Thursday, November 22, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Thankfulness
A sweet friend gave me that poem framed for my kids' bedroom wall. I hung it over the rocker where I would read it and rock my sweet babies to sleep. I'm in a very thankful stage of life right now. I have 4 beautiful children, the youngest of whom is 3 months old and just pure joy all the time! I spend late nights rocking her and praising God for the wonderful family He's blessed me with. Some seasons in life make it hard to be content, thankful, hard to praise. Right now, though I have 4 kids 5 and under, 3 of whom are 3 and under, 2 of whom are one and under, I've never been so happy. Somehow this is a season of thankfulness and I'm thankful for that too!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Tips for the Seasonal Clothing Switch!
Seasonal Clothing Switch
-Tips-
At all times, I keep a small box for each child in the back of the closet. We call these their "too-small" boxes. I have 3 kids sharing one very small closet that is less than the size of a shower stall. 3 medium sized diaper boxes fit across the back of the closet. Whenever something doesn't fit right or a random out of season item is found, it goes into the child's designated box. The 3 and 5 year olds know which box is theirs and when they ask me about an item that doesn't fit right, they know which box I am referring to when I send them to the closet to put the offending item in their "too-small" box. I suppose I could even have them all share a single large "too-small box" but I like having things partially sorted for me by gender and relative size when I get around to going through them, and it's easier to line just the back wall of the closet with 3 small boxes than to have a giant box in there taking up the whole floor, so I have a box for each kid.
The kids' room closet has 2 bars. It has the standard bar right under the shelf that most closets have, and then we have purchased a second bar that is about 3 feet long and hangs by hooks from the first bar, putting it at about halfway between the floor and the first bar. The hangable good clothing goes on the top bar where only Mommy can reach it. The hangable play clothes go on the bottom bar and the 5 year old is responsible for keeping her own play clothes hung up when not in use or dirty.
A good idea I was reading about for if you have more than a couple kids of the same gender with no more than a year or 2 between each and the next, is to have one large box per person. When a kid outgrows something, it gets put into the next-younger same-gendered sibling's box, regardless of season. Then when that kid needs something, there is only one box to look in. This would be helpful in keeping storage containers to a minimum and would also help with perspective on how much to keep. If it doesn't all fit then some needs to be gotten rid of, and having one box per child is a good measure of how much is too much. Of course you may want a bigger or smaller box for each child depending on how far apart the child is in age from the next older sibling, as 3 years worth of hand-me-downs are going to take way more space to store than 18 months worth. If you get gifted alot of hand-me-downs from other families then you might want to have all the kids' boxes be the same size for stackability and just have a limit on the number of years worth of clothes you're willing to store. Another reason this idea appeals to me is that I can write each kid's name in permanent marker all over their box. Easy to find and it won't wash off, and when I take their box to do the seasonal switch, I can put anything that's still going to fit them next year right back in the same box. Less boxes all around makes things much easier. If I am feeling picky about sorting by size and season I can always use large plastic bags like trash bags to sort the clothing out by size and season within each kid's box. I have liked my system so far with the newborn through 18 months sizes but after that I have not liked sorting it out so specifically, so I believe I will implement this one box per child method for the girls starting this year.
For shoes... I pretty much keep them with the clothes. Babies and small toddlers won't be wearing the same sized sandals next summer as they did this summer, so when I pack up the too-small summer clothes, I pack the sandals with them. My oldest is only 5 so I have not yet had her wear the same size shoes for longer than a season. I've used grocery bags to wrap the shoes in to keep any shoe dirt from getting on the clothes, but usually I throw them in the washer before putting in storage. Most sneakers actually wash just fine on delicate in the washing machine, if you don't wash them too often. The most important thing I've found about washing shoes is that the leather ones should be firmly stuffed with socks while drying so they don't shrink as they dry, and don't wash on hot as it can dislodge the shoe glue. Light up shoes obviously don't wash well, but if you have to then use the shortest wash cycle and dry them completely before attempting to light them up again. Don't attempt to machine wash girls' dress shoes or any shiny patent leather shoes as the washing machine is likely to scuff and scratch the surfaces. Shoes dry best in a sunny windowsill or outside. Shoes and clothes dryers are not good for each other. Shoes are mega loud going around in a dryer, and the heat from the dryer will melt the glue while the spinning will warp your shoes' toes by curling them upward. If the washer seems to curl your shoe toes too, stuff them with socks to reshape them and dry in a window for a day or two. When the outsides are totally dry, remove the socks so the inside can dry. Always put your fingers deep into the toe of the shoe and feel for any dampness before putting shoes in a closed storage container. You wouldn't want damp shoes to make moldy spots in your box of clothes or shoes.
Swap Day is an all day job so don't plan this on a day when there are other pressing chores or places to go. Try to be as caught up as possible on laundry and keeping the kids' rooms clean in the days leading up to the day of the switch. If you know you'll have more laundry of a certain load on switch day, make sure you leave enough in the hamper to make a full load on switch day morning.
-Swap Day-
Step 1:
Dress everyone in clothes that are STAYING and not going to be switched. Let them be mismatched or wear holey clothes or even their jammies all day, just so long as what they are wearing is something that will not be switched out. You can change them again later after you finish the switch if necessary.
Step 2:
Get completely caught up on all the laundry. No need to put the items which will be switched away in their drawers/closet - just leave them folded in the laundry basket but IN the appropriate room so they get sorted with the appropriate sizes.
Step 3:
Pick one room to start with. I'd pick the room that has the oldest kids going to the youngest, in case some things that are not seasonal that are too small might be passed directly on down rather than putting them in storage.
Clean the room or have the kids do this the day before so that you have floor and bed space for sorting on.
