Saturday, October 10, 2009


God is bigger than cancer. I remember when I was little, 9 maybe, and my sister who was 3 years younger would wake up screaming in the middle of the night that her legs hurt. She said it felt like little men picking at her bones. It scared me when this happened. It started happening alot. She was diagnosed with leukemia. My parents opted to go a natural route (and lots of prayer of course!) rather than chemo and my sis was cured and is now a healthy 23 year old mother of 2. When my sis was first diagnosed with cancer my mother had all of us tested. My mom had ulcerative colitis and was bedridden all winter every year. Turns out she had pancreatic cancer as well. I used to get these weird shooting headaches that felt like searing hot lightning shooting up the back of my neck and skull. Turns out I had a sarcoma of the brain. It's a good thing mom wanted us all tested. My dad and little brother were fine. Well my mom and I were healed like my sister was and live to tell the tale. We could have easily all lost the battle or it could have been overlooked until it was too late.
Now my mother has cancer again. She has breast cancer and has been fighting it for about 8 years. The thing I have to remind myself of when thinking about my mom dying and what if my sister's cancer comes back or mine does or my children get cancer... I remind myself that God is bigger than cancer. If He wants to take my mother home then I can't do anything about it and no doctor or treatment in the world can either. And if he wants her to be healed then the fact that she has a hole eaten out of her chest by cancer and tumors all over inside her does not matter. GOD is BIGGER than cancer. God can take my mother and make her whole and new again. Or he can take her HOME to heaven where she will never cry, never be afraid, never be in pain again. She will bask in Jesus' love and live forever whole and healed in paradise.
I'm not going to lie to you. It's not OKAY with me if God takes my mom home. I won't be okay and I definately will have some serious issues with accepting it. In my mind He needs to heal her HERE and NOW. I need her. We all need her. I want my children to know Grammie. I want them to remember her. I want to spend many more happy Christmases with her. I don't want to lose her and when I think about that possibility I have a hard time keeping myself together. If I'm still blogging when I lose someone dear to me, you're probably going to see a side of me you don't want to know. Or I will go missing because I'm too brokenhearted to blog. But I have to keep on reminding myself that God is bigger. God can heal her and if He does not then I need to remember that she is in paradise and that she IS healed. It may not be the healing we all want, but we all die someday, and when we do, if we have a personal relationship with our creator, then we will live forever in heaven with no more tears and no more pain. And I WILL see her again, someday my own children will meet her, and we will all be together celebrating CHRISTmas for eternity.
Only God knows the future. In the meantime, I will continue to ask God for a miracle, for an earthly healing for my mother. Because God is bigger than cancer, and He can do anything.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Tag! I'm It! just tagged me in a super fun Q&A about Love and Marriage!
So without further ado, the fun little answers!

♥What are your middle names?
Marie and Gaylon

♥How long have you been together?
Since June 2001 when he FINALLY asked me out. ;)

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
I met him when I was 13 and he'd just turned 15. He didn't ask me out until we were 18 and 19. I met him at the county fair. My friend's friend introduced me to a group of kids from her Church and he was among them. He doesn't remember this. ;) I later met him again in Sunday School. We'd been going to one Church for a year, since we'd moved to town, but we switched Churches and started going to the one my now-hubby attended. I admired alot of his qualities but didn't really think of him like THAT. He was just some guy. Then one wintery night when I was about 14 I brought a newborn cashmere goat to youth group to show it off. There was one guy I'd been watching and praying about because he had alot of the qualities I was looking for in a husband, but when I offered to let him hold the goat he got grossed out, said animals grossed him out, and he was acting like a showoff refusing to touch the kid like it was diseased or something. So that crossed him off my list loud and clear. There was only one other guy in whom I'd noticed the qualities that I was looking for... my now-hubby. I didn't have any *special* attraction to anyone there though before this point, just an observant interest in seeing if anyone matched up with my Perfect Man list. Like I said, only 2 guys seemed to have enough of those qualities to attract my notice and the one just snubbed my favorite animal in a most rude manner and therefore was transferred to my Perfect Jerk list. Lol! So I was walking around letting everyone hold the goat and there was shy future-hubby on the edge of the crowd watching the goat intently. I walked up to him and offered to let him hold it and his eyes lit up! He was I think 16 at the time. He took the goat and I showed him how to hold it. The goat was just a day old and only about 6 pounds. A tiny little baby goat it was. Well someone asked me a question and I got to chatting and then realized Mom was waiting in the car for me to bring back the goat so she could take it home to it's mother! Whoops! So I looked around to see who had the goat, and I didn't see it anywhere! I was like, "Where's my goat?!" and the youth leader pointed to the other end of the basement where future-hubby was standing and rocking the goat with an adoring look on his face, his cheek on the top of it's head, and the newborn kid was sound asleep in his arms!!!! Yeah I know, total Awwwww, right? And I fell head over heels crazy in love with him in that instant. I said to myself, "I'm gonna marry him!"

