maybe, and my sister who was 3 years younger would wake up screaming in the middle of the night that her legs hurt. She said it felt like little men picking at her bones. It scared me when this happened. It started happening alot. She was diagnosed with leukemia. My parents opted to go a natural route (and lots of prayer of course!) rather than chemo and my sis was cured and is now a healthy 23 year old mother of 2. When my sis was first diagnosed with cancer my mother had all of us tested. My mom had ulcerative colitis and was bedridden all winter every year. Turns out she had pancreatic cancer as well. I used to get these weird shooting headaches that felt like searing hot lightning shooting up the back of my neck and skull. Turns out I had a sarcoma of the brain. It's a good thing mom wanted us all tested. My dad and little brother were fine. Well my mom and I were healed like my sister was and live to tell the tale. We could have easily all lost the battle or it could have been overlooked until it was too late.
Now my mother has cancer again. She has breast cancer and has been fighting it for about 8 years. The thing I have to remind myself of when thinking about my mom dying and what if my sister's cancer comes back or mine does or my children get cancer... I remind myself that God is bigger than cancer. If He wants to take my mother home then I can't do anything about it and no doctor or treatment in the world can either. And if he wants her to be healed then the fact that she has a hole eaten out of her chest by cancer and tumors all over inside her does not matter. GOD is BIGGER than cancer. God can take my mother and make her whole and new again. Or he can take her HOME to heaven where she will never cry, never be afraid, never be in pain again. She will bask in Jesus' love and live forever whole and healed in paradise.
I'm not going to lie to you. It's not OKAY with me if God takes my mom home. I won't be okay and I definately will have some serious issues with accepting it. In my mind He needs to heal her HERE and NOW. I need her. We all need her. I want my children to know Grammie. I want them to remember her. I want to spend many more happy Christmases with her. I don't want to lose her and when I think about that possibility I have a hard time keeping myself together. If I'm still blogging when I lose someone dear to me, you're probably going to see a side of me you don't want to know. Or I will go missing because I'm too brokenhearted to blog. But I have to keep on reminding myself that God is bigger. God can heal her and if He does not then I need to remember that she is in paradise and that she IS healed. It may not be the healing we all want, but we all die someday, and when we do, if we have a personal relationship with our creator, then we will live forever in heaven with no more tears and no more pain. And I WILL see her again, someday my own children will meet her, and we will all be together celebrating CHRISTmas for eternity.
Only God knows the future. In the meantime, I will continue to ask God for a miracle, for an earthly healing for my mother. Because God is bigger than cancer, and He can do anything.

Monday Update on Mom's trip

Well my mom arrived safely home from her healing seminar on Sunday. I have not talked to her by telephone yet but she said her right shoulder is not hurting anymore. That's a good sign. She stopped off at her dad's grave on her way home. He just died July 1st. :( She said she left him some chocolate and had a good cry. It makes me want to cry, thinking about her crying, thinking about her missing her dad, and thinking about how I miss PopPop too. The last time I ever saw him he didn't even know me.
If you feel led to pray for my mom, Thank you! And a special thanks to my wonderful friends who have her on their prayer lists! :)

And if you're feeling all depressed now, just so your trip to my blog isn't a total downer today, scroll up and read my Next post which has SUPER AWESOME news in it! It's a very up sort of post in contrast to this one. Oh and more upbeat things to come soon!

My Mom

I'm not sure how to talk about this so bear with me. I'm using the blog as therapy today and all things considered I just hope I make some semblance of sense.
My dear mom ("Grammie" to the little ones) has breast cancer. She's been fighting it for about 8 years now. She first found a lump in her right breast which kept growing so she had a lumpectomy. It did not get all the cancer- they said it had already spread to her lymph nodes. Eventually the cancer ate the right breast off, leaving a mass of scar tissue in her chest where it used to be. She and my dad have not gotten along in years, plus my mom took care of my then-single sister's son during the day for the first 3.5 years of his life (he's almost 5), and running the farm so she has had soo much to worry about! It would take me hours to write all that has happened so I'm going to try to just summarize it so I can get to this weekend...
Mom tried everything. She had a friend who was also fighting breast cancer and they supported each other. The friend died. The friend's husband decided to pay for my mom's treatment as long as he could afford to in memory of his wife. Thanks to this man, my mom was going to a special clinic in Mexico that had good success with cancers. They tried a dozen different things on her. At one point they had her tested in California and her lymph nodes came back NEGATIVE! In fact, the only part of her body that tested positive for cancer cells was her right breast (what was left of it). It seemed like a miracle! Then she was unable to go back to Mexico for a while for treatments due to the money running out. After the friend's husband was able to afford it again, she started going back. Mom didn't say it felt like it was going away anymore... in fact she would just say "I don't know. I'm so tired I just don't know."
More recently the cancer has left nothing of her right breast and is eating at her chest from her armpit down almost to her bellybutton.
3 weeks ago Mom found a lump in her LEFT breast. 2 weeks ago she found a growth in her abdomen.
Yesterday and today she is at a seminar on healing. And I am praying. I am praying like I have never prayed before that my mom will be healed this weekend! She is such a strong woman and she's been fighting so long! She loves Jesus! Her 4th grandchild is due to be born TODAY - my sister's child. My dad and her are just beginning to work things out finally after all these years of being resentful strangers in the same house. She has SO MUCH to live for!

Dear God, PLEASE heal my mom from this cancer! So many are praying for her, asking for her healing! I don't know how to pray this time, You know my heart God! I don't know what to say, how to ask... just... Please heal her! In Jesus' name, AMEN!