Go into that room with a notebook and pen to make a list of any missing items, and a bag or box for throw-aways and a bag or box for give-aways. Start in the "too-small" box(es), then move on to the laundry basket, and then the closet, and finally the dresser. Take out everything that's trashed, out of season, or too small. Put give-aways and throw-aways into their respective bags or boxes and make piles by size/gender in the middle of the floor of the out of season clothing you are going to save.
I keep things that are still usable but full of holes or stains out to wear as play clothes indoors, pajamas, underlayers, smocks, etc. If it cannot be used for any alternate purpose and is pretty much trashed it gets thrown away.
Step 4:
Go into the attic or garage or wherever you store the out of season clothes and get the boxes containing the sizes, seasons, and genders you are working with and take them into the room you picked.
Take the clothes you are switching to out of the boxes and put them right into the newly cleaned out closet and drawers. If you seem to have extras of something, either make a small box of "spares" to put on a closet shelf, and put the rest back for a future kid or put in the giveaway box, OR if you use the one box per child method then just store the spares in their box and when they need something you can go shopping in their box before you go shopping at the store in case they have a spare. As you go along, make a list of any items you need to purchase or need more of for the kids in that room.
Take your piles from the bed/floor and put them in the appropriate boxes. Take boxes you're totally done with back to the attic/garage or wherever you store them, and ones that you will use in another child's room into that room.
Step 5:
Repeat from step 3 with the next kid's room. Take your list notebook/pen, and your throw away and give away bags/boxes with you when you change rooms. When you are finished with all rooms, put your list in your purse and your give away bag in the car. Throw away the trash and put away your notebook, pen, and laundry basket(s).
-Tips-
At all times, I keep a small box for each child in the back of the closet. We call these their "too-small" boxes. I have 3 kids sharing one very small closet that is less than the size of a shower stall. 3 medium sized diaper boxes fit across the back of the closet. Whenever something doesn't fit right or a random out of season item is found, it goes into the child's designated box. The 3 and 5 year olds know which box is theirs and when they ask me about an item that doesn't fit right, they know which box I am referring to when I send them to the closet to put the offending item in their "too-small" box. I suppose I could even have them all share a single large "too-small box" but I like having things partially sorted for me by gender and relative size when I get around to going through them, and it's easier to line just the back wall of the closet with 3 small boxes than to have a giant box in there taking up the whole floor, so I have a box for each kid.
The kids' room closet has 2 bars. It has the standard bar right under the shelf that most closets have, and then we have purchased a second bar that is about 3 feet long and hangs by hooks from the first bar, putting it at about halfway between the floor and the first bar. The hangable good clothing goes on the top bar where only Mommy can reach it. The hangable play clothes go on the bottom bar and the 5 year old is responsible for keeping her own play clothes hung up when not in use or dirty.
A good idea I was reading about for if you have more than a couple kids of the same gender with no more than a year or 2 between each and the next, is to have one large box per person. When a kid outgrows something, it gets put into the next-younger same-gendered sibling's box, regardless of season. Then when that kid needs something, there is only one box to look in. This would be helpful in keeping storage containers to a minimum and would also help with perspective on how much to keep. If it doesn't all fit then some needs to be gotten rid of, and having one box per child is a good measure of how much is too much. Of course you may want a bigger or smaller box for each child depending on how far apart the child is in age from the next older sibling, as 3 years worth of hand-me-downs are going to take way more space to store than 18 months worth. If you get gifted alot of hand-me-downs from other families then you might want to have all the kids' boxes be the same size for stackability and just have a limit on the number of years worth of clothes you're willing to store. Another reason this idea appeals to me is that I can write each kid's name in permanent marker all over their box. Easy to find and it won't wash off, and when I take their box to do the seasonal switch, I can put anything that's still going to fit them next year right back in the same box. Less boxes all around makes things much easier. If I am feeling picky about sorting by size and season I can always use large plastic bags like trash bags to sort the clothing out by size and season within each kid's box. I have liked my system so far with the newborn through 18 months sizes but after that I have not liked sorting it out so specifically, so I believe I will implement this one box per child method for the girls starting this year.
For shoes... I pretty much keep them with the clothes. Babies and small toddlers won't be wearing the same sized sandals next summer as they did this summer, so when I pack up the too-small summer clothes, I pack the sandals with them. My oldest is only 5 so I have not yet had her wear the same size shoes for longer than a season. I've used grocery bags to wrap the shoes in to keep any shoe dirt from getting on the clothes, but usually I throw them in the washer before putting in storage. Most sneakers actually wash just fine on delicate in the washing machine, if you don't wash them too often. The most important thing I've found about washing shoes is that the leather ones should be firmly stuffed with socks while drying so they don't shrink as they dry, and don't wash on hot as it can dislodge the shoe glue. Light up shoes obviously don't wash well, but if you have to then use the shortest wash cycle and dry them completely before attempting to light them up again. Don't attempt to machine wash girls' dress shoes or any shiny patent leather shoes as the washing machine is likely to scuff and scratch the surfaces. Shoes dry best in a sunny windowsill or outside. Shoes and clothes dryers are not good for each other. Shoes are mega loud going around in a dryer, and the heat from the dryer will melt the glue while the spinning will warp your shoes' toes by curling them upward. If the washer seems to curl your shoe toes too, stuff them with socks to reshape them and dry in a window for a day or two. When the outsides are totally dry, remove the socks so the inside can dry. Always put your fingers deep into the toe of the shoe and feel for any dampness before putting shoes in a closed storage container. You wouldn't want damp shoes to make moldy spots in your box of clothes or shoes.
Swap Day is an all day job so don't plan this on a day when there are other pressing chores or places to go. Try to be as caught up as possible on laundry and keeping the kids' rooms clean in the days leading up to the day of the switch. If you know you'll have more laundry of a certain load on switch day, make sure you leave enough in the hamper to make a full load on switch day morning.
