Friday, May 7, 2010

Our Monday! (21 week prenatal appt.)

(Pictures!! I have pics in this one!!) Finally it is Friday and my Monday update is here! Lol! I know my fellow mommies understand... Pregnant, have 2 toddlers, need I say more? ;) Besides, as I'm sure you've noticed, I had other things on my mind that were demanding to be posted this week which pushed my update back a wee bit. 

Monday at 11am I had an appointment at my new birthing center. I'm not sure if I went into it at all before but I was going to a different birthing center before. I went there when pregnant with Chicklet and it was a wonderful experience for pregnancy and birth. It was much much busier and pushier when I was pregnant with my Buggie. Alot of things happened that I did not like at all. Things were so different from when I went there with Chicklet. For one thing, appointments with Chicklet were half an hour long and I could ask questions galore, but with Buggie it was a rushed 10 minute appointment where I was treated like my questions were an annoyance and most of the time it was not even a midwife in training who did my appointments, it was a doula! I have nothing against doulas but when I needed to ask questions of a midwife I couldn't because it was the doula and all the midwives were absent or busy. Not to mention this doula was very rough with me and left bruises when measuring my uterus. Also the head midwife whom I had liked so much during my Chicklet pregnancy, was like a different person when I was pregnant with my son. I had a miscarriage between Chicklet and Bug and when I went in to my first appointment with Bug, she strongly insinuated that my last baby had died because I'm fat. She forbade me to gain a single ounce and praised me for losing weight while pregnant and then insulted me by telling me I need to stop stuffing my face with sweets (I was on a very strict diet when she said this and rarely ate sweets ANYWAY. Why do people so rudely assume that everyone who is overweight is overweight because they sit around all day eating candy?!). I really don't know what I was thinking when I scheduled my first appointment for this pregnancy there. Within minutes of beginning my appointment with them, I was swamped with all the memories of reasons why I should have gone someplace else. I waited, first outside their locked door in the cold with my kids because they lock you out when they're having lunch, and then when they unlocked the door at exactly the time my appointment was supposed to begin, we had to wait in the waiting room for another half hour while others who got there after I had were shown back to their appointments, and then I was finally rushed back to my appointment where the midwife began by trying to force me to have unnecessary tests done. She tried to insist, then to demand, then to emotionally blackmail me into having the tests done like an OB would (Precisely why I chose NOT to go to an OB). Then she brought in the head midwife who told me that I was being unreasonable and needed to have some respect for her, and that I also needed to lose 10 pounds in the next month or "no midwife" would be allowed to take me- I was not "allowed" to have a natural out of hospital birth unless I lose 10 pounds while pregnant and EXTREMELY sick with hyperemisis (on medication for it). I was done. I am stubborn when I need to be and though I'm also very shy and left in tears and shaking like a leaf, I REFUSED to finish my appointment by submitting to unnecessary tests and putting another baby in danger by having my prenatal care done by a midwife who would rather I starve and diet during pregnancy than just tell me to eat healthy so that the baby and I are healthy. So I transferred to a new birthing center with new midwives to whom I've made it perfectly clear from the get-go that I will not be pushed into things I do not want or believe in, and that is why I chose a midwife rather than an OB in the first place. I've had 3 appointments at the new place so far and had no problems. They listen, respect my decisions about what tests I do and do not want, and I have an hour for each appointment to ask any questions or discuss any concerns. Nobody had manipulated me, manhandled or bruised me, or told me to do anything that was dangerous to my or my baby's health. Ladies, this is why it's important to know what you want and do your research. So many times prenatal care providors will try to beg, push, or blackmail you into what THEY want out of your prenatal and birth experience. It's not about them, it's about you and that baby and the rest of your family. While we should not have to fight for the pregnancy and birth we want, the fact is that we do have to fight for it, so know what's what beforehand and go after it, even if that means you have to switch care providors. And trust me I know how terrifying it is to have to switch! I was scared stiff! But I am SO GLAD that I did and I can tell already that I will have a healthier (physically and emotionally) pregnancy and birth because I did. If I'd known how much better it would be, and what a relief it would be, I would not have been so scared to death to switch.

Aaaannnywaaay, you're all wondering where is my actual update if you've made it this far! Lol! Well my appointment was good. The midwife let Chicklet help and Chicklet was tickled pink! She got to squeeze the gel onto my belly, turn on the doppler, and then help wipe the gell off with a kleenex. :) She smeared gel all over the place (got on my skirt and shirt) but she was just so proud of herself it was adorable! I thought it was totally sweet of the midwife to let her help. Babygirl's heartrate was the same as last month- somewhere in the 150's but specifically undefineable because she once again kept kicking the doppler and squirming away! Lol! My BP is usually on the high end of normal, and it was uncommonly low for me this time which I thought was odd. Must have been from the wonderful friendly relaxed environment here. :) My uterus measured right on for the due date I calculated.

Afterwards we went to lunch as a family and tried a new place. To my surprise the kids meals came with ice cream cones, which I was none too pleased about at first, but decided to chill out and not worry about it, so my almost 21-month-old Buggie got his first ice cream cone ever and LOVED it. ;)

He got ice cream for his 1st birthday party last August but I am pretty sure he hasn't had any since then or before then, so this was an extra special treat for him and he was very intent on eating every last lick. All by himself. Yikes! ;) Chicklet has had ice cream cones before and was so excited about her cone that she wouldn't look at the camera. Hehe...

I'm so glad that my husband thought to take pics with his phone! I lost my camera back in January or February and have STILL not taken the Christmas pics off it. I need to find that but I keep forgetting to go on a camera hunt.

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