*dirty laundry alert!*
Those who have been with me from the beginning remember when, in September of 2009, I started a meme-wannabe called Toddler Tales Tuesday. I say "wannabe" because I tried for months to get people to participate but nobody ever did. I looked all over to try to find out if anyone else was doing this first before I went ahead and named and started it and after much searching it appeared that I would be the only one doing this. I didn't want to inadvertently appear to be stealing someone else's idea. That would just not be nice at all. I really really wanted it to thrive but it didn't even get noticed, so I took to just posting it myself and hoping that someday my blog would have some followers who wanted to join me. Well when I got pregnant, with the morning sickness being so bad, the Toddler Tales Tuesdays became a bit less official (as in some were dual duty, some I forgot to label that they were toddler tales tuesday posts and they have now been misplaced, etc.) and farther between. More recently I have been feeling a bit better and have been squeezing dual duty toddler tales posts in a tiny bit more often again in the hopes that someday people will want to participate. My philosophy was that if I keep doing it, it's a good idea and someday people will discover it and it will take off.
Well it has just come to my attention that a well known giveaway blogger started doing this same thing, under the same name minus 1 word, on the same weekday, with a very similar purpose originally stated. She started hers in March of this year... a full 6 months after I started my Toddler Tales Tuesday. In her first one, she said it was going to be to share "activities and moments that we have with our toddlers," which is aggrivatingly similar to the purpose of my Toddler Tales Tuesday, the purpose of which is to share things our kids have said and done that are cute, sweet, or funny. When I saw that, I felt... well I felt cheated. Being a well known blogger with like a million times more readers than I have, I was sure hers would take off and then, worst of all, I might become the assumed copycat since nobody ever really participated in mine but me. That would really hurt. Really. To be accused of copycatting an idea that I thought of 6 months before the one I supposedly copied began. So as you can see, I was understandably concerned. I wondered if I should quit my Toddler Tales Tuesday, melt into the shadows of linkydom and lick my wounds and pout. Yes pout. I think if it weren't for all the preggo hormones in my body I may not have taken this *quite* so harshly... If I weren't preggo I'd have thought of all the same things and still been upset, but I might not have actually cried about it. Yes, I did cry. And I fully intend to blame the crying and pouting parts on the preggo hormones. I mean really what good are baby-induced-mood-swings if you can't blame things on them once in a while? ;)
So back to the serious topic at hand... I really don't think this blogger had any idea that I was already doing something so similar. I don't think she'd purposely try to steal an idea out from under someone. I don't know know her but she seems like a nice enough woman. Since the start of her meme, she has posted activity ideas for preschoolers each week. That's pretty much it. If that's all it's going to be, it isn't like mine and I was worried for nothing. But her description this week says it's for sharing "fun toddler related activities, memories, and whatever else toddler related you would like to share." which once again plants it firmly in uncomfortable territory for me. :-/
So here is my confession. I'm having a really hard time with this. I'm going round and round in my head, one minute feeling cheated and indignant, the next feeling sorry for myself because I've been trying to get this going for 6 months and it's not budging and wondering if maybe I just don't get to keep this fun little idea of mine no matter how hard I try. My hubby would shrug like it's nothing and nonchalantly tell me to just let it go and forget it- then he would promptly forget it by the time I got my next sentence out. Lol! Well hey that sure sounds great but I'm an emotional hormonal pregnant woman and my upset doesn't have a magical "off" button! I sometimes envy him that he seems to have that magical off button. I feel bad and kind of sick about my idea not only failing but that it's now someone else's idea and it's working for them. It's like kicking someone while they are down or rubbing salt in a wound to not only fail but to have someone else take up the torch and do better at inspiring participation by their second post than I have in my whole 6 months combined. So I'm not sure whether to just concede defeat and leave mine in the dust, or to keep plugging along in my failure, waiting for the inevitable day when I get accused of copycatting the meme that began 6 months after mine. Hmmm... Not sure. It just keeps going round and round in my head and I feel bad, then I feel bad for feeling bad about it, then I stop feeling guilty for feeling bad about it and just feel bad, then I feel guilty again for feeling bad...
So hey I have no idea what the real point of this post was. I think just to kind of vent and get those yucky feelings off my chest. (I'll tell ya what it was NOT so that you can tell me how childish I'm being and make even more yucky feelings well up inside me, thanks! So if there's anyone passing by and reading this who has the inclination to do so, please, just don't. I know I'm not handling this in a good way- didn't I say so several times in several ways already? Good so now that we have that established...) Like I said I am pretty sure the other blogger has no idea I exist, let alone that I host the same meme. So I'm not blaming her or anything. Just venting. Because if I let those yucky feelings swirl around inside for too long I'll start getting really short with hubby and the kids and that wouldn't be appreciated. So here is me, letting them OUT. Goodbye rotten feelings! Good riddance! ;)