-Swap Day-
Step 1:
Dress everyone in clothes that are STAYING and not going to be switched. Let them be mismatched or wear holey clothes or even their jammies all day, just so long as what they are wearing is something that will not be switched out. You can change them again later after you finish the switch if necessary.
Step 2:
Get completely caught up on all the laundry. No need to put the items which will be switched away in their drawers/closet - just leave them folded in the laundry basket but IN the appropriate room so they get sorted with the appropriate sizes.
Step 3:
Pick one room to start with. I'd pick the room that has the oldest kids going to the youngest, in case some things that are not seasonal that are too small might be passed directly on down rather than putting them in storage.
Clean the room or have the kids do this the day before so that you have floor and bed space for sorting on.
Go into that room with a notebook and pen to make a list of any missing items, and a bag or box for throw-aways and a bag or box for give-aways. Start in the "too-small" box(es), then move on to the laundry basket, and then the closet, and finally the dresser. Take out everything that's trashed, out of season, or too small. Put give-aways and throw-aways into their respective bags or boxes and make piles by size/gender in the middle of the floor of the out of season clothing you are going to save.
I keep things that are still usable but full of holes or stains out to wear as play clothes indoors, pajamas, underlayers, smocks, etc. If it cannot be used for any alternate purpose and is pretty much trashed it gets thrown away.
Step 4:
Go into the attic or garage or wherever you store the out of season clothes and get the boxes containing the sizes, seasons, and genders you are working with and take them into the room you picked.
Take the clothes you are switching to out of the boxes and put them right into the newly cleaned out closet and drawers. If you seem to have extras of something, either make a small box of "spares" to put on a closet shelf, and put the rest back for a future kid or put in the giveaway box, OR if you use the one box per child method then just store the spares in their box and when they need something you can go shopping in their box before you go shopping at the store in case they have a spare. As you go along, make a list of any items you need to purchase or need more of for the kids in that room.
Take your piles from the bed/floor and put them in the appropriate boxes. Take boxes you're totally done with back to the attic/garage or wherever you store them, and ones that you will use in another child's room into that room.
Step 5:
Repeat from step 3 with the next kid's room. Take your list notebook/pen, and your throw away and give away bags/boxes with you when you change rooms. When you are finished with all rooms, put your list in your purse and your give away bag in the car. Throw away the trash and put away your notebook, pen, and laundry basket(s).
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Does this layout make my blog look fat?
Can you see everything displayed properly with this layout or is it wonky?
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Some links I want to be able to find later...
A little encouragement if you have "all littles:"
http://raisingolives.com/2010/07/does-get-easier/
A good list of kids' chores by age:
http://www.raisingarrows.net/2011/08/age-appropriate-chore-list/
The reason I won't go back on The Pill:
http://comefillyourcup.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/questions-and-answers-what-about-the-use-of-birth-control-pills/
Good thoughts about raising men!
http://400things.blogspot.com/2011/09/on-men.html
http://raisingolives.com/2010/07/does-get-easier/
A good list of kids' chores by age:
http://www.raisingarrows.net/2011/08/age-appropriate-chore-list/
The reason I won't go back on The Pill:
http://comefillyourcup.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/questions-and-answers-what-about-the-use-of-birth-control-pills/
Good thoughts about raising men!
http://400things.blogspot.com/2011/09/on-men.html
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Chores for 3 and 4 Year Olds
We've recently revamped the chores. My oldest, who is almost 5, was asking for a sticker chart for her chores, my almost 3 year old was starting to show signs of laziness and trying to get by on his sister doing all the work, and I was thinking that I really need to get them into a routine of things we do every day. Before this, chores looked like this:
Mama runs around house like chicken with it's head cut off and gives kids random errands, then gets frustrated having to stop and reteach them how to do errand x since it's been 3 weeks since the last time I gave them that particular job. Mama throws up hands and thinks to self, "Now if only I could remember to make them do errand x every day and had the time to reteach it often enough that they did it as a habit and needed less supervising and nagging!"
The Chart
After grabbing spare moments to fiddle around with making a chart, I came up with this one:
This one is my daughter's chart. We're a bit unloyal with the type of stickers, as you can see. Lol! We use whatever they feel like sticking on there for that particular chore. My drawings are not very spectacular but they serve the purpose of helping non-readers remember what needs doing. If they get less than 10 sad faces in a week, they get to pick an item from the dollar tree. As you can see, there are no sad faces this week so far!
They get an X through an item that Mama has excused them from doing on that day. Some rare days we might not have alot of dishes or laundry at the time of day when I can supervise their assistance with these things so I X-cuse (haha) them from that item that day and save it for the next day if it can wait that long or for after they go to bed if it can't. Sometimes I have a prenatal appointment in the afternoon, which kind of reshapes our entire day. We don't usually do school or much for chores on those days, so many items on the list get an X on those days. We don't do chore chores on Sundays for religious reasons, so everything gets an X but the hygene and caring for the stuff we own that could harm someone if left out. Aka toys all over the floor pose a hazard so if they get them out then they will clean them up before bed so Mama doesn't fall when I take the baby in to her crib in the dark after they've fallen asleep.
At the end of the day, if there was anything that they had opportunity and reminder to do and decided to goof off or refuse to do it or throw a distraction at me or a tantrum or any other reason why they COULD and SHOULD have done it and yet did not... then they get a sad face drawn on that square instead of a sticker. At the end of the week we count sad faces and if they got 9 or less sad faces then we get them each a treat that costs a dollar or less. Sometimes it's a sucker or a chocolate or a toy from Dollar Tree. Now, it might be good to note that a couple months ago when we started this new chart, they could get alot more sad faces. This is because they were not used to doing these things often enough to know how to do them all so I was spending hours a day following them around and teaching them these things, building the habits. I wasn't able to spend my entire day doing nothing but chore training and that would have been overwhelming for the kids as well, so there were alot more X's and alot more :('s on our charts back then. It was a process. I decide how many sad faces are acceptable based on my kids' abilities. When learning new chores there are bound to be more of them that the child will try and not be able to do yet and will be frustrated and have a meltdown instead of putting in the effort anyway. (They don't get a sad face if they put forth the effort until I help or excuse them, only if they quit trying and pitch a fit.) I didn't want to punish them for not being able to do something, but I felt it was important to demonstrate that having a meltdown in frustration was a "sad face." So I found a balance that worked for my family by allowing for enough sad faces each week that their overall goal by the end of the week was never unattainable due to frustration in learning new chores. As their abilities increase, their sad face limit decreases accordingly, so that they only wind up penalized at the end of the week (forfeiting their reward) for actual laziness or rebellion rather than childish frustration over inability to do a chore yet.