♥ Who made the first move?
I made him. Haha. I knew he was THE ONE when I saw him cuddling my goat but it was over 3 more years before he came to the same conclusion! :p It was the longest 3 years of my life, waiting and praying and lots more happened but if I got into all that, this post would take a week to write.

♥ Who asked who out?
He asked me. Lots more to this story but I could fill a book...

♥ How old are each of you?
I'm 26. He's a year and a half older than me.

♥ Did you go to the same school?
I was homeschooled and he was not. So no.

♥ Are you from the same home town?
I moved to his town just before my 13th birthday.

♥ Who is the smartest?
We are both smart in different ways.

♥ Who majored in what?
Neither of us went to college. He joined the Navy at 17 and I got a job while I waited for him to realize I was the one. Lol!

♥ Who is the most sensitive?
Sensitive could have alot of meanings. He's super sweet and compassionate for a guy! :) And me... I'm sensitive in the extreme. Like in both the good way and the bad way. I'm compassionate but I'm also easily hurt.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Ummmm... We only go out on our anniversary really now that we have kids. We like Olive Garden and Outback Steakhouse for special occasions. With the kids though we go to McDonald's sometimes and occasionally IHOP.

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
We lived in Hawaii for the first 3 years of marriage, but were only actually there and together for less than half that. Due to deployments. :p One deployment his ship was in Florida so I flew out there to see him. I've never been out of the country.

♥ Who has the worst temper?
Both of us about different things.

♥ How many children do you want?
*I* want as many as God gives me. He however is more than content with the 2 we have. We shall see what the future holds.

♥ Who does the cooking?
I do. Except on rare occasion when he makes a concoction of Mac & Cheese and hotdogs when I'm sick or gone. Icky.

♥ Who is more social?
He would be content to live out life as a hermit in the woods speaking only with me and the kids. I am SUPER SHY in person but I love to interact on the internet and am quite social online, so I would have to say me. I would be so sad without online interaction.

♥ Who is the neat-freak?
I used to be. I would have to say each of us has our things we're obsessive about.

♥ Who is the most stubborn?
Oh man both of us have a stubborn streak a mile wide! But I'd say probably him... ;)

♥ Who wakes up earlier?

♥ Where was your first date?
The phone. He was home on leave when he asked me out. He was only home on leave 1 time that I recall between asking me out and marrying me. ;)

♥ Who has the bigger family?
Oddly enough they are the same. He has 2 siblings and I have a have 2 siblings.

♥ Do you get flowers often?
Yes. :) About once a month, sometimes more or less. But he brings me something chocolate every week and that's at least as good as flowers!

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
His fam has a reunion every Thanksgiving so we spend Thanksgiving with his family.
Christmas is a big deal with my fam so we spend it with them. Both our families live 6 hours drive from here.

♥ Who is more jealous?
Neither of us? He used to get jealous of time I spent with my internet friends and I get jealous of time he spends with his work friends.

♥ How long did it take to get serious?
Welll... He asked me out one night and I told him I'd think about it! Lol! Like I said, alot of story is missing but it's long. ;) Anyway, the next night I said yes, he asked if he could kiss me. I said yes to that too. I'd had guys try to kiss me before and I freaked out. It wasn't right. I couldn't give my first kiss away to someone I was not going to marry. When now-hubby asked me if he could kiss me, I'd been praying about him for 3 years and knew 100% without a doubt he was the one. So I said yes. And when we kissed I could have sworn I heard angels singing. It was perfect. It was serious from the get-go. It had been serious through the preceeding 3 years of fervent prayers. And 3 months later, September 11th, when we realized the country would be going to war and things could be shattered in an instant, he finally told me he loved me. I waited for him to tell me first but I loved him too. And after that, I have no idea how it happened but when we would talk on the phone we would always just talk like we were getting married. Then in February he called me up and said that he could get leave in May if I thought that would be a good time to tie the knot. Which I did of course. So my family went wild preparing a dream wedding in 3 months and I had my fairy-tale wedding. We went ring shopping together one day, he officially proposed, and the following day was the wedding. :D

♥ Who eats more?
We both eat alot. We like food. Food tastes yummy. Plus I'm a good cook, so that helps.

♥ What do you do for a living?
I chase my kids around all day. Hubby works in HVAC control systems now that he's out of the military.

♥ Who does the laundry?
ME. He's not allowed to touch it. He would dry in stains or wash socks with towels and jeans or something. *shudders* Yes I do have laundry OCD. Haha!

♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Him. I know a little bit about a few things that he doesn't know, but overall he knows more than I do.

♥ Who drives when you are together?
Him. I think it's kind of symbolic. Then there's the fact that I am intimidated by driving. ;)

♥ What is "your" song?
It being 3am right now I can't think of the name of it. It's the one by Brian Adams that is on the Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie.

