Have you ever had a day where you had to bathe the kids half a dozen times? Changed your outfit more times than a teen in a mall dressing room? Done 3 loads of laundry per person in one day? Wanted to step outside and have a good scream? Well in the interest of full disclosure I thought I'd confess that I'm not always joyful and life at my house is not always charmed.
In fact, today was one of those non-charmed days. I won't bore you with all the details but it was a rough morning after a night of little sleep. I was so tired and grouchy that I was trying to nap on the couch with the kids playing on the floor in front of the couch, but for some odd reason they kept using me as a jungle gym under the guise of cuddling, and asking me to feed them and refill sippy cups. I mean, how dare they, right? ;) So the nap didn't happen. The closest I got was when Bug went down for his morning nap I put Chicklet (who does not nap) down on one couch and let her watch Dora. I know, I know, so much for No TV. I was desperate. And I lay on the other couch trying to sleep. Through the sounds of Dora and Boots and Chicklet all jabbering away. My daughter cannot ever stop talking while awake for longer than about 30 seconds. She's constantly running her mouth. I think that's a 3 year old thing though... haven't met any 3 year olds who didn't talk nonstop. *shrug* Anyway I kept almost falling asleep before she would start asking me a bazillion questions about why is Boots a monkey and where is the blue sippy cup and is baby brother takin' a nap and can she please have yogurt in her milk and does baby brother have yogurt milk too and mama I haveta pee... So when it was time to get the baby up I gave up altogether on the idea of a nap. I emptied the potty but forgot to put it back in the other room and set the kids to playing before deciding I was going to fall out of my desk chair if I tried to do anything computer related so I'd better do something standing up. So I started unloading the dishwasher and kept almost falling over. Knowing my clumsy self I decided it was safer to do something sitting before I landed in the dishwasher and broke it or myself. As soon as I sat however, I was no longer doing anything noisy. I heard splashing coming from the middle of the living room. I ran to look over the couch and there was Bug with a fish figurine of Dorie from Finding Nemo- swimming her around the potty full of pee. And there were an assortment of other wet toys laying around the potty including Nemo himself. Chicklet had put a stuffed frog on the potty to pee and was holding it in her hands looking at me with a look that said she knew she was in trouble. The frog's behind was dripping pee. I think I channeled some Incredible Hulk because I picked both kids up, Chicklet weighing in at about 36 pounds and Bug at about 25, one kid's shirt in each hand, and carried them dripping across the house and deposited them in the bathtub. All the while biting my tongue HARD so I would not say anything I would regret.
After getting them undressed and drawing the bathwater, I took the pee clothes to the hamper and proceeded to clean up the pee mess. A whopping 3-5 minutes later, having cleaned up the bulk of the mess, I stuck my head in to see what the maniacal laughter was about. The kids were up to their necks in bubbles. I had not put any soap in there... I fished around until I found my NOW EMPTY bottle of bodywash. I should have known by how nice the bubbles smelled. I didn't know Chicklet could unscrew lids. Now I know.
There were so many suds in the bath that I couldn't rinse the kids off in there. I had to turn on the shower to rinse them and then pick them up and hold them over the sea of suds in the shower stream and when it was Chicklet's turn to be showered off, she FREAKED OUT. She is afraid (read nightmare terrified) of the shower for reasons I can only imagine (She's terrified to put her head in the water, period), so she was kicking and screaming like I was killing her. I had to de-soap her though so it had to be done - which I'm sure didn't help the phobia any. :( And I wound up drenched chest to ankles.
Since my kids could obviously not control their driving need to make a mess, I put them to bed so I could finish the pee cleanup and start on the sea of suds in my bathtub. Well it was just one thing after another (one kid after another hollering for me to refill their drinks, etc.) and I finally gave up. I told the kids they'd better stay in bed (meaning Chicklet better stay in her bed since Bug can't get out of the crib), closed the door, and collapsed into bed for a 20 minute nap. After that I felt a bit more equipped to deal with life.
So there you have it, a day gone wrong! Lol! So glad it's almost over...