The Chores
Chicklet will be 5 years old next week, Bug turned 3 years old in August, and we've been working with these new charts since I think about mid-July. Here is a list of what they each are supposed to do for chores on a regular weekday. There are 13 rows on the one in the picture. I have scribbled in a 14th row at the bottom. I've edited my master copy on my computer but have not printed a new chart out since I made that change, so future charts will have 14 chores worth of rows.
-Breakfast [This means that if I've set out bowls of oats or cereal the night before, Chicklet pours the milk for her and Bug and gets them each a spoon. Sometimes I do this and sometimes I get it for them in the morning, like if breakfast will be leftover fruit, or eggs, or something else that won't sit out all night. I also don't allow her the option of handling the milk jug if it is more than 1/3 full because it's too heavy for a 4 year old to control. Regardless, both kids must scrape any soggy leftovers into the trash and put their bowl and utensil into the sink after they are done eating.]
-Brush teeth [I still have to help Bug with his, and I still check Chicklet's after she's done.]
-Brush hair [Chicklet has very long hair and I'm teaching her how to brush it herself. She doesn't have the hang of it yet. That's okay. She'll get it eventually. It's hard to brush long hair! The baby and Bug like to comb their own hair and both have short enough hair that it doesn't really need anything done with it so I praise them for the effort.]
-Make beds [Bug needs alot of help with his- I pretty much do it for him and then have him help me straighten the wrinkles out. Chicklet has no top sheet, just a comforter, so she can do it herself. When teaching her how, I verbally directed her to pull the comforter off the bed by grabbing one side/end of the blanket and then to walk backward onto the bed pulling the blanket back onto the bed from the opposite side/end it was drug off by. Her mattress is on the floor right now so there is no headboard or footboard to make things difficult, and she has very little if any trouble making her bed alone now. I can tell her to go do it now and then go check it after she's done.]
-Trash/Toilet Paper [Chicklet gets the 3 little bitty bedroom and office trashes and dumps the contents into one of the big trash cans in either the bathroom or kitchen. Bug opens the little TP cabinet that holds 5 rolls and fills it if it is needed. Sometimes he likes to stack the rolls and knock them over like block towers a few times before he puts them in there. ;) He's 3 and he doesn't horse around for too long and always gets them in there after he's done being silly so I humor him.]
-Dust [I give each kid a dry rag to wipe surfaces with. I'm not really concerned about dusting but I praise them like crazy and they think they are so helpful and it's so much fun to dust so that's why it's on here. At least this way my house kind of sort of gets dusted. If it were left up to me I'd dust once a year...]
-Laundry [Chicklet is learning how to fold socks. She can do washcloths and underwear and hand towels/dish towels also. She hangs up her play clothes and puts away her socks and undies. Bug is learning how to fold the washcloths. He's not as meticulous about it as his sister. ;) ]
-Lunch [Usually a PB&J so their job is to wipe up the crumbs afterward. Occasionally it's leftovers so then they scrape the bits into the trash afterward and put their bowl and utensil in the sink.]
-Special [This one is here in case they do something special that I need done that day so they can have a place to put a sticker for it. Sometimes I'll have Chicklet clean up the baby's toys or Bug washes the front door or a wall with a spray bottle of water and a rag. Sometimes something else. Usually with Chicklet it's something I need done that she can do unsupervised, and with Bug it's a project I think he will enjoy and feel helpful doing while I do schoolwork with big sis. We don't have a "special" chore every day or even most days, but it's there in case I need extra help or the kids need a project to get their attitudes back on track. They do not get a sad face for this one unless I give them a "special" chore that is not optional and they refuse or say they will and then don't do it (a lie). I've never had to give a sad face for a special chore not getting done, BTW. :) ]
-Schoolwork [Not really a chore but they like to get a sticker for it. Chicklet has just started My Father's World Kindergarten and we are simultaneously doing Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, which she's about 1/3 of the way through. Bug pesters me until I let him read a few letter sounds from the first 3 lessons in Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, so we call that his schoolwork. If he forgets to ask me to do it I just "X-cuse" him from it on the chart that day since he's 3 years old and not really "doing school" yet except when I'm humoring him. ;) ]
-Dishes [Chicklet is teaching Bug how to put away the flatware. I'm teaching her how to teach him with gentleness. ;) Both kids like to stack and hand me the similar cups and bowls to put in the upper cabinet. Chicklet can put away most of the lower-cabinet items herself and I'm teaching her how to load the dirty flatware without putting too many of the same item going the same direction in the same hole (which ends up making a dirt-sandwich and not getting clean between them) and where to place certain types of items in the dishwasher (such as plastic in the top rack, pots and pans and cookware in the bottom rack, bottle parts in the bottle part basket...). I work much faster than them at the dishwasher, obviously. So I just go at it as fast as I can while I set them to doing the flatware. If they finish before I'm done I have them stack cups or put away the bottom rack. At this point Bug loses interest and I thank him for his help and excuse him. Chicklet starts loading the flatware and I load the rest. They take turns getting to put in the soap and push the on button so if it's Bug's turn I call him back for that. It's their favorite part of course. Usually they are slow and barely wind up getting the flatware put away before I'm done unloading and reloading everything else but occasionally they're speedy and motivated and get to do alot more. I don't sweat it. I encourage them to pay attention if they get distracted but I don't really mind if they take the whole time to do the flatware at this point. Someday soon Bug will be capable of doing it all by himself and I'll have Chicklet unloading the lower-cabinet things while he does that. And then she'll be old enough to unload and reload most of it herself and I'll have Bug teaching Babykins the flatware and I'll teach him how to load the dirty flatware, and so on. In time.]
-Clean room [Every evening when my DH gets off work, he calls me and tells me he's on his way, so I know to make sure supper's in the works. When he calls I tell the kids that Daddy's on his way and while I work on supper, they clean their toys up. When they tell me they're done I go inspect at my first opportunity. As soon as possible so I don't forget!]
-Supper [If there's anything little kid friendly to do when they're done cleaning their toys up I allow them to help. I put the dishes on the table and Chicklet sets the plates or bowls out and Bug does the flatware. After supper they scrape their dishes and put them in the sink. Chicklet washes the table and Bug washes the chairs.]
-Brush teeth [At bedtime. Because if it's not on the chart, this is the getting ready for bed thing that always gets forgotten!]
So as you can see, most of it at this point is simple hygene and cleaning up after themselves. A few are actually real home chores like the laundry and dishes. Many are just on there because they are things that kids enjoy, like dusting, and kids love to feel helpful and be praised for being helpful. If they're feeling overwhelmed or we're caught up enjoying each other and everyone is being sweet and helpful on their own I make liberal with the X's so it's a light chore day. If they're having an ornery day I make sure they keep on track and do all their chores so they have less time to get into mischeif. Cranky kids are best kept really busy... ;)
I think I've explained it to death but when I'm pregnant my brain has holes like swiss cheese! So if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask and I will answer as soon as I can! :) Thanks for stopping by my little blog today!
This post is linked at
>
Mama runs around house like chicken with it's head cut off and gives kids random errands, then gets frustrated having to stop and reteach them how to do errand x since it's been 3 weeks since the last time I gave them that particular job. Mama throws up hands and thinks to self, "Now if only I could remember to make them do errand x every day and had the time to reteach it often enough that they did it as a habit and needed less supervising and nagging!"
The Chart
After grabbing spare moments to fiddle around with making a chart, I came up with this one:
They get an X through an item that Mama has excused them from doing on that day. Some rare days we might not have alot of dishes or laundry at the time of day when I can supervise their assistance with these things so I X-cuse (haha) them from that item that day and save it for the next day if it can wait that long or for after they go to bed if it can't. Sometimes I have a prenatal appointment in the afternoon, which kind of reshapes our entire day. We don't usually do school or much for chores on those days, so many items on the list get an X on those days. We don't do chore chores on Sundays for religious reasons, so everything gets an X but the hygene and caring for the stuff we own that could harm someone if left out. Aka toys all over the floor pose a hazard so if they get them out then they will clean them up before bed so Mama doesn't fall when I take the baby in to her crib in the dark after they've fallen asleep.
At the end of the day, if there was anything that they had opportunity and reminder to do and decided to goof off or refuse to do it or throw a distraction at me or a tantrum or any other reason why they COULD and SHOULD have done it and yet did not... then they get a sad face drawn on that square instead of a sticker. At the end of the week we count sad faces and if they got 9 or less sad faces then we get them each a treat that costs a dollar or less. Sometimes it's a sucker or a chocolate or a toy from Dollar Tree. Now, it might be good to note that a couple months ago when we started this new chart, they could get alot more sad faces. This is because they were not used to doing these things often enough to know how to do them all so I was spending hours a day following them around and teaching them these things, building the habits. I wasn't able to spend my entire day doing nothing but chore training and that would have been overwhelming for the kids as well, so there were alot more X's and alot more :('s on our charts back then. It was a process. I decide how many sad faces are acceptable based on my kids' abilities. When learning new chores there are bound to be more of them that the child will try and not be able to do yet and will be frustrated and have a meltdown instead of putting in the effort anyway. (They don't get a sad face if they put forth the effort until I help or excuse them, only if they quit trying and pitch a fit.) I didn't want to punish them for not being able to do something, but I felt it was important to demonstrate that having a meltdown in frustration was a "sad face." So I found a balance that worked for my family by allowing for enough sad faces each week that their overall goal by the end of the week was never unattainable due to frustration in learning new chores. As their abilities increase, their sad face limit decreases accordingly, so that they only wind up penalized at the end of the week (forfeiting their reward) for actual laziness or rebellion rather than childish frustration over inability to do a chore yet.
The Chores
Chicklet will be 5 years old next week, Bug turned 3 years old in August, and we've been working with these new charts since I think about mid-July. Here is a list of what they each are supposed to do for chores on a regular weekday. There are 13 rows on the one in the picture. I have scribbled in a 14th row at the bottom. I've edited my master copy on my computer but have not printed a new chart out since I made that change, so future charts will have 14 chores worth of rows.
-Breakfast [This means that if I've set out bowls of oats or cereal the night before, Chicklet pours the milk for her and Bug and gets them each a spoon. Sometimes I do this and sometimes I get it for them in the morning, like if breakfast will be leftover fruit, or eggs, or something else that won't sit out all night. I also don't allow her the option of handling the milk jug if it is more than 1/3 full because it's too heavy for a 4 year old to control. Regardless, both kids must scrape any soggy leftovers into the trash and put their bowl and utensil into the sink after they are done eating.]
-Brush teeth [I still have to help Bug with his, and I still check Chicklet's after she's done.]
-Brush hair [Chicklet has very long hair and I'm teaching her how to brush it herself. She doesn't have the hang of it yet. That's okay. She'll get it eventually. It's hard to brush long hair! The baby and Bug like to comb their own hair and both have short enough hair that it doesn't really need anything done with it so I praise them for the effort.]