Now to tag some people. Hmmm who shall my victims be? ;)
I pick.... Georgiann, Amy, and Cat!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

It's finally happened: Toddler Tales Tuesday

Wednesday September 30th it finally happened. What I've been waiting for. Bug (13.5 months old) started WALKING!!! He just stood up about 2 feet in front of me and wobbled two steps toward me before falling into my arms giggling. He was so proud of himself! Hooray for my sweet Buggie walking! I'm just so proud of my sweet boy! :) He's been practicing ever since.


If you have a sweet, cute, or funny Toddler (or kid) story, I'd love it if you'd share it here in the comments! :)

If you would like to post a Toddler Tales Tuesday on your blog, please just leave a link back to my blog in your post so people can see where you got the idea. You may leave a link to your post in my comments on the condition that you also post a comment! No link-and-runs please! ;) (I am still figuring out basic blogging so this will have to do until I am experienced enough to attempt a Mr. Linky or something.)

Monday, October 5, 2009

My Failings and His Grace

My husband was away on business last week 9/29 through 10/1 and I was here with the kids during that time. They were acting out terribly because Daddy was gone. I had that burn accident and was in alot of pain and I found myself yelling at the kids a few of the many times when they were being difficult. Then I would be so angry at myself for yelling at the kids in my anger! It feels terrible to lose your temper doesn't it? And of course it doesn't help the kids at all when I yell at them. I did not cuss at them or degrade them with my words, but the volume and tone of my voice was plenty to cause damage.
When I'm at the end of my rope, there is only one thing that can get me through without losing my temper. Even the best laid parenting intentions can fail without the Rock to lean on. When I started praying my way through, I found that He gave me the strength to control my temper so I could correct and redirect my sweet babies with a gentle tongue. Sometimes I was praying nonstop literally and then would go have a private cry during naptime, but He got me through it. I don't want to fail Him either.
Do you feel like you're about to lose it some days? Want to pull out your hair and scream? Feel guilty for yelling or snapping at your family? Take your overburdened heart to the Creator and get a refill of peace and love! Corrections made in love teach lasting lessons, corrections made in anger create lasting hurt. Jesus wants to give you the grace to correct in love. After all, your children were a gift from Him and He loves them even more than you do.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Halloween - Part 1: Jack-O-Lantern, Jack the Smith, Stingy Jack

Today in Halloween history we will be studying the origins of the Jack-O-Lantern.

The Jack-O-Lantern began with an Irish legend. So goes the legend there was a man named Jack who was a blacksmith. He was a stingy drunkard and a con-artist. Smooth and silver-tongued it was said he could talk anyone into anything. (For more information, Wikipedia "Stingy Jack".) The Devil heard about Jack and was curious and jealous of his reputation so the Devil went to find him. Some versions say the Devil came to Jack in a bar. Some say Jack met the Devil along a deserted road, and some say Jack came across a body with an evil grin in the path at night on his way home and from there took Jack to the bar to get him drunk enough to kill him. All agree that they were at one point in the pub. Jack requested to have one more drink, or several, or the Devil convinced him to drink more. Jack asked the Devil to pay his tab in exchange for his soul and the devil turned himself into a coin to pay the tab, assuming once it was paid he would turn back into himself and walk out of the bar, but instead of paying with the coin, Jack put it in his pocket with a crucifix to prevent the Devil from returning to his natural form. Jack made a bargain with the Devil to release him if he promised not to come for Jack's soul for another ten years.
Ten years after that the Devil found Jack out walking and informed him it had been 10 years and it was now time to relinquish his soul. Jack was like, 'Oh okay. But could I have an apple first? I'm starving and since I'll be starving through eternity in Hell, at least let me have one last apple before I go!' So the devil climbed up a tree by the road to get Jack his last apple and Jack carved a cross in the tree trunk or laid crosses around the tree so that the Devil would be trapped in the tree. He made the Devil promise never to take his soul to hell.
Jack's lifestyle caught up with him and Jack found himself dead at the Pearly Gates where he was refused entrance to Heaven due to his wicked life. So Jack's soul wandered down to Hell where the Devil reminded him he cannot enter there either. Jack asked, "Then where am I to go?" and the Devil replied, "Back where you came from!" The Devil sent him on his way with a coal from Hell to light his way, which Jack held in a hollowed out turnip. Jack's homeless soul wanders the earth with his coal-in-a-turnip lantern, looking for a home.

Due to this legend, Jack's Lantern or Jack O' Lantern came to be used to describe a strange light flickering over the marshes of Ireland. If approached, the light was always just out of reach. The mysterious occurrence is also known as will o' the wisp and ignis fatuus, Gaelic for 'foolish fire.' It was said that it was Jack's soul wandering, looking for a home.

Part 2: Origins - All Hallows Eve, All Saints Day
Part 3: How it all ties in, Christian response
Part 4: My Personal Beliefs