-Make beds [Bug needs alot of help with his- I pretty much do it for him and then have him help me straighten the wrinkles out. Chicklet has no top sheet, just a comforter, so she can do it herself. When teaching her how, I verbally directed her to pull the comforter off the bed by grabbing one side/end of the blanket and then to walk backward onto the bed pulling the blanket back onto the bed from the opposite side/end it was drug off by. Her mattress is on the floor right now so there is no headboard or footboard to make things difficult, and she has very little if any trouble making her bed alone now. I can tell her to go do it now and then go check it after she's done.]
-Trash/Toilet Paper [Chicklet gets the 3 little bitty bedroom and office trashes and dumps the contents into one of the big trash cans in either the bathroom or kitchen. Bug opens the little TP cabinet that holds 5 rolls and fills it if it is needed. Sometimes he likes to stack the rolls and knock them over like block towers a few times before he puts them in there. ;) He's 3 and he doesn't horse around for too long and always gets them in there after he's done being silly so I humor him.]
-Dust [I give each kid a dry rag to wipe surfaces with. I'm not really concerned about dusting but I praise them like crazy and they think they are so helpful and it's so much fun to dust so that's why it's on here. At least this way my house kind of sort of gets dusted. If it were left up to me I'd dust once a year...]
-Laundry [Chicklet is learning how to fold socks. She can do washcloths and underwear and hand towels/dish towels also. She hangs up her play clothes and puts away her socks and undies. Bug is learning how to fold the washcloths. He's not as meticulous about it as his sister. ;) ]
-Lunch [Usually a PB&J so their job is to wipe up the crumbs afterward. Occasionally it's leftovers so then they scrape the bits into the trash afterward and put their bowl and utensil in the sink.]
-Special [This one is here in case they do something special that I need done that day so they can have a place to put a sticker for it. Sometimes I'll have Chicklet clean up the baby's toys or Bug washes the front door or a wall with a spray bottle of water and a rag. Sometimes something else. Usually with Chicklet it's something I need done that she can do unsupervised, and with Bug it's a project I think he will enjoy and feel helpful doing while I do schoolwork with big sis. We don't have a "special" chore every day or even most days, but it's there in case I need extra help or the kids need a project to get their attitudes back on track. They do not get a sad face for this one unless I give them a "special" chore that is not optional and they refuse or say they will and then don't do it (a lie). I've never had to give a sad face for a special chore not getting done, BTW. :) ]
-Schoolwork [Not really a chore but they like to get a sticker for it. Chicklet has just started My Father's World Kindergarten and we are simultaneously doing Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, which she's about 1/3 of the way through. Bug pesters me until I let him read a few letter sounds from the first 3 lessons in Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons, so we call that his schoolwork. If he forgets to ask me to do it I just "X-cuse" him from it on the chart that day since he's 3 years old and not really "doing school" yet except when I'm humoring him. ;) ]
-Dishes [Chicklet is teaching Bug how to put away the flatware. I'm teaching her how to teach him with gentleness. ;) Both kids like to stack and hand me the similar cups and bowls to put in the upper cabinet. Chicklet can put away most of the lower-cabinet items herself and I'm teaching her how to load the dirty flatware without putting too many of the same item going the same direction in the same hole (which ends up making a dirt-sandwich and not getting clean between them) and where to place certain types of items in the dishwasher (such as plastic in the top rack, pots and pans and cookware in the bottom rack, bottle parts in the bottle part basket...). I work much faster than them at the dishwasher, obviously. So I just go at it as fast as I can while I set them to doing the flatware. If they finish before I'm done I have them stack cups or put away the bottom rack. At this point Bug loses interest and I thank him for his help and excuse him. Chicklet starts loading the flatware and I load the rest. They take turns getting to put in the soap and push the on button so if it's Bug's turn I call him back for that. It's their favorite part of course. Usually they are slow and barely wind up getting the flatware put away before I'm done unloading and reloading everything else but occasionally they're speedy and motivated and get to do alot more. I don't sweat it. I encourage them to pay attention if they get distracted but I don't really mind if they take the whole time to do the flatware at this point. Someday soon Bug will be capable of doing it all by himself and I'll have Chicklet unloading the lower-cabinet things while he does that. And then she'll be old enough to unload and reload most of it herself and I'll have Bug teaching Babykins the flatware and I'll teach him how to load the dirty flatware, and so on. In time.]
-Clean room [Every evening when my DH gets off work, he calls me and tells me he's on his way, so I know to make sure supper's in the works. When he calls I tell the kids that Daddy's on his way and while I work on supper, they clean their toys up. When they tell me they're done I go inspect at my first opportunity. As soon as possible so I don't forget!]
-Supper [If there's anything little kid friendly to do when they're done cleaning their toys up I allow them to help. I put the dishes on the table and Chicklet sets the plates or bowls out and Bug does the flatware. After supper they scrape their dishes and put them in the sink. Chicklet washes the table and Bug washes the chairs.]
-Brush teeth [At bedtime. Because if it's not on the chart, this is the getting ready for bed thing that always gets forgotten!]
So as you can see, most of it at this point is simple hygene and cleaning up after themselves. A few are actually real home chores like the laundry and dishes. Many are just on there because they are things that kids enjoy, like dusting, and kids love to feel helpful and be praised for being helpful. If they're feeling overwhelmed or we're caught up enjoying each other and everyone is being sweet and helpful on their own I make liberal with the X's so it's a light chore day. If they're having an ornery day I make sure they keep on track and do all their chores so they have less time to get into mischeif. Cranky kids are best kept really busy... ;)
I think I've explained it to death but when I'm pregnant my brain has holes like swiss cheese! So if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask and I will answer as soon as I can! :) Thanks for stopping by my little blog today!
This post is linked at
>
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Homeschooling: Preschoolers don't count?
People keep asking if we're "going to" start homeschooling. This year everyone's been pretty nice about it when I say we already are, but when my oldest was 3 I got some pretty rude things said and things that weren't really rude but were said in a rude way, KWIM? All were said to me BY HOMESCHOOLING MOMS. Pretty much in a nutshell they were insinuating that if my kid is only 3 years old it's not REAL homeschooling and that if I WAS doing "real" homeschool with a poor little 3 year old then that's tantamount to child abuse, so either way I shouldn't try to associate with homeschoolers as though I was really a homeschooler. This originally came about when my 3 year old's favorite game of choice was to write lines and lines of random letters and then show me that she'd written "words! She asked (more like begged, hounded, harassed...) me constantly to teach her to read. I subsequently bought 100 Easy Lessons and decided to putter through it at her own pace and join the local homeschool group to start getting to know other parents and get my nerve up and curriculum ideas for whenever she was mature enough to start more subjects and/or a more regular schedule of schooling. After a very rude UNwelcome, I stopped talking about homeschooling to other homeschooling parents I knew, and I changed my mind about joining the local group, possibly until she was the apparently locally acceptable age 7 (isn't that something that depends on the kid? Are all kids exactly the same that some can't possibly be ready before or even after the magical age of 7?), and possibly permanently. I just thought it was a shame that the newbie homeschooling parents are in need of the support and everywhere I turned I was all but laughed at for calling myself a homeschooler when my oldest was only 3.
My parents didn't send me to preschool- I was basically home-preschooled by my Nana, then I went to public K, and then my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me through graduation, so despite having never done it myself I have been on the receiving end of this type of education so I have a pretty good grasp of the basics. Despite having this advantage going into it, I still felt very nervous and inadequate and it would have been nice to have local support from the beginning.
I've been thinking about that and the experience has had the positive effect on me that I now make it a point to go out of my way to encourage those parents of toddlers who are home-preschooling. I always feel like telling them, and the parents who say they could never homeschool their kids because they wouldn't be a good teacher, that they already ARE! They taught their kids how to walk and talk and use the bathroom and sing and say please and a million more things already. Just because it's not in a textbook doesn't mean it's not taught, right? Just because I'm humoring my (then) 3 year old's request to learn to read by allowing her to repeat the first 3 of the 100 Easy Lessons once a month or so does that mean I'm damaging her? Just because someone isn't using a texbook to teach their 3 or 5 or 8+ year old does that also mean that it doesn't count as homeschooling? I don't think so. I think that homeschooling is alot more of a mindset of discipleship, and an environment of constant learning opportunities, than it is a set of rules to be followed. I believe that children are very much individuals and that if you're going at the pace they need to keep learning, and they are not becoming turned-off of schooling or frustrated, then the textbook or lack thereof is irrelevant. They are not little cookies all cut from the same cookie cutter. One child might be walking at 7 months but not verbally adept until 3 years, or vice versa. Likewise some kids may be ready for books early, and some may be ready for some but not others. Some might be mathematically inclined at 3 but unable to have reading lessons really "click" until they are 9 years old. Some like my daughter might not be ready for math but are ready (and begging) to begin working on simple reading skills as toddlers.
How about you? Do you other homeschool moms make it a point to encourage the newbie homeschoolers, even if their kids are still quite little? It could mean the difference between someone giving up in discouragement/chickening out, or giving them the confidence to not give in to the pressures of whatever is the popular way to school at the time (pushing academics early or likewise in the opposite extreme hold back kids regardless of readiness signs) and just going with how their own individual kids learn best. If I had not experienced the rudeness myself then I would probably not have really ever thought about this and could have unconciously someday been laughing (good naturedly on my part and hurtfully on hers) at the young mom of preschoolers for how stressed she seemed to be over something that really is so simple hahaha and forgotten how overwhelming it seemed when I was walking in those shoes and how far a little positive encouragement would have gone. We need to remember to be gracious not only to those who don't homeschool and don't understand why we do, but also to those who are hoping to and starting to homeschool and want the encouragement and mentorship that those who have homeschooled longer can provide. If they are laughed at or mocked by those they aspire to be, how easy to want to quit and become one of the (thankfully rare) moms I have met who used to homeschool and are now bitter toward homeschooling and/or homeschoolers in general. Lets remember our words can build up or tear down and focus on building others up!
My parents didn't send me to preschool- I was basically home-preschooled by my Nana, then I went to public K, and then my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me through graduation, so despite having never done it myself I have been on the receiving end of this type of education so I have a pretty good grasp of the basics. Despite having this advantage going into it, I still felt very nervous and inadequate and it would have been nice to have local support from the beginning.
I've been thinking about that and the experience has had the positive effect on me that I now make it a point to go out of my way to encourage those parents of toddlers who are home-preschooling. I always feel like telling them, and the parents who say they could never homeschool their kids because they wouldn't be a good teacher, that they already ARE! They taught their kids how to walk and talk and use the bathroom and sing and say please and a million more things already. Just because it's not in a textbook doesn't mean it's not taught, right? Just because I'm humoring my (then) 3 year old's request to learn to read by allowing her to repeat the first 3 of the 100 Easy Lessons once a month or so does that mean I'm damaging her? Just because someone isn't using a texbook to teach their 3 or 5 or 8+ year old does that also mean that it doesn't count as homeschooling? I don't think so. I think that homeschooling is alot more of a mindset of discipleship, and an environment of constant learning opportunities, than it is a set of rules to be followed. I believe that children are very much individuals and that if you're going at the pace they need to keep learning, and they are not becoming turned-off of schooling or frustrated, then the textbook or lack thereof is irrelevant. They are not little cookies all cut from the same cookie cutter. One child might be walking at 7 months but not verbally adept until 3 years, or vice versa. Likewise some kids may be ready for books early, and some may be ready for some but not others. Some might be mathematically inclined at 3 but unable to have reading lessons really "click" until they are 9 years old. Some like my daughter might not be ready for math but are ready (and begging) to begin working on simple reading skills as toddlers.
How about you? Do you other homeschool moms make it a point to encourage the newbie homeschoolers, even if their kids are still quite little? It could mean the difference between someone giving up in discouragement/chickening out, or giving them the confidence to not give in to the pressures of whatever is the popular way to school at the time (pushing academics early or likewise in the opposite extreme hold back kids regardless of readiness signs) and just going with how their own individual kids learn best. If I had not experienced the rudeness myself then I would probably not have really ever thought about this and could have unconciously someday been laughing (good naturedly on my part and hurtfully on hers) at the young mom of preschoolers for how stressed she seemed to be over something that really is so simple hahaha and forgotten how overwhelming it seemed when I was walking in those shoes and how far a little positive encouragement would have gone. We need to remember to be gracious not only to those who don't homeschool and don't understand why we do, but also to those who are hoping to and starting to homeschool and want the encouragement and mentorship that those who have homeschooled longer can provide. If they are laughed at or mocked by those they aspire to be, how easy to want to quit and become one of the (thankfully rare) moms I have met who used to homeschool and are now bitter toward homeschooling and/or homeschoolers in general. Lets remember our words can build up or tear down and focus on building others up!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
We're having a...
Are you curious whether we'll be getting out the pink box or the blue box this time?
We had our ultrasound on July 19th. The baby was kicking and wiggling and so so fiesty! It was such a joy to watch! When it came time to peek at the bottom, this little one had their legs crossed. Of course. :) After a little bit of wiggling and poking on my part, and just relaxing on my side for a few minutes while the ultrasound tech left the room for a few minutes to let the baby get moved around a bit, the tech came back and we tried again.
She (the ultrasound tech) asked what I think I'm having, or I mentioned it, I don't remember which. I said I was thinking it is a girl. I said that I've known with all my babies so far before the ultrasound so I was excited to find out if my hunch was correct or if my streak was broken. :)
With Chicklet I was thinking that I wanted a boy first so we were "hoping" it was a boy. But some part of me knew since I kept gravitating to the girl baby clothes in stores and couldn't really bring myself to buy anything boyish. Then one day DH caught me embroidering a pink pansy onto a onesie. I couldn't seem to help myself. I was all about the pink subconciously, while outwardly I tried to be interested in the boy things. Lol! When they told us it looked like a girl, I remember thinking it made sense now how I just couldn't get "into" to baby boy shopping. :)
Then with Bug, I knew it was a boy from I think about 15 weeks on. At our ultrasound he wouldn't uncross his legs!! I was so upset because I had this obsessive need to have it confirmed that I was having a boy so I could start buying all the BLUE I was gravitating to on the store racks. Well DH surprised me with another ultrasound at a special ultrasound studio. Again he wouldn't uncross his legs, but the nice ultrasound tech said to roll on my left side for a few minutes, and then she took another look while I was on my side and we found out that he was indeed a boy!
With Babykins, we switched midwives and the new ones didn't do ultrasounds at all so we just went right to the same ultrasound studio, Fetal Fotos, when I got to 17 weeks. By the time I went in for that ultrasound I was quite convinced that she was another girl. Well obviously she is a girl, which the nice ultrasound tech confirmed for us.
This time, I was curious if God was giving me this sweet gift of knowing ahead of time once again, and it would appear that He was indeed, as the ultrasound tech is in agreement with my guess that it is another girl. :) A precious little baby girl! I can't wait to meet her! As I type she is tickling my insides with her tiny kicks. What joy they bring me! :)
We had our ultrasound on July 19th. The baby was kicking and wiggling and so so fiesty! It was such a joy to watch! When it came time to peek at the bottom, this little one had their legs crossed. Of course. :) After a little bit of wiggling and poking on my part, and just relaxing on my side for a few minutes while the ultrasound tech left the room for a few minutes to let the baby get moved around a bit, the tech came back and we tried again.
She (the ultrasound tech) asked what I think I'm having, or I mentioned it, I don't remember which. I said I was thinking it is a girl. I said that I've known with all my babies so far before the ultrasound so I was excited to find out if my hunch was correct or if my streak was broken. :)
With Chicklet I was thinking that I wanted a boy first so we were "hoping" it was a boy. But some part of me knew since I kept gravitating to the girl baby clothes in stores and couldn't really bring myself to buy anything boyish. Then one day DH caught me embroidering a pink pansy onto a onesie. I couldn't seem to help myself. I was all about the pink subconciously, while outwardly I tried to be interested in the boy things. Lol! When they told us it looked like a girl, I remember thinking it made sense now how I just couldn't get "into" to baby boy shopping. :)
Then with Bug, I knew it was a boy from I think about 15 weeks on. At our ultrasound he wouldn't uncross his legs!! I was so upset because I had this obsessive need to have it confirmed that I was having a boy so I could start buying all the BLUE I was gravitating to on the store racks. Well DH surprised me with another ultrasound at a special ultrasound studio. Again he wouldn't uncross his legs, but the nice ultrasound tech said to roll on my left side for a few minutes, and then she took another look while I was on my side and we found out that he was indeed a boy!
With Babykins, we switched midwives and the new ones didn't do ultrasounds at all so we just went right to the same ultrasound studio, Fetal Fotos, when I got to 17 weeks. By the time I went in for that ultrasound I was quite convinced that she was another girl. Well obviously she is a girl, which the nice ultrasound tech confirmed for us.
This time, I was curious if God was giving me this sweet gift of knowing ahead of time once again, and it would appear that He was indeed, as the ultrasound tech is in agreement with my guess that it is another girl. :) A precious little baby girl! I can't wait to meet her! As I type she is tickling my insides with her tiny kicks. What joy they bring